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Pregnancy loss at 12 weeks

Hi all

On 30th January 18, I went for my 12 week scan to find out my baby had died at 8-9 weeks, we had a scan at 6+1 and saw the heartbeat, we are devastated by our loss, and I have been signed off work for almost 3 weeks, I don't feel mentally ready to go back, I can't focus or concentrate on anything , I'm due to see a counselor tomorrow. I'm really struggling to deal with everything. Any advice please? 


  • U had three mcs and i know at the time theres nothing anyone can do to make you feel better, but take solace in what you can, many women have mcs and mosy go on to have healthy pregnancys. Its really good youre seeing councillor, always just try and smile when you can, keep your partnee and family closer than ever, even though it feels like u wont, youll bounce back from this stronger than ever. Sendings lots of love xxxxxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear that :( that's awful for you. My family & friends have been amazing, I'm terrified of going back to work, I was having a hard time before and now I feel it will be worse. My colleague's don't care and haven't contacted me to see how I'm doing which makes me feel like even more of an outcast. Hugs & kisses xxx

  • Dont stress about work, take the time you need, greive is diferent for everyone and you need to put you first. In the words of my partner F*** your colleagues youve got your lovely supportive family. I also noted a lot of people in my life who quite frankly didnt give two sh*** but hey ho i know who cares and who doesnt now! Go see your GP get signed off a few more weeks, take that time for you, join the group trying to get pregnant after miscarraige they were amazing and they all know exactly how you feel. Im sixteen weeks pregnant now, it can happen and it will! Xxxz

  • Thank you for reply, I completely agree with your partner, I hope when I return they will appreciate me but I highly doubt it! Congratulations :) did it take long? All I want is to be pregnant again, I miss my little baby so much, although I never felt its movements it was part of me ,& my fiance and we loved it from day one, my partner would give my belly s kiss in the morning and at night and we would talk to it daily. I'm going back to epu tomorrow so hopefully the counselor can get a gp to do it, my family think I should return to work but I'm really not ready. Xxx

  • Well my work colleagues certainly didnt but i dont even care anymore, im currently on the sick due to the lack of support also! Well we had mc Jan17, apr17 and Aug17 and then fell again Oct17 and this one stuck! Its a very didficult greif because you feel no one understands, id actually go as far as to say my partner didnt totally get it either which was very isolating! They should defo sign you off, please do let me know how things go and message me anytime for a chat :) be nice to hear when you have a stickybean xxx

  • My partner took it badly and won't talk about it.  Omg 3 losses that's awful Hun :( how long have you been off for so far? I thought I was doing ok but now I just feel sad :( glad you've got your sticky bean :) x

  • A week so far and ive heard nothing from any of them, but after each loss i took a couple weeks also, my partner was  little quiet too, one day he shouted 'i lost my baby too' and it kinda hit home even thou he doesnt show it it defo still effected him. Its okay to feel sad, thats completely normal, big hugs xzz

  • I've not heard anything from anyone for 2 weeks :( makes me feel even more of an outcast. Have you been signed off with stress? My partner and I haven't spoken about it for a couple of weeks now :( I'm fed up of everyone telling me I should be going back to work, they think I'm not going back because I dont like my job x

  • Steffyjane I've been through this lost my 5th pregancy on Saturday morning at 6 weeks and I'm confused as to y I've lost 3 in a row (2 before my son) I lost 1 at 12 weeks it was awful but very soon after that I fell with my son who is now 5 :) x

  • Yeah with stress, its important to go back when your ready not when everyone else thinks you are, and yes not liking your job will probablys add to that, who wants to go back to an unsupportive enviroment in difficult times, defo take some time. It must be really hard with your partner but yous need to at least talk a little about it, maybe not now but in time xxxx

  • I think going back to work yo early is not a good thing u need time to heal I had 3 month off after my 12 week loss and I needed it as I was in and out of hospital getting d and c done x

  • Mam of 1, thats awful :( I'm so sorry! I've just seen the counselor she agreed I'm not ready for work yet, work make you feel like a fraud when your not because it's not physical. Did you feel better for taking the time you needed? My GP receptionist just phoned me to ask how long I wanted, she offered 1 month but I thought that might be to much so I said 2 weeks I'll see how that goes. Bobble321 my counselor agreed with what you've said , I just need time for me and to be on my own to grieve as I've had people trying to keep me busy, I wanna scream at them to leave me be!! Xx

  • Scream, cry and shout do whatever makes you feel better! Glad councillor seemed understanding! Xxz

  • To just be pregnant again that would make it better, I miss my baby :( I miss being pregnant!! :'( xxx

  • Yeah i get that, just remember ur mind needs time to heal aswell before you can move forward safely, make sure your getting big hugs off your fella xxxx

  • Hi all

    So it's been 6 weeks since I lost my baby and I'm still bleeding heavily :'( has anyone else experienced bleeding like this? I'm going to see my GP tonight as I've bled through 2 night pads today plus my knickers. I start my new job tomorrow so can't be in a position to just bleed through all my clothing!! Getting so pissed off now as I want to be normal again x

  • Sounds v unconfortable, was doc able to help? Congrats on neww job too! Xxx

  • Gave me tranexamic acid xx thank you xx

  • Hi all

    Just wanted to share my recent update with you all, last Weds evening I had to go to a&e as I passed my baby , 7 weeks after my 12 week scan!! I've been carrying my baby for 19 weeks in total :'( 10-11 weeks of that baby's been dead :'( tonight I got pain from my left ovary & I did another ovukovula test and it's showing positive!! It's been positive for weeks!! What the hell is going on with me :'( im so fed up of all this and want to try again but same time feel like we're just doing it for a hopeful outcome abd bot because we actually want yo be having sex, it was fun before the miscarriage but now I don't feel that all the time :'( am I a bad person?? 

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