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Slow heartbeat and stopped growing UPDATE[/col
Hi girls,
I wanted to bend your ears. (also in Aug 2010)
My DH and I were TTC for 13 months; we had a chem pregnancy in June but was then told in Sept we had less than 5% chance of conceiving naturally. We had an appointment at a fertility clinic on 16th Dec to discuss starting IVF only to discover we already had a natural BFP, we were obviously elated.
I had a scan at and EPU three weeks ago as they were concerned it was ectopic, the foetus wasn't ectopic but it was only 3mm and there was no visible heart beat, they said it looked more like 5 weeks + rather than 6+6 which is what I was, but my hCG levels were 7,300 which was apparently quite high for the foetus size? I had to go back for a re-scan after 7 days.
The following week (two weeks ago) the re-scan showed a foetus of 6+2 with a strong healthy heartbeat. (I should have been 7+6). The foetus had doubled in size which was great news. The radiographer said the size would put my dates back but we should take them with a pinch of salt until the 12 week scan as the foetus could have caught up again by then and the 12 week scan will give the accurate EDD.
Anyway all has been well since then until Saturday morning when I found brownish discharge when I went to the loo. I have been having a small amount of pinky / red spotting since. (I should be 9+5 today) I'm also having cramping. A cross between period pains and sever constipation type pains?
I went to see our GP this morning and she made me an appointment with the EPU again for a scan tomorrow and signed me off work for 5 days with -threatened miscarriage'?
I really couldn't wait as I've been quite worried since Saturday so we made an appointment for a private scan and went to the clinic immediately at 11am. The scan showed our foetus to still be only 5.7mm and the heartbeat was slow. The radiographer said that the pregnancy is probably failing as the foetus hasn't grown for two weeks and that we should still go to the EPU tomorrow as originally planned.
But my baby is still alive, it has stopped growing but its heart is beating. It is beating slowly, but beating none the less... I have so many questions in my head and I hate the thought of the foetus being in pain, or slowly dying yet still fighting for its life.
I guess, I just wanted to know if this happened to any of you? And if so, what happened next? Thanks
[Modified by: Fairythalia on 26 January 2010 17:08:40 ]
I wanted to bend your ears. (also in Aug 2010)
My DH and I were TTC for 13 months; we had a chem pregnancy in June but was then told in Sept we had less than 5% chance of conceiving naturally. We had an appointment at a fertility clinic on 16th Dec to discuss starting IVF only to discover we already had a natural BFP, we were obviously elated.
I had a scan at and EPU three weeks ago as they were concerned it was ectopic, the foetus wasn't ectopic but it was only 3mm and there was no visible heart beat, they said it looked more like 5 weeks + rather than 6+6 which is what I was, but my hCG levels were 7,300 which was apparently quite high for the foetus size? I had to go back for a re-scan after 7 days.
The following week (two weeks ago) the re-scan showed a foetus of 6+2 with a strong healthy heartbeat. (I should have been 7+6). The foetus had doubled in size which was great news. The radiographer said the size would put my dates back but we should take them with a pinch of salt until the 12 week scan as the foetus could have caught up again by then and the 12 week scan will give the accurate EDD.
Anyway all has been well since then until Saturday morning when I found brownish discharge when I went to the loo. I have been having a small amount of pinky / red spotting since. (I should be 9+5 today) I'm also having cramping. A cross between period pains and sever constipation type pains?
I went to see our GP this morning and she made me an appointment with the EPU again for a scan tomorrow and signed me off work for 5 days with -threatened miscarriage'?
I really couldn't wait as I've been quite worried since Saturday so we made an appointment for a private scan and went to the clinic immediately at 11am. The scan showed our foetus to still be only 5.7mm and the heartbeat was slow. The radiographer said that the pregnancy is probably failing as the foetus hasn't grown for two weeks and that we should still go to the EPU tomorrow as originally planned.
But my baby is still alive, it has stopped growing but its heart is beating. It is beating slowly, but beating none the less... I have so many questions in my head and I hate the thought of the foetus being in pain, or slowly dying yet still fighting for its life.
I guess, I just wanted to know if this happened to any of you? And if so, what happened next? Thanks
[Modified by: Fairythalia on 26 January 2010 17:08:40 ]
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Replies
Just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow I hope the scan brings you better news & your lo is just a little slow in getting started.
Like you say a hb is a hb & so that's good & I hope tomorrow it's nice & strong again for you. xxxx
Just want to wish you good luck for tomorrow, and hope your scan brings good news.
Like Rocky I had an early scan at 8 weeks where we saw a healthy heartbeat, but the 12 week scan showed that the baby had passed away at 8+3, just 2 days after our early scan. Please don;t worry about whether the baby has felt pain - although they look big on the scan they are in fact very very small at that point and have not developed enough to feel anything.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
xx
Im so sorry you're going through this, keep strong and I hope you get the right answers soon.
x x x
I'm sorry I can't be of much help as we only had our scan at 9 weeks and our bean already had no hb but just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow. Hope you get good news. Everythin crossed for you hun. We're here if you ever need us xxx
Really sorry I can't give much advice but didn't want to r&r. I had scan at 8 weeks and 9 weeks and baby had no hb, but had grown. Like you said, it has a hb and that's the most important thing to focus on.
I really hope all goes well for you tomorrow, i will have my fingers crossed for you.
Sam
xxxx
It is obviously very upsetting, but I'm slightly relieved that we didn't have to make any kind of horrible decision to terminate (or not) an abnormal foetus.
