Why me....
Hello there, I am new to this site.. me and my partner have been trying for a baby now for a good few years.. after 7 miscarriages already under my belt I still want more then anything to be a mum... I thankfully fell pregnant again 13 weeks ago and everything was going perfectly.. Me and my partner both finally felt that this was the one ... But over the last few nights after having the tell tail pains it happened again... I woke up to blood all over the covers and bed again... We went to the hospital and was told we had lost our baby again... The car journey home was one ive had to experiance many times.. ( complete silence, shook, disbalief ) we got home and my partner kissed me, said he was sorry! And went up to bed and I was left on the sofa for the rest of the night... this morning im still in pain and feel completely empty and alone, my partner had to go into work so I'm Sat here going out of my mind...( is he thinking why am I with a women thats incapable of doing the one thing that a women is created to do!! ) I just want to be a mum!!!!!! i cant turn on the telly because I don't want to see a baby advert, don't want to go out because I will just brake down if I see a pregnant mummy...( I am so jealous of everyone and everything again ) I just feel like I am stuck in this cycle and I can't cope anymore.... I'm sorry if anyone reading this thinks i am crazy but I just needed to get out how im feeling right now...
Replies
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you again and that you're feeling so alone.
After so many losses are the doctors looking into why for you? I'm sure your partner is not wondering why he is with you. He loves you for you and you're in this together.
Big hugs and I hope you can get some answers soon x
Thank you for your kind comment...
I have have had quite a few tests done and the doctors have said that the reason I keep having reoccuring miscarriages is because I have factor v leiden .. It's a blood clotting problem...
I think I am worrying more now because my partner already has a son already with an ex partner and this child would have been my first. I really don't think he understands how much this hurts me every single time, it's like he has detached his mind from everything, I fall in love with every single baby that is grow bf inside me and my partner seems to just brush himself off and carry on with life, but its so different for me, I am hurting so bad right now...
So sorry for your losses missminky I’ve suffered 5 losses at varying stages and it’s an awful experienc:( I think hubbys/ partners struggle knowing what the right thing to say/do so they switch off /detach. I’m very lucky as hubby and I have always talked everything through. Maybe a meal together and explain how you are feeling?
Have you been advised to try baby aspirin from when you fall pregnant next time?? I was tested for sticky blood but was all clear but advised to try aspirin from a bfp next time anyway as it can’t do any harm ( I’m no gp though but something to consider) it helps stop the clotting etc
I so hope you can talk things through with your partner and you get your rainbow baby very soon 😊
Ive managed to have 3 children between miscarriages so don’t give up hope stay positive xxx
Hey honey. So sorry to hear that. I hope you manage to pull through. As far as your partner is concerned, I’m afraid men just aren’t that good at expressing. There can be exceptions of course. However, most men struggle. So, they simply just not say anything. It might give the outward appearance that it does not affect him, but I’m sure it does. He feels it just as much as you. After all, he lost the baby too. Everyone just grieves in their own way. You should talk to him. Address the issue directly. Tell him how his lack of involvement makes you feel. He sounds like a decent man. Hopefully, he will come around.
Hi there. That is terrible. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you. Having to go through that anguish so many times. I hope the next time is the one. You deserve a rainbow baby. He/she will be worth the wait. Have you tried to find out why you keep losing the child? Knowing that might be helpful. Take a break from trying to conceive. Use this time to heal yourself mentally and physically. In this time, also try to address the underlying problem. Hopefully, this will help lower the risks next time. Good luck! Hang in there.
Hello. That is so sad to hear. I’m sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you said. I recently had my second miscarriage. I was gutted, to say the least. My husband, on the other hand, seemed to be just fine. This really bothered me. However, when I did ask him about it, I realized I was wrong. Just because he wasn’t showing it, didn’t mean he was sad. He just wasn’t able to express it. This might be the case for your partner too. You should talk to him about it. Good luck!
Hi Missminxy. I’m sorry for your loss. I hope your hard times are behind you now. I’m sure you must have done it already, but consider talking to a fertility specialist. From what I know, there are also miscarriage specialists. They can help you figure out the reason behind the miscarriages. It would be better to do this before trying again. As far as your partner is concerned, I’m sure he isn’t thinking that. He must know how hard it is for you too. You are not to be blamed for this. So, please put that worry to rest. Sometimes people just have a hard time dealing with loss and pain. So, they just shut themselves off. This might be the case with your partner too. I hope things work out for you both.
