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Lost For Words

Hi, throughout my pregnancys/losses ive always looked at these threads and finally thought todays the day im gonna start a thread. At the moment i feel at such a loss after suffering my third misscarraige within 8 month. Yes thats right im now in that awful 1% and it scares me everytime i think about it, mcs were 7.5 weeks, and two at 5.5 weeks, people say if you stay positive itll work but by god was i positive this lastest pregnancy to only now feel that ive hit the groumd harder than ever before. Has anyone had 3 mcs and had healthy pregnancy after, i dont really feel like i have anywhere to turn, doctors just say theyll make a referral and EPU are frankly horrid and dont want to know unless your past a certain week. Please fill me with hope that i might eventually get there :(


  • Hi Bobbie

    firstly your not alone. I have had 5 mc 1 at 13 weeks one at 8 weeks but was a missed miscarriage and 3 around 5 weekss! It truly was the worst 18 months of my life! The impact it had on my relationship was tough. We nearly seperated on a number of occasions and even lost friends because I couldn't face seeing them with babies. On reflection I really should have had counselling.

    i do have hope for you. I have a 10 month daughter now and currently 18 weeks pregnant with my second! I have however been given treatment despite nothing ever being found wrong with me. I currently take aspirin and drag in and took progesterone in my early stages.

    i recommend a book by Lesley Reagan called miscarriages (I thinks it's a green cover) gives many reasons why it happens etc and actually made me confident I would carry a baby. Maybe also consider when you next get pregnant 75mg of aspirin my consultant says it does no harm.

    it really is a long a lonely road but there is also a thread on here called getting pregnant after a miscarriage. Not sure what number it is on now (unfortunately there is many of us) but was really supportive. 

    There really are many reasons why they happen and could just be bad luck but f you have any questions please ask. Take a holiday and some time for yourselves xxx

  • Hi bobble I'm so sorry for your losses it's de and although I've not had as many mc as you I know my hearts feels. Similar way there's a thread called tying to concive after miscarriage part 11 and we are a ttc family many of whom have ma multiple mc and I'm sure we can help you get through it :) 

    i know the girls have helped me so much and couldn't have gotten through it without them xx

  • Thanks for your response. Totally get the friend thing, one of my best friends just annouced she is 14 weeks pregnant and i just cant manage to be happier for her, how awful that i have turned into one of those bitter women. What tests did you have to go through and hope you dont mind me asking did you go private or nhs? Did it take long? I worry about people thinking i cant have kids,, seems so minimal but i dont ever want anyone to say that about me, people keep saying at least you can get pregnant, thats the easy part for us! Did you ever feel guilty? I know i shouldnt but i always feel guilty asif its my fault that this has happened, DH is brill really although not an emotional person so quite difficult to understand that he deals with it in his own way. I have to go back to work shortly and evrryone knows as im a nurse and cant lift and been extra careful this time i am dreading the looks of feelimg sorry for me :( im 25 i know o have a few years to have more gos but i dont know whether my heart can take anymore at this point :( xx

  • Hi Bobble

    what  have learnt from friends and what I didn't do was talk about it. Explain to your friend what has happened and you may need to keep your distance but your pleased for her (even if your not) it made me very bitter and that's not me. A lot of people blame themselves. I would often think what did I do at 8 weeks to cause this to try and find an excuse. The reality is if it's going to happen it will. I have a 10 month old daughter lift her in car seat and she is 18lbs without the seat. we never told anyone until I was 20 weeks with her.

    we went nhs it did take a while and in that time I did have another miscarriage (I wasn't on treatment) prob about 3 months to get an appointment and then from there. I would email to make contact with my consultant. What I will say as much as waiting is stressful. It enables me to reflect and body to heal. They did our genetics my blood etc and I also asked them to check my partners sperm quality as he was a smoker at the time. All came back fine. If you did wish to go private then I know professor quenby has a clinic near staffordshire I think and can added tests like natural killer cells which the NHS cover. I was lucky my consultant  is laid back and let me try fragmin and progesterone and 4 weekly scans from 20 weeks. 

    hope that helps 

  • Sorry i meant the NHS do not cover the natural killer cells test x

  • I have no clue what it could be just hopimg its not something life altering :( i work in the nhs so hoping i may be able to spurr things on a bit. Did you ever have killer cells test? Were yous mcs consecutive? Sorry i know lots of questions xx

  • No i didnt in the end. We were going to give it one last try with the treatment plan that my consultant suggested. Yes they were all consecutive. I haven't had one since before my daughter. Not sure if it is because I'm more relaxed this time. it's good you work for nhs as hopefully your be able to contact your consultant easier. Have you got your referral yet? 

  • Not gotten a referral yet, appt next wed with GP to ask him to make it. Fingers crossed may be able to speed things along. Rang EPU today to cancel appt on sunday morning as know for definite everythings come away, she said are you sure it wasnt twins and also said oh do you know cause the baby came out, that place seriously have no tact whatsoever! Xx

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