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Waiting game for babies heart to stop beating

So it’s all still a bit raw but I’m hoping for some solidarity from others who have gone through/are going through the same thing. 

Last week on Wednesday I went for a private early date scan as my birthday present expecting to see a healthy 8+3 foetus only to a 5+6 foetus with a slower than normal heart beat. They booked me in for a rescan to see how things were progressing for a weeks time. 

I then started spotting on Sunday, couldn’t be seen because no where was open to see me before 12 weeks. It got worse on Monday so I tried to go to the EPAC and was sent away as I arrived after 8:30 when they opened so they were full.

Tuesday was my actual birthday and trying to avoid dragging my toddler the hour to the hospital I decided to just wait until my private scan the next day... until about 8:30 at night when I started bleeding heavily and having severe cramps. I rang my midwife who told me to go straight to a&e. We got there and again I was sent away with no tests at all being done.

Yesterday I had my rescan which confirmed the baby had only grown by 1 day and the heartbeat was very very slow. Unfortunately they couldn’t refer me to the local hospital who would have seen me as we live just outside the catchment area so she wrote me a referral to go back to the EPAC and hopefully be seen and for some action to be taken 😔 so another day of pain and waiting in limbo.

Well after 3 hours of waiting in the EPAC today I finally had an “official” ultrasound which confirmed the foetus is still only measuring 6w rather than the 9+4 I’m supposed to be.... but there is still a heart beat 😔 

Because there’s still a heartbeat and this is the first “official” scan the dr who saw me is still treating this as a viable pregnancy, told me “bleeding can be normal” and that “i’ve probably got my dates wrong” and has booked me in for another scan in a weeks time and sent me away again.

I’m so so frustrated and heartbroken and angry that it has taken so long to be seen by someone “officially” and for them to still ignore all the facts! I can’t find anything online of any miracle babies who didn’t grow at all for 3 weeks but went on to be completely healthy and I just want this nightmare to be over 😔 

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you handle the drs when they just won’t listen or acknowledge any information that you’re giving them? 


  • Oh hun, your story is awful! I really do feel for you. Although I’m not or have been in the complete same boat... I have had dates wrong on scans a few times! 

    Private scans are not reliable for dates. (I would only trust nhs) I booked a private scan in early pregnancy. Measured 10 + 3. But I was actually 11. Went back at 29 weeks for a 4D scan. Measured a week behind on some parts and 2 weeks ahead on others. To the point they referred me to a nhs specialist. This scared me. Being so far along and worrying what was wrong with my baby. Turns out... the private graphs are not the hospital graphs and there was nothing wrong with my baby that actually measured 50% percentile not -3 that they told me!! 

    I was rushed for an emergency scan even earlier than this due to the doctor thinking I was ectopic. I measured at 6 + 3. But I was actually 7 + 4. 

    I was told by my midwife and the sonographer that at the early stage the foetus is too small to get an accurate reading. So wait for the 12 week scan to get accurate dates! At 12 weeks I got the dates and measurements and everything with the nhs has planned out since (20 week and 36 week) I’m now 37 weeks and waiting for an appearance! 

    I honestly wish you a healthy sticky bean with a good heartbeat! And hope my experience with the mix up of dates does help you in some way. Xx 
  • Thank you MissW1997 but the NHS scab just confirmed what the private 2 did that the baby has only grown by about a day in just over a week and is closer to 4 weeks behind now 😔 The bleeding is incredibly heavy too I’m just hoping that it’s over soon x
  • @Eriple I’m so sorry to hear about your awful time. Please do keep me updated on how you get on... thoughts are with you at the difficult time xx
  • Thank you. The worst part has just happened 😔 in excruciating pain but feel completely numb and empty at the same time 
  • I am so gutted for you 😔 that’s such awful and sad news. If you need to talk I’m here xx
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