Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

Where do I go from here

Hi ,I've had a week and half of disapointment,upset ,grief and confusion . I had a miscarriage at 5wks 6 days last june took me 7mths to conceive again didnt think it would happen again and went for a private scan at 7wks 6days was measuring 2 weeks behind no heartbeat a week after stomach ache for 2 days so they brought my 2week scan forward to this morning ,foetus has grown just 1 mm no heartbeat should be 9 weeks now ,hav to return to my epu again tues. I'm at a total loss ,feel useless in trying been on folic acid for a year now I even watch my caffeine intake just one a day ,I really dont know how to try again ,i hav to tell my kids I'm not pregnant again just lik last year . Feel deflated in ttc again cant keep going through this 


  • @90schick I'm so sorry to hear this 😞💓 I can't imagine what your going through and havent experienced this myself but my inbox is always open any time you need to talk, sending you lots of hugs 💓 xx
  • Thanks xx
  • I'm so sorry you had to go through this again. Most likely ur little one wasn't genetically healthy and was unable to develop. It's terrible but very common. I'm still sure u can have a successful pregnancy. Don't rush with anything give urself tine to think and accept reality and then grieve as much as u need. Only then u will be ready to see what to do next. I'm not great myself but I'm always open for a chat. Life is unfair, there isn't much we can do about it. I learned to appreciate what I already have more than anything else. It helps.
  • Thanks @MadDoda for reaching out, I'm trying to have the mindset of be grateful for what I have etc and I am ,but I'm also extremely sad and cant help but think of the loss of two children and WHY . You have to carry on as normal but are keeping this to yourself ,that's what it feels like . How are you right now ? . I feel like once you have a miscarriage or more that i almost need a succesfull pregnancy to heal again, like I cant heal untill i can fix it if that makes sense x
  • @MadDoda but I also am fearfull of more sadness x
  • You are fresh it's still ongoing it's normal to feel that way, it's a process. I also understand u, it always felt like only a child can save me. But my case is lost so yeah... You are still fine yes chances of third after two are higher but still it's considered a bad luck. So you will get ur bundle of joy, just give urself time first. I don't keep to myself, I speak up, ppl should know. It's not all pink and sex. You will be scared of every tww and every hpt u gonna take and even more of every bfp. There is nothing u can do but deal with it I'm afraid. I just had surgery for ectopic and lost my left tube. Official gave up on having second kid and going on bc.
  • Was my 7th pregnancy 
  • @MadDoda I also understand you and know how hard you must of tried and gone through all that, also I understand that sometimes people just have to come to the end of the line and think no more and each have their own limits to how much they want to try . We each have to find our own journey ,it definitely helps to speak to other ladies who have their own stories to tell because you can feel very lonely especially if you have nobody who has experienced it . At times I feel hard to even speak 2 my partner I feel he doesn't feel it the same as me x
  • @MadDoda also I've just turned 39 so havent years and years to work with 
  • Men experience it differently, my always hides but I know he suffers. They just gotta be strong for us, give him some credit. Anyway we have a little group of struggles for different reasons if u wanna join us it's good in there. No newbies with bfps and lots of understanding. It's in longer term ttc and infertility, trying and not giving up. If u ever feel up to it join us there. And I'm around if u want to talk. Eve if I have up I decided to stay and cheer on the other ladies 
  • Ok @MadDoda I will check that for sure  some time soon x
  • @MadDoda I've since started bleeding ,I knew its was coming but it's still upsetting that its leaving your body even though its inevitable . Is it normal to feel ashamed or embarrassed ,I feel like I dont want people to know as I feel that way ,sounds odd I know ,its different speaking to all the women who know how it feels. It brings comfort but in the real word it's so taboo I understand why women suffer in silence 
  • It is normal to feel that way. But it's bit ur fault u have done nothing wrong. You are traumatised, it hurts I know. But u will get through it and it's gonna be OK. 

    That's why I think it shouldn't be taboo and I always talk about it. No matter how early, it was real, yours and wanted mere than anything. Let ur emotions out don't hold back, rely on ur partner. I'm sure u will get through this. 
  • Thanks @MadDoda ❤❤
  • @90schick I’m so sorry to hear this xx
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