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Twin Loss & TTC after Bereavment

KellyHoltetKellyHoltet
in Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
Hello. My husband and I lost our twin girls at 22 weeks due to an incompetent cervix on June 27th. At our 18 week anatomy scan on May 31st, my cervix was 2.9cm in length. The doctors told us they are only concerned if it is 2.5cm or shorter. I had a scheduled appointment at a Perinatal clinic June 21st for a checkup. They found via ultrasound that my cervix was fully dilated and that the membrane from twin A had protruded through the cervix and into the vagina, I had no symptoms warning me this was happening.  The next day they attempted an emergency cerclage, however this failed and the membrane had ruptured. Baby A had lost the majority of her amniotic fluid and was very low in my pelvis. I suffered through contractions for four days before they induced me for labour. Our girls were healthy and growing inside me, so the realization that my cervix was simply not strong enough to support them is heartbreaking. We had our babies cremated and have their little belongings in a special place in our home. This loss has been unimaginable, but with the support of my husband, family, and friends, there are more good days than bad right now. We would like to start trying again, but the fear of this happening again is unimaginable. The doctor has already discussed that when I become pregnant again, we will have a cerclage put in place at around 13 weeks and also start on progesterone. I have a fear that it could be twins again which my body couldn’t support, or that I won’t be able to get pregnant again or that it will take many months of trying.  I’m looking for some positive success stories of second pregnancy. Thank you. 

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    BobbieRaeBobbieRae Regular
    I didn't want to read and run - i don't have any real experience with this, but i wanted to stop by and say I'm so sorry for your loss, what an ordeal you and your hubby have been through. 
    It's good the doctors have a plan going forward for your next pregnancy, but i'm afraid i don't know anything about cerclages. 
    Please don't stress about falling with twins again - whatever happens, you now know what your body will need help with, and you'll be ready. x
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    Mumma87Mumma87 Regular
    Hi hun. I'm so sorry for loss of your twins. I lost my baby girl in March  this year (6 months ago) due to pprom. My little girl was born alive and died within minutes. They said she wouldn't make it out and breathe. I understand your pain I'm currently trying again 3dpo.. And I'm petrified of same thing repeating itself. But as much as I love and miss her i want to feel hold and smell a newborn baby that I can bring home. It sounds so selfish but I can't help how I feel. I don't know about cerclages bit jabee alot of friends who say once inserted around 12 to 13 weeks theyre really good. Sorry can't be more help then that. All I know for my future pregnancy is I have to start on aspirin day I find out and wil lbe having  2 scans a week.  Xx
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    EmJ3EmJ3 Regular
    Hi, we lost our baby boy at 21 weeks last year. I was in labour for 4 days and it was the most traumatic thing ever so I understand a little of your grief. It was a total shock. We already have 2 children so we thought we’d be ok. I was absolutely desperate to be pregnant again. To the point where it was all I could think about. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve- it doesn’t go away with another pregnancy.  I got pregnant quite quickly but mc at 11 weeks. However I was still grieving over my baby boy so I’d almost prepared myself for a loss. I found scans horrific and couldn’t stop crying. I’d had early scans because of spotting. 

    Anyway fast forward less than a year and I’m pleased to say I’ve just given birth to a gorgeous baby girl Matilda. She’s 5 weeks old and we’re so in love with her it’s untrue. She’s my little miracle and I still can’t believe she’s here! 
    I can’t say the pregnancy was easy- I was a mess and cried with worry a lot of the time but she’s worth every single tear or anxiety. 

    Don't give up- keep trying and you will get your little miracle too. Keep talking to those around you and accept that emotionally it will be hard but you can do it and it will be worth it. 

    I’m sooo sorry about your twin girls and the other ladies’ losses on here. Losing babies, or miscarriages feels such a lonely grief but they will always be your babies. I still talk about my little boy now- he will not be forgotten by me. It ever so slowly gets easier but I still find myself crying now even with Matilda because she hasn’t replaced him but she has helped to mend my broken heart a lot and the rest of the families!

    Fingers crossed for you. Take care.
    xxxxxx
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