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Miscarried and now pregnant again

I miscarried in March and I am now pregnant again, currently 10 weeks. I’m having a lot of anxiety so I literally can only think about it day by day and not really think ahead because then it overwhelms me with uncertainty if everything will still be fine. I just got mad at my husband because he broke the news to his friend who kind of guessed that I was, and I wish that he had talked to me first before spilling the news. We haven’t even told our parents yet and I’m freaking out about telling them too. I just feel so scared of announcing this pregnancy so much more because it was alot having to explain my loss shortly after announcing I was pregnant the last time and I just want to be able to control when and who we tell. In a sense I just wish I could stay in my own little bubble for 9 months and then tell everyone. 

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  • Sjy87Sjy87 Regular
    edited Jul 16, 2021 10:41AM
    Hiya,

    So sorry you are going through this. I completely relate as I am pregnant (will be 24 weeks this coming monday) after experiencing 2 recurrent miscarriages at 6 and 8 weeks. 

    I didn't announce until after 21 weeks and even then I questioned should I have done that  :o. I've also only bought baby clothes and no other major purchases due to just being frightened of the worst. I think I will finally start buying the crib etc at 30 weeks.

    What has helped is trying to think that the odds are our definitely in our favour and the risk gets less and less as the pregnancy goes on. Give yourself little goals to reach to such as getting to the 12 week dating scan, then 16 week gender scan (if you get one), 20 week anomaly scan and 24 weeks viability stage etc. Book more reassurance ultrasounds if that helps or don't if it doesn't. Also talk to a supportive midwife or healthcare provider as many times as you need to about your concerns if necessary. Some women also find it helpful to see their midwife weekly due to their anxiety about the pregnancy and have them do a doppler of babies heart. 

    When you start to feel babies movements it may help because its like oh there they are (but then comes the stress of thinking are they moving less etc but then you should always get them checked if this happens no matter how many times). 

    What helped me finally announce was I realized what ever the outcome it mattered to me that baby is real and I wanted everyone to know that and to know that she exists. But again you should not feel any pressure to announce, only in your own time. 

    Remember what you feel is valid, you've lost a baby and its AWFUL, but there is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel. 

    xxx


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