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If you've just miscarried and need some support

DanielleMFMDanielleMFM admin
edited Aug 13, 2019 9:28AM in Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

Hello.
If you’re reading this thread, it’s likely you’ve recently suffered a miscarriage: we are so sorry for your loss.

We also wanted to let you know, you are not alone, especially here on the forum.

Sadly, miscarriage is something many of us experience and we know how important it can be to have a place where you can talk to others who understand how you’re feeling and what you’re going through.

So that’s what this thread is for. 
Please do come and say hello – we’re sending you virtual hugs.

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Replies

  • I had 3 MC in row and it was devastating. And I am here to support ladies who is going through it and need advice,shoulder or just a person who knows how it is to be that 1 in 4...
  • @Sigsauer I have had 2 early MCs now and was told they won’t look into reasons unless you have 3. Can I ask what happens after the third? What tests do they do? 
  • SmithL35 said:
    @Sigsauer I have had 2 early MCs now and was told they won’t look into reasons unless you have 3. Can I ask what happens after the third? What tests do they do? 
    First of all think positive you will have health pregnancy next time

    They didn't really offered me any tests,as they said my last MC was chemical pregnancy and that I am testing way to early.

    But after that I had new pregnancy and month ago I have a birth to a healthy little boy
  • Thank you @Sigsauer it’s very reassuring. Yes I have seen a few of your posts and read you’d recently given birth, massive congratulations x
  • SmithL35 said:
    Thank you @Sigsauer it’s very reassuring. Yes I have seen a few of your posts and read you’d recently given birth, massive congratulations x
    Thank you.
    Just keep trying and believe your little bundle will be here in no time x
  • Yes we are going to try again this month....fingers crossed! I need to just try and wait until af due date and then go from there rather than test early x
  • SmithL35 said:
    Yes we are going to try again this month....fingers crossed! I need to just try and wait until af due date and then go from there rather than test early x
    That what I done after last MC...waited week after AF due, didn't want go through another mc
  • I’m a bit worried atm , as I found out around 4 weeks ago that my baby died at 6 weeks. I have chosen to wait for things to happen naturally , but nothing has happened . I have some sharp pains in the abdomen which make me nervous as all I think about is what if I get infection . I have an appointment for Monday to take medical treatment . I am also scared how all this goes , if it will be very painful and if the tissue passes on it’s own or if I will need surgery. I know everyone’s different, but still it would be good to know if anyone has had a similar situation and if there is a risk of infection if they let me wait for so long even tho the Fetus is dead inside of me . All these thoughts are Just killing me :( 
  • @Beni96 so sorry for your loss..MC is not really painful more like bad period pain,but it is hard mentally. Some women don't misscary naturally, good that you have appointment on Monday,but if by then your pain will get stronger go to a&e x
  • Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss. A MC is heartbreaking when it happens but you will get through it. The medical treatment is usually a pessary that makes you contract and pass the baby. It will be like @Sigsauer says, like period pains at this point- not too painful. Obviously the bigger the baby, the more difficult this becomes but you will be fine.

    emotionally, you need to give yourself time to grieve. 

    As devastating as it is, You have to remember that every pregnancy is new and different and just because this has happened doesn’t mean it’ll happen again. I lost my baby boy at 20-21 weeks pregnant last March and then MC again in August at 11 weeks. I’m now over 37 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby girl and I never thought I’d get to this point.

