Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

If you've just miscarried and need some support



  • That’s a lovely idea about the tree or the plant. I still need to do something for my sleeping baby Jacob. I really wish we’d done our own cremation but we were just grief stricken at the time and weren’t thinking properly after his birth. I have a lovely Thomas Sarbo bracelet with a blue baby-grow charm on it to remember him by and I wear it every single day.
    I promise it gets easier but it does take time. I might’ve been a slow griever but I think I cried every day for about 10 months, even if it was a quick minute in the shower. Everyone’s different though. We still talk about him sometimes as I feel it helps everyone in the family. 

    Just take your time and let yourself

  • hiya ladies

    hope you dont mind if i join.

    went for my 12 week scan on monday to be told there is a sac which keeps growing but no baby inside, absolutely heartbroken, this will be our 2nd MC.

    we have to go to the hospital tomorrow to give consent and go through risks then will be having the surgery monday, terrified for it, mostly because i dont like needles.

  • Awww so sorry for your loss @Amnx , it truly is heartbreaking to hear those words. All your hopes etc feel destroyed immediately but I promise you, it does get easier. The surgery you’ll have is pretty quick and to be honest, in my opinion, less traumatic than waiting for it to happen. I know there’s pros and cons etc but you will be fine- honestly. 

    Dont gorget yiur your hormones are everywhere at the moment and the grief adds to this. Be kind to yourself- talk to people and on here and slowly you will feel better.
    I never really know whether to post my experiences but I found it helpful when I was going through the same. I lost 2 babies last year, one at 20/21 weeks pregnant that I had to deliver and the other at 11 weeks and I had the surgery. I was absolutely devastated and took it really badly. However, I now have a 10 week old baby girl so there is light at the end of the tunnel! Sending you big hugs. Xxx
  • thank you @EmJ3 yes i think the surgery will be less traumatic, the first time we waited for it to happen naturally and its not something you want to see or pain you want to feel again. im just hoping it doesnt start or happen before monday as i am at work at the moment and about 15 miles from home. 

    i cant imagine how you dealt with a loss at 20-21 weeks so far on, you are so strong! yes i am just hoping that it will be 3rd time lucky for us, its even harder when its planned babies isnt it. 

    i went for a reading last night and she mentioned my MC and she was saying its not the right time yet to try again, its really annoyed me and i dont know if i should just forget what she has said and try when we are ready anyway. 

  • I like hearing readings etc but I take it all with a pinch of salt. I got told to forget about my boyfriend at the time as nothing will come of it...he’s now my husband!!! Haha!!!

    sorry you’ve had 2 losses- it feels so much harder when they’re planned babies and so wanted. I really hope it’s 3rd time lucky for you like me.
    Something that really helped me was the consultant telling me that every single pregnancy is completely different- new egg, Sperm etc so when you fall pregnant again, it should be seen as a fresh start and you should be as positive as possible, which I know will be hard but you can’t let worries and anxiety take over.xxxx
  • ahaha they are cheeky arent they! yes im going to try to forget about what she has said and carry on as we planned to. 

    yes hopefully 3rd time lucky for us, if your rainbow baby your first?
    yes thats very true i just feel like why me like why do i have to have 2 in a row its so unfair as i dont drink or smoke or do anything. and then you get some people who do things you shouldnt all the way through and have healthy babies. i am also a stresshead which doesnt help. the lady i dealt with on monday was really nice and informative, she runs the ward for EPAU and told me next time i am pregnant she will do me an early scan which made me a feel a bit better as i think 12 weeks is a long time to wait. xxx
  • We have 2 older children, 14 and 7 so losing my baby boy last year was a real shock. I just thought it would be fine. Then to have another loss after him just tipped me over the edge! It’s such a long and hard journey but it will be worth it when you hold your baby. Think positively and don’t give up and you will get your rainbow! I was determined and even through the really bad days I knew I was not going to give up. I cried a lot- I think I’m a crier in general- it’s the only way I let out my emotions properly but it does get
  • awww thats lovely, yeah i can imagine if you have had 2 healthy pregnancies to then have 2 losses is a massive shock to you. but you kept on going and got your rainbow baby which she is beautiful by the look of your dp. 
    did you just wait for a cycle and then start trying again or did you give yourself time? yeah i can be a crier too, i havent cried that much since monday really but ive been relly busy we had a funeral tuesday so ive not had much time to relax but i think tomorrow and monday i will definitely have a cry xxx
  • After the first loss, I tried as soon as I could, after the 2nd loss, I waited 2/3 months just because I was a bit obsessed about it and wanted to give my body a bit of a break. Luckily, I got pregnant straight away. It’s whatever is best for you really.
    Definitely give yourself a bit of time to cry and grieve but then you can try again for your
  • Hi @Amnx I'm so sorry for ur loss and that u have to go through this. Sorry I didn't read up through everything, but I think you should try only if u are mentally ready as soon as dr says ur physically OK to do so. Please remember mc makes a big mess out of ur cycle so it will be very unpredictable. I never got that far with my mcs, but I had 3 so far and a son after first mc. So even if I can't fully comprehend ur pain I can understand at least a bit. If u want to chat u can always drop me a pm. I'm always around. As @EmJ3 said, be kind to urself it's not ur fault. I'm a science person so I don't believe in reading crap! No-one should tell u what to do, u know what's best for u. Hugs
  • @EmJ3 yeah i think we will know when we are ready to try again i guess. xxx

    @MadDoda thank you, and so sorry for your 3 losses. cycles can be hard to understand without throwing a MC into the mix cant they. i suppose we wont know until after the surgery how we feel and how soon we want to try again. 

    we are going to book a night away and we have a spa day to book so hopefully the break will do us some good xxx
  • That sounds lovely, make sure u try to relax as much as its possible. Quality time is very important. About cycles if u want to understand them better, I suggest considering bbt when u will be rdy to try again. 
  • i will ha\ve a look into it thank you xx
  • @Amnx, I am so so sorry for your loss - you are in my thoughts these next few days <3 I hope you get your rainbow baby soon,and I agree, take those readings with a grain of salt and decide what you want to do in the end! 
  • @MadDoda so sorry for your loss
    It's hardest feeling in the world and nothing can help with it. 
    I had 3 mc in row and it was as nightmare, but tbh last one wasn't as hard as I knew about pregnancy for few days and not get use to though. My advice is take a break, try to get few month break to restart your body and help your mental health.
    Fingers crossed next pregnancy will bring you sticky baby x
  • @Sigsauer thank you. I had only two consecutive mcs separated by cycle, I didn't make a break coz time is against me. Well I didn't make to get pregnant since, so it worked out as a break. Either way, I expect another mc if I get pregnant again. Drs are too slow adjusting my meds, I top them up myself, but I think it's still not enough to keep pregnancy.
  • @madsbellsngeorge if you don't mind me asking what meds you taking? 
  • MadDodaMadDoda Regular
    edited Dec 7, 2019 10:53AM
    I got autoimmune thyroid which started to get worse after first kid. I'm on levotyroxine. 
  • I see.. That's must be case of mc.. What your GP saying 
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