I still feeling a bit numb and a bit matter of fact about it all. The EPU gave us a scan photo and loads of leaflets. I can't really read through it all yet. I'm going back in on Friday for a D&C.
My DH is being so gorgeous but I'm feeling a bit smothered and just want to be left alone. I know I'm being totally selfish and he's upset too but I just want to lie down, feel sorry for myself and stare into space. Not for ever, just for a day or two. He wants to cuddle and hold me which is lovely but I feel so empty and numb. I bet you all think I'm cold and heartless and I do feel guilty but I feel ??? nothing and everything.
Anyway, trying to be positive and at least we know we can conceive and can hopefully look forward to a healthy baby in the future.
Thanks for all your kind words and support
The op is very simple and I actually felt a little relieved once it was done as I could start to focus on the future.
You have to accept that you and your DH will grieve differently and that over the next few weeks you will have moments when you feel sad and emotional but there will be times when you feel more positive. If you ever need me I am here!
Look after yourself sweetie. I found it easier to keep myself busy. I also found talking to the ladies on this forum helped loads too!
Sandra
xx
Take the time you need hun & were all here for you xxx
I felt empty afterwards too, and like you, strangely matter of fact about the whole thing. You may find that you think you are coping well but after a little while feel the exact opposite! That's what happened to me anyway. I remember the night I came home after the erpc I stayed awake watching random TV until 3am. Then I finally switched it off but still couldn't sleep - I just kept staring into space. I think what I am saying here, is you're not the only one to have these feelings, so please don't think you are weird in any way.
Remember, we are all here for you.
I too felt empty as many ladies have also said.
I hope your EPU take care of you hun and as moonandstars said we are all here for you.
Go easy on yourself and remember the positive like you said,you CAN get pregnant.
Hugs xxx
I just cried when I felt like crying, smiled when I felt like smiling. If people asked how I felt, I was honest and if I felt crap I just told them. Even now , just over a month after my erpc, I still find myself bursting into tears, or just sitting staring into space thinking about my lost baby and I still find it hard to believe if I'm honest. I also got a scan picture, which helped me a lot, but hubby wont look at it.
When I was first told baby had no hb I came on here, and since then the ladies have been fantastic, I honestly would not have coped without their help and support.
If you need anything we are all here.
Sam
xxx
One minute I don't know how I feel and can't articulate it, then I'm fine and getting on with stuff, then I randomly burst into tears, then feel spaced out again.
I'm cuddling my DH then pushing him away and asking for space... ?
I chose the ERPC as I didn't want things to drag out. I just wanted to get on with it, but I'm scared of passing everything before then. The blood loss has started to get bright red, thick and heavy this evening. It is very painful and the cramping is hard to ignore. I'm not sure I want to see it? But I hate the thought of flushing our baby down the loo by accident. It's still my baby not a dead pet goldfish. It seems wrong
Did anyone miscarry naturally without an ERPC? Did it hurt? Did you see anything identifiable?
I have given birth before and these cramps feel a bit like early labour contractions. The only difference with labour pains is that that you have something wonderful at the end of it all. I've taken Paracetamol and have a hot water bottle.
We told the girls this evening, they both cried. I didn't think they would? My 13 year old was really sobbing, and my 9 year old had lots of questions... Where was the baby, was it a boy or a girl, do we have to have a funeral, does it hurt... so many things I hadn't even thought about. My DH is brilliant with them both and I forget this was his first baby and he was so excited. I feel like I've failed him. He's going to tell his parents tomorrow. My family have been lovely and sent flowers. My mum is coming down to stay with us for three days to look after the girls while DH and I have some time for the ERPC and to grieve.
I noticed my DH has already started eating Brazil nuts etc. and got his -wellman' vitamins out. But I'm not sure I want to TTC right away. I kind of want my body back to myself for a while before its invaded again. I don't mean that in an awful way, I just mean I feel broken and need to feel fixed before I could carry another pregnancy, so I shouldn't make promises to TTC until I feel healed and I honestly don't know right now how long that will be?
Oh blimey, I've waffled on probably a bit too much, sorry and thanks xxx
I had a natural mc a couple of weeks ago a couple of days before I was due for op. I had exactly the same symptoms as you with the increasingly heavy blood and pains. My pains also started like early labour pains and did get quite painful (but not unbearable - more like bad period pains once I'd taken paracetamol) and then I felt the loss when I went to the toilet (sorry tmi I know...and there's about to be a little bit more sorry) For me it felt like when I delievered the placenta after I gave birth to my dd...not at all painful or uncomfortable and very quick so there would have been no chance to see anything. Sorry if that was too detailed but thought you might appreciate what to expect if it is similar to mine,
I know what you mean about flushing it away and it feeling wrong but unfortunately I don't think there is much choice.
With regards to your OH and your girls, I'm so sorry they're going through this too. Just try to be strong for each other and try to be honest with your OH about ttc if you can. I'm sure he will understand. Just take your time and do what feels right for you and your family. Give yourself time to heal and, hopefully, it won't be long before you can look positively to the future - whether that be ttc or not.
Good luck hun xxx
Didn't want to r&r either, although the wise girls here have already said everything I would have. Just wanted to say you are not alone at all, I had my erpc yesterday after a miscarriage at 7+3.
You said you are up and down, matter of fact then staring into space, and I can definitely recognise that, I'm exactly the same. I feel that I have failed my OH too, it was his first Pg and I think he is more upset than me.
I know it's difficult, but we will get through this. Stay strong. >>
BS xx