    take care and good luck on Monday.xxx
  • Thank you girls for your support, I hope all will go well xx take care too xx 
  • I just recently had a miscarriage and it was the most traumatic and devastating thing to ever happen to me. 
    It started on a Monday I woke up out my sleep to blood running down my legs, I rushed to the restroom where I passed this massive boot clot. I thought for sure that was the baby, and my pregnancy was over. I grieved that entire day begging and pleading for understanding as to why this happened to me. I even reached out to some people I knew that had miscarriages to understand how they coped with it mentally. The entire day was awful I didn’t get any sleep and I had to act happy around my son because he was unaware of what I was experiencing.
    On Tuesday I went to the doctor and my doctor asked me what happened and informed me that it might had been a threatened miscarriage and there was a 50/50 chance that I cold still be pregnant.i just knew in my mind it was over, and I already came to terms with it.i got an ultrasound and there my baby was still bouncing around in my stomach, I was so confused and in disbelief. I felt as if my prayers was answered and I was given that second chance. Everything was fine, my uterus was in tact, my cervix was great, the baby’s heartbeat was normal and it was moving just fine. My doctor informed me that it could still be a chance for miscarriage, but at that moment everything was fine. I left the hospital with new pictures of the baby,  and was excited to move forward. 
    Later that evening the pain became intense in my pelvic area so i decided to go to the Emergency room. I was at the emergency room for five hours, and still on the ultrasound the baby was bouncing around, heartbeat was normal and everything was fine. I made it home about midnight, when I got in the pain got intense and my pelvic area felt bloated. I sat on the toilet and what felt like a vaginal birth, came out my baby in a sac. In total shock, I scooped it out the toilet and just starred at it in confusion because everything was just fine, but here my baby is dead in a spoon. Before I could even grieve I felt pressure come from my pelvic area. I began to pass huge clots and everything released from my body. All I know about death is that once you’re about to die everything is emptied from your body. And that’s exactky what happened to me.Blood, clots, and bowel was released from my body. It felt like death, I felt faint and dizzy, I didn’t have the energy to even clean my self, I fell to the floor and there I laid for atleast an hour with blood and bowel everywhere. What’s even more hard about the situation is that I had to beg for the strength to get up and clean the bathroom because my son was in the bed sleep, and I didn’t want him to walk in the bathroom with me laying like that in the floor. Faint and dizzy, I passed blood, clots, and bowel one more time before I was able to get up and clean up. I cleaned the blood and bowel up, and place the baby in papertowels in a ziplock bag, I couldn’t find the strength to flush it down the toilet. The sad part is I experienced this all by myself which leaves me more devastated because I have no shoulder to lean on. Here I am physically drained and mentally confused still having to act normal so my child don’t suspect anything. This is tough, and I never thought I’d experienced anything like this. I need help, and I have the slightest clue on where to turn, and that how I ended up here! 
  • @Step2011so sorry for your loss.
    What a totally horrible experience you had! I never heard about something like that. You are very strong person and you son is your biggest support. May be you think how can he be,but because of him you finding this strength in you! It's very hard to get yourself together after MC,but with time it will gets bit easier and one day you will be pregnant again and will have a baby x 
  • He most definitely is, because without him I know for sure I would of gave up. It’s just unfair I can’t grieve, I know once I start I won’t be able to stop, so being strong is my only option. I just need someone to say a prayer for me, because this experience was so traumatic and I’m forever altered from it, I’ll never be the same mentally. I hope to get that chance again one day because I was so ready to be a mommy again.
  • Step2011 said:
    He most definitely is, because without him I know for sure I would of gave up. It’s just unfair I can’t grieve, I know once I start I won’t be able to stop, so being strong is my only option. I just need someone to say a prayer for me, because this experience was so traumatic and I’m forever altered from it, I’ll never be the same mentally. I hope to get that chance again one day because I was so ready to be a mommy again.
    And thank you for you kind words 
  • @Step2011 it is hard experience and hard to grieve as most people don't understand truly meaning of it. Only person who had same experience will understand. 
    Try to find something to help you to tribute that pregnancy- new tattoo, play a flower, get a piece of jewellery that you will wear daily and ect...
    After my MC I got earrings with a footprint that I am wearing now,for me worked as a stiches for my broken heart and in the future I planning on getting tattoo.
  • Thank you, will do! 
  • @Step2011 I can totally relate to what you are going through. I myself went through the exact same experience, while I was reading your post it was like reading a memory of my own. Everything was fine with my pregnancy also up until all of a sudden I bleed, docs said everything was fine on scans but that night the same thing happend. If it wasn't for my son id never have gotten through it the same as I did also. Trust it does get easier, but there will always be a hole in your heart for the baby you lost 😔
  • edited Aug 8, 2019 7:49PM
    @Sami0227 It’s so weird and confusing. I had just literally seen the baby on an ultrasound, and not even thirty minutes from leaving the ER I was looking at it dead in a spoon. I know for sure it will be a hole in my heart, but to know it’ll eventually get better is what’s giving me hope. Glad you were able to make it through your experience, and I hope to one day as well!!
  • Hi ladies, Im just about to experience my third mc. I had doubts from the beginning, but then I somehow calmed down when they did my bloods. But this morning I got a call: hcg 21, repeat on Monday. I would be 5+1 today, so no matter how I look at , there is no way. So I'm just waiting for that damn cramps and blood to start over. I never thought I will have to go through this 3 times and its always do hard. 
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