I am really sorry that you have to go through this. I am glad that you are still holding up. After all such chaos and mess, you still want to have a baby. I have seen people giving up in such a situation but it is you who still wants to try. There is nothing to be ashamed of. No one here is thinking that you are crazy. Its good of you to seek help. In your current situation. Hoping for the best you will find your solution here!
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I'm really sorry to hear that, darling. About your husband - I think he is sad too. He must feel it. I will agree with what the other lady said that men are not very good at expressing. They try to be strong. Strength is what makes a man a man. I'm sure he is just trying to be normal so that you can do that too. It's hard. I know. Living a normal life after all that. Sadly, this is how the world works. We have our bad days but we cannot spend our lives thinking about them. We need to move on. Moving is surviving. You guys can also visit a psychologist. You can also talk to your husband about this. Tell him how you feel about this and that you want him to share his feeling too. That this is important. I hope it all turns out well for you.
Oh, my GOD! You have had a lot of miscarriages and I cannot believe that. Woah! You have been through a lot dear on a journey to have a baby. It is more hurting when you are pregnant and you lose your child even before seeing it in your arms. You should not feel the way you are feeling at the moment. If you see pregnant ladies so talk to them and make yourself feel better. You will have to accept your fate. There is no other way out for you. Getting too much depressed will lead you to a worse condition. Go out with your body and enjoy the moments. You should sit with him when he comes back from work. Tell him the way you feel about what has happened from the past many years and express your love for him. He will obviously understand you and will love you and support you. I can just pray for you and hope that everything goes fine.
Hi Missminxy. I am also new here. Let’s welcome each other, LOL. Oh, I am really sorry about your miscarriages. I am glad to see how positive you are. Normally people lose hope after miscarriages. However, unlike others, you are full of spirit. Don’t think negative about your husband. I know it will be hard but talk to him when he gets home. Tell him that you need his support. I am sure he will not leave you. I know what you are going through. Have you consulted any infertility specialist? If no, you should. That would be the best solution.
Hey my dear, what you wrote just start my tears running down to my eyes. PLEASE don’t lose your heart. I know and I completely understand your loss. My dear, why don’t you go for IVF procedure (Test tube baby) believes me it’s very effective. Also, surrogacy is very effective. It allows having your own genetically baby from another lady’s womb. Please go for it. I am praying you from the soul of my heart. Take care of your diet, health, physical activity. You are on the top list of my prayers. Best of luck. Don’t show your weakness to your husband in fact to anyone.
Hey Beautiful! You are a very brave lady and a fighter too. Just don’t lose hope never ever, please. Maybe your partner is also in trauma don’t judge him by his current condition, its natural honey 🙂 he loves you the way you are and very soon you will conceive a baby. Just don’t give up, if you fall again stand and face the situation. You are a wonderful lady and will be a proud mom very soon just have hope and fingers crossed as you are not only one in this world who is facing these problems there are million other with same MC stories. Stand again try again and never give up.
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Hello! I am so sorry to learn about your condition. I hope you will figure out a solution to this. To the extent your accomplice is concerned, I'm apprehensive men simply aren't that great at communicating. There can be exemptions obviously. Nonetheless, most men are not really good at it. In this way, they essentially just not state anything. It may give the outward appearance that it doesn't influence him, however, I'm certain it does. He feels it the same amount of as you. All things considered, he lost the child as well. Everybody just laments in their own particular manner. You should converse with him. Address the issue straightforwardly. Disclose to him how his absence of inclusion influences you to feel. He seems like an average man. Hopefully, his attitude will change.
Hey dear! Welcome to the site. You have come to the right platform to share your concerns with other people. I hope you will get a lot of support and love from here. It is your second miscarriage and the feelings you are having are totally right because it is a very big loss for you. It is not a small matter that you and your hubby will forget in days. It will take you some more time to get out of this situation. Sitting alone in the house and feeling shy to go out is not the right thing for you to do at the moment. You need to gather yourself and go out. You will have to change your daily routine and start some healthy activities so that your mind is diverted from all these things. As far as the behavior of your hubby is concerned, he will also be okay with the passage of time because he is also upset. Try to stay happy.