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feel so lost...
hey, iv never been in this chat room b4 but just looking for some kind words i guess as today i have lost my bean 
my heart feels like it is broken in to thousands of pieces and i just wish the pain would go away. how am i ever going to get thru this, how have other people coped? im fedup of crying now and holding on to the hope that altho iv had a lot of bleeding and my tests are becoming more and more faint i could still be pregnant when deep down i no i cant stop it. why is there nothing i can do to stop it? i hate to drag up memories for people but was any1 else the same, no matter how many test you
did or how much bleeding you had did you find you still held on to impossible hope?
thanks for taking the time to read this it means a lot to me and i wish u all luck with ur bfp's xxx
[Modified by: sally881 on 06 April 2010 20:42:46 ]
my heart feels like it is broken in to thousands of pieces and i just wish the pain would go away. how am i ever going to get thru this, how have other people coped? im fedup of crying now and holding on to the hope that altho iv had a lot of bleeding and my tests are becoming more and more faint i could still be pregnant when deep down i no i cant stop it. why is there nothing i can do to stop it? i hate to drag up memories for people but was any1 else the same, no matter how many test youdid or how much bleeding you had did you find you still held on to impossible hope?
thanks for taking the time to read this it means a lot to me and i wish u all luck with ur bfp's xxx
[Modified by: sally881 on 06 April 2010 20:42:46 ]
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Replies
I have replied in TFAB but want to say again, we are here for you whenever you need to rant/cry/ask questions or even for a cyber hug.
I know your heart is breaking now and we all know what that pain feels like but I promise things will get better, please take a day at a time, an hour at a time if need be....
I am nearly 3 months on from my mc and I am still grieving for what could/should have been, perhaps I always will but I am definitely stronger (with the help of my hubs and the girls in here) and the frequency of my sad moments are gradually getting fewer. Will never forget my much wanted and planned first bean but am looking to the future now and in time you will too.
I hope your OH/DH is there for support and hugs,
Love MrsH xxx
So sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.
We all know exactly how you feel. I lost my bean in December and I felt useless, I felt like I had failed my little bean somehow. My DH had no idea how I felt, though he tried he just didn't have a clue. I could have just cried from morning til night.
I had very little bleeding tbh hun, the only reason I knew was because I had some pains so got sent for early scan, 5 weeks then 8 weeks 2 days and 9 weeks 2 days, baby never got a HB. I was showing no signs of MC naturally and opted for the ERPC so I didn't have to go through losing it myself.
I found just being honest with people helped, so if they asked how I was feeling and I felt shit, I didn't lie and say 'oh I'm ok thanks', I just said 'I feel shit, but don't feel awkward or like you have to ask me questions' and I found people were so supportive and actually asked how I really was feeling and took the time to listen. You will get loads of cliches: well at least you know you can get pregnant, you can always try again, it just wasn't meant to be. All of them ridicules but people don't realise that they hurt when they say them.
I also named my baby, called it Riley as I wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl and wanted it to have an identity cos it doesn't matter how far on you are it is still your baby hunny.
It does get easier in time, I've felt anger, jealousy, sadness/grief, so many emotions, and still do. I'm PG again now, only 5 + 3 so it's very early days, and I still feel a great loss for baby I lost in December.
You will get through this and the ladies in here are so fantastic, I could not have coped without them.
Sam
xxxx
Sadly mc is a cruel, cruel time when NO - ONE is to blame.
Never feel bad for talking about what you are going through, it really is the best therapy and people will want to be there for you.
I am currently day 13 in my month, have had 2 AF's since the mc so am confident my body is getting back to 'normal'. only hope my next BFP is not too long away.
Sending you ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
Love MrsH xxx
I'm sorry to hear of your loss
I felt exactly the same as you, i lost our bean 2 weeks ago and i cried and cried and cried and cried that i doubt i had any liquid left in me to cry any more. I was physically exhausted from it all.
I had a scan a week later once the bleeding had died down (didn't take any tests as i didn't have any) but in that weeks wit i did occasionally think that maybe i had been carrying twins and lost one etc etc, trying to find a glimmer of hope but alas there was none.
It will get easier but it can take it's time, even 2 weeks on i have good and bad days but the best thing you can do in those bad days is let yourself grieve and talk to your oh/family etc as they will support you.
Try also looking online at The Miscarriage Association, some very useful information on there. It has helped me.
Good for your oh to take you to the safari park tomorrow.
We are all here if you need to let things out etc.
Big hugs xx
Firstly I am so sorry for what you are going through it is truly awful thing and at the moment things feel like they will never get better but i can honestly say they will and with the help of the lovely ladies on here i am slowly starting to move on.
I too had a natural mc a month ago and am still waiting for my body to get back to normal but i know it will eventually. I have gone through all the emotions and you will too and thats ok cos its a grieving process. Just take a day at a time and keep talking. We are always here and I am on here most days if you just want a chat/cry/rant or need any advice.
Take care
Leanne xxxx