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Need to know why!!!!!

As some of you may know, over the past few weeks I lost my baby. I got to 9 weeks. I started spotting at 6wk 4 days and gradually over the next few weeks it got heavier and nastier. I had 4 scans over this time and they all showed a growing bean with a strong heartbeat. My hopes were raised and shattered daily, How could I bleed so badly but my bean still grew. Well, the last scan on Wed showed everything was gone. I did have a major bleed and the rest on Monday night so I think that when everything left me. I cant understand why? Most of the things I read (google can be a bitch) tell me that the the baby stops developing, hb stops, then the bleeding starts as your body knows the pregnancy wont continue. This may sound mad, but I feel that my body killed by baby. It was growing and I was bleeding. Why would my body do this? Its driving me nuts (more so) What if my body does this again? Can anyone help me? I feel so let down and guilty. Also terrified of going through this again, but so want to try again. I know you have all gone through similar heartbreaks, so I think all you ladies are my best help. Thankyou xx

Replies

  • Hi tashelby

    felt i had to reply to you as iv had near enough exactly the same as you and also the feeling that my body has killed the baby.
    I was also 9 weeks when i lost mine, i had a bleed at 7 weeks and was told that i had twins and that one of the twins had stopped growing but still a strong heartbeat on the other. i was told i would carry on bleeding for a week or so but it stopped. then 2 weeks later another massive bleed and i had a scan to see if baby was ok, but alas no heartbeat.
    this is my second mc and i have pcos, i saw my consultant privately and he said that its one of two things.... stickey blood sydrome or an overactive immune system that attacks the fetus thinking its a foreign object. i myself think its the immune system as like youv said i feel like my body killed the baby. the thing is.. the nhs only investigate once you miscarry 3 times. that is why now wev gone private.
    praps you can ask your gp for the blood tests as this can be prevented in future pregnancies

    hope that helps hun xxx
  • Hi hun,

    Please don't blame yourself! 90% of the time the baby has severe genetic abnormalities and despite the fact it seems to keep growing and the heart keeps beating it doesn't always mean that all was well. Your bleeding may have been occuring because your body knew that the pregnancy wasn't viable and did what it was supposed to do naturally. Our bodies are amazing and they work in ways that is second to none! It's very rare that your body would try to pass a pregnancy that was healthy, after all it wants the same as you do!

    Most of the time we go on to have a healthy second pregnancy, it's just a one time heartbreak! So the odds are that next time all will be fine! Please try not to worry yourself, i know how hard it is i really do but when you start ttc again you have to believe it won't happen again! Stress and worry will not help at all!

    I'm sorry you're in pain right now but it is all very raw for you at the moment! Take some time to come to terms with the situation and look after yourself!

    I really hope you feel better soon hun!
    xx

  • hi i hope you are feeling better when i had my second scan to confirm my miscarriage the dr was very nice and said there was no reason why we couldnt try again and sometimes the baby has genetic problems so the body miscarries because it knows the pregnancy cant continue i ask about my age and she said it does present a problem but loads of people will have babies in their forties im sorry not much help. i felt a bit raw after mine and blamed myself but it does get better take care x
  • Lady2188 is right - your body knows when there are genetic problems or misinformation that has occured during conception and fertilisation. I suffered a mmc last week at 11 weeks - am still heartbroken and emotional wreck but understand the body amazinbly clever and knows when something is not right and unfortunately this little bean was not strong enough. You know you can conceive which is a huge positive so when you are ready to ttc again you know you can get pregnant. MC is awful and we are still coming to terms with not being parents in 6 months time but it will happen again for us and you. Take time to grieve. x
  • Just wanted to say thankyou to all of you for your support. Day by day I am coming to terms. I am telling myself that my body behaved this way for the best. I dont know if hubby and I are strong enough to try again, the thought of another MC is terrifying. Good luck to all of you xxx
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