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Missed miscarriage - when your partner leaves

Hi all,

I would like to share my experience, for support more than anything and some advise.

I am 32, I fell pregnant, my fiancée paid for a couple of early scans the last of which we saw a heart beat at 8 w 4 d.  We were thrilled.  

A few days later we argued- I will call this m day.  Over nothing but he gets very personal and threatens to kick me out, calls me all the names under the sun and basically makes me feel awful.

i found early pregnancy to be really emotional as in needing a lot of reassurance to which he could never give.  I found it hard to console myself so would turn to him.  However, if he wasn’t in the mood, say for a simple cuddle, he would shout and tell me that I’m slowing him down and remind me that I’m 30 odd not 11.  This would of course make me even more upset.

On m day, the argument progressed as he advised me that he couldn’t give me the level of reassurance I needed as he wasn’t capable ( I was looking for a hug).  I responded with “maybe you should think about wether you are ready to be a parent if you can’t provide reassurance”.  The shouting from him started and he demanded the ring back.  He wouldn’t get back into bed, my dog was going mental which upset me even more.  

Things got worse And he even stopped so low as tellig me that he hopes my dog dies.... so I called the police and hung up.  I instantly regretted it.  They called back and I was a mess in the phone .  

I apologised for wasting their time, he was telling me to tell them to come round.  

I was a crying wreck, I mean sobbing I my heart out from the things he said.

i started to bleed,  I begged him to come to the toilet.  The police turned up and were questioning me on the toilet as I was losing my baby trying to frantically seek medical help.  I told the police I just felt scared as he wouldn’t let me leave.

The next day, I was working from home, I looked like shit and still tried to work and do house bits but he did nothing but sit on the sofa and advise that I will be getting no sympathy from him.

i had a scan the day after next which showed a missed miscarriage.  

That evening, naturally I was upset and sobbing as the day after I bled and I did say why didNot you help Me ?

he got angry and left the house 

I went to my parents as I didn’t want to miscarry by myself.

i went back the next day to find the locks had been changed and When I called him he said that he Didn’t want to be with me and he no longer cares.

as such I am staying at my parents miscarrying as we speak.  

I am heart broken in so many levels.  I am deveatated that I lost my baby and lost my partner too.  It has made this so much harder.  He blames me I know that.

Has anyone else had anything like this and does anyone have any advise ?

Thank you in advance xxx


  • Hi @Sa-ra-h12345 I have experienced a missed miscarriage but not in similar circumstances. Firstly I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby. I know you’re grieving but I would focus on the loss of your baby not on your man because I think you’ve dodged a bullet with your partner. He should’ve be supporting you in early pregnancy and he should be now. I honestly think in time, you’ll realise you’re better off without him. He’s obviously incapable of meeting your minimal needs and I’m sure mr right will be right around the corner!😘😘😘xxx
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