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OT- urgent advice pls ladies

Lambchop80Lambchop80
in Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
As I'm sure you know I'm currently going thru a miscarriage, it's a horrid experience and I daren't leave the house at the moment as the bleeding is extreme!

Anyway one of my friends has offered to come see me, which is nice except she has a newborn baby & quite frankly I'm not sure I'm in a good enough headspace to handle seeing a newborn baby. But how do I tell her not to come? Another of our joint friends visited yesterday so I can't say I'm not having visitors but I don't want to sound mean or offend her by telling her I don't want to see her adorable baby girl?

What do I do? Let her come & see how I handle it? Today is the first day I haven't cried and I don't want to start again but I'm afraid seeing this baby will set me back.

Replies

  • AmberLAmberL
    I sometimes think honesty is the best policy!

    Don't know if this friend knows about the mc, it sounds like she might do, so if she does, just tell her that you are really sorry, but at the moment you are feeling a bit unable to cope, but you'd love to see her and her daughter once you are feeling a bit better.

    If she doesn't know about the mc, it might be better to mention it to her... don't really know on this one as it's completely personal choice - other than my bosses and family, only 1 friend knows, and she's an honorary sister, and had had an mc herself 6 months before...

    Ultimately, make the decision yourself, and don't let her force it for you, if you think it will be too much, particualrly whilst you are still bleeding - once the bleeding stops the hormones start to recover too, and it's easier to cope...

    I'm really sorry for your loss.

    Best wishes
  • dominicanbridedominicanbride
    I'm inclined to agree with Amber, be honest and tell that you can't cope with seeing a beautiful newborn at the moment. I'm sure she'd understand.
    Tell her after you've recovered you will visit them but things are still very raw for you at the moment.

    I hope this ends soon for you hun, xxx
  • dominicanbridedominicanbride
    oh BE ate my reply.
    I said i was inclined to agree with Amber and that tell her you're still very raw and can't cope with seeing a little newborn at the moment. I'm sure she'll understand.
    Tell her you'll see them when you're feeling more youself.
    Hope this ends soon for you hun xx
  • dominicanbridedominicanbride
    oh BE ate my reply.
    I said i was inclined to agree with Amber and that tell her you're still very raw and can't cope with seeing a little newborn at the moment. I'm sure she'll understand.
    Tell her you'll see them when you're feeling more youself.
    Hope this ends soon for you hun xx
  • breighlinbreighlin
    I told my best friend that I wouldn't want to come around to hers cause the thoughts about the loss where very fresh and seeing children was just a stab in the back I could do without. I told her I loved her and her children and that soon I would contact her again and come out with her children again, but that just after it was to difficult.
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