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Miscarriage at 46

Hi ladies. .  I've read some of your posts and am so sorry you are going through this... It' one of the hardest things to go through...  I found out I was pregnant again at 46 and was super xcited and nervous .... Miscarriage for some reason never crossed my mind (I was concerned about down syndrome) as it's more likely to happen at my age.... When I went in for the 7 week ultrasound and heard "I'm sorry there's no heartbeat" I was devastated..  Weve been trying for almost 3 years to get pregnant again. . . Im scheduled for a D&c next week and am going through so many emotions........ Ive also had a previous miscarriage before my 2nd daughter.... Family is telling me to grieve first and if it seems right to try again.... Am I being selfish to even consider it? Is the risk of another miscarriage the same because of my age? If anyone  has any experience with this or advise please let me know.... 

Replies

  • I'm so sorry for ur loss. Recently I had some lectures from genetics and we had one about age related pregnancy problems. It is unfortunate, but with age especially after 42 chances of genetic abnormalities increase rapidly, and most of them are miscarried, there are many other issues age related which increase ur chance if miscarriage even further. So yes all u need is one good egg, but chances of mc are high. Did u consider ivf? They can screen for healthy eggs, but at this age it would have to be done privetly.
  • Hi. Thank you for replying... We did consider ivf at first 3 years ago but hubby was not 100% for it. he said "if it's meant to be it'll happen naturally ".... Just before my 46th bday is when I accepted the fact that  pregnancy was not going to happen again so it was a shock when I saw the positive pregnancy test a few weeks ago....when I found out there was no heartbeat I was angry with myself for getting pregnant at this age and felt responsible for the cause of miscarriage .... Im coming to terms with the loss now and feel sadness at what could have been... Knowing that I did get pregnant is giving me hope that the next time might be ok but I'm scared of going through the same pain.. . 
  • It is not ur fault, all u want is this little human to give it unconditional love. It's beautiful! I admire ur courage and I do believe that if it's Smth u deeply want u should try. Since u could get pregnant u can get pregnant again. I'm 30 and had 3 mcs, I blame my health every time and ask myself mb I shouldn't try anymore? But then I know I try want to offer that unconditional love and happiness to the little one. 

    I'm afraid fear never goes away. I'm terrified of bfp I'm terrified of being pregnant again, I got one child and it was very hard pregnancy mentally. Until the end I couldn't stop anxiety. But it was all worth it. I think having a little break and coming to terms with urself is what u need. That will help you with the decision what to do. 

    I wish you all the best no matter what u decide, it will be a good decision coz it will be ur own decision and it is ur life and only u know what's best for you. Hugs
  • Thank you and I'm so sorry for your losses.... I think that's the best advice, to take my time to grieve and process every emotion going through me before making a decision... 
    Thank you. . .speaking with you has helped me more than you know... 
  • I'm really glad of their was even tinniest bit I could help with, my pm is always available. So any time u need someone to listen or anything,  I'm around. I hope u will be able to move on soon!
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