Medical management

Last time I was at the hospital was when they said those awful words. Sorry there's no hearbeat. This was on Thursday. Today I've been back to start medical management. Hospital is the last place I want to be. Everyone with masks on made me so uneasy. My boyfriend dropped me at the door and I don't think he knew what to say or do. Buzzed the ward and no one answered. Part of my was glad because I just wanted to go home and wake up and it all be a dream. Two other lady's was on the ward and I scanned their faces to see if I could see the same sadness. Bloods taken, blood pressure and temperature. At this stage I was the only one left on the ward. Consent form signed and the procedure done. I had to wait two hours incase of a allergic reaction. I just sat there with nurses coming back and forth through the ward. There was no signal, so the two hours felt like forever. Lower back pain hit me and the cramps started. Rised temperature caused me to shake. The nurse had to check-in with doctor but apparently it's one of the side affects. I've just got home and praying this will work because I don't want to go back and repeat the procedure. I'm scared incase I'll see the sac and fetus. My story is like some many others. The heartache is so painful and emotionally draining. Being a older mom. My chances of getting pregnant was 5%. So I feel blessed that I actually made it passed 2 months. I never forget my little bump.