🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options
Can I join please - i've just had an ectopic?
Hi Ladies,
Some of you will probably know me from TTc and LTTCC and I was wondering whether I could join you guys.I haven't miscarried - I had an ectopic which I had to have an emergency op to remove the week before last - but there isn't a relevent forum for that and i thought you guys might know more than most what I was going through having lost the baby.
We'd beeen TTC fo 14 months, which was 11 cycles (they're long and I've missed a couple of months) and I was 6+3 when they discovered it was ectopic. I had an emergency op the same day and they took the left tube.
My consultant had a good look around during the op and said my other tube is fine and everything good (apart from a little endo which he's going to remove, hopefully next week).
I think losing the baby has finally hit me in the last couple of days - it took a while after the shock of the operation and me being in danger too. I've been feeling quite weepy and been to see my Zita West counsellor today who has helped a bit.
Chatting to anyone who has experienced an ectopic or lost a baby would help.
I'm trying to think of a way to remember her (I'm convinced it was a she) I threw away my preg tests as I didn't want to see them, and now I regret it.
Thanks girls.
Rach x
[Modified by: Rach46 on 27 October 2008 17:12:37 ]
Some of you will probably know me from TTc and LTTCC and I was wondering whether I could join you guys.I haven't miscarried - I had an ectopic which I had to have an emergency op to remove the week before last - but there isn't a relevent forum for that and i thought you guys might know more than most what I was going through having lost the baby.
We'd beeen TTC fo 14 months, which was 11 cycles (they're long and I've missed a couple of months) and I was 6+3 when they discovered it was ectopic. I had an emergency op the same day and they took the left tube.
My consultant had a good look around during the op and said my other tube is fine and everything good (apart from a little endo which he's going to remove, hopefully next week).
I think losing the baby has finally hit me in the last couple of days - it took a while after the shock of the operation and me being in danger too. I've been feeling quite weepy and been to see my Zita West counsellor today who has helped a bit.
Chatting to anyone who has experienced an ectopic or lost a baby would help.
I'm trying to think of a way to remember her (I'm convinced it was a she) I threw away my preg tests as I didn't want to see them, and now I regret it.
Thanks girls.
Rach x
[Modified by: Rach46 on 27 October 2008 17:12:37 ]
0
Replies
I am so sorry for your loss. Of course you are welcome to chat here - there are a few girls who've had an ectopic that chat on here.
Regarding ways to remember your baby - I got a braclet with my babies birth stones on (what would have been the birth stone) so I have something with me all the time. We also made a planter for our garden and bought lots of colourful plants for it. We have two stone angels in there - one for each baby we lost (2 mc's). We've also named our babies which I found really helped and gave them the respect that they deserve.
Take care, NN xx
I hope you find some support in here, there are lots of us who have had painful experiences in one way or another so hopefully you will feel able to off load, and over time share some of your expereinces with others.
You sound like youve been through a really tough time, its obvioulsy going to take some time for you to feel better about this.
I know what you mean about the tests, i threw mine, then regreted it, then actually went to the shops to buy another a fews days later cos I knew my hcg were still high so i would get another BFP (heartbreaking really!) I 've also looked in to a thing called fertility forest with the woodland trust, where you can plant a tree for your baby, in a wood with other tree's planet by other "mums" who have suffereed mc or infertility. I thought that was really nice idea. Nik's ideas were good too, you will find something that is right for you.
I hope you dont mind me asking (as your here for support) how long did it take for them to reliase eptopic, im due in for a u/s on friday and its a strong poss, im scared. Did you have symptoms? (please dont answer if you dont feel ready)
Take Care, Gem x
We are all here for you so post away xxx
I was diagnosed as having an ectopic on 7th October after getting my BFP on 22nd September. It was the most awful day of our lives. I never got the operation, i got the Methotrexate shot and have had my bloods done every monday since. I'm down from 108 last week to 89 this week.
We can't try to conceive again for 3 months - which will be January 7th 2009 - our 1st Wedding Anniversary - A coincedence???? Fingers crossed it's a good omen!!
I had no-one to talk too who'd been through this so this board was an absolute god send, for both support and for information on ectopic. You can also get advice and there is a forum on the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust Website. You can buy a charm off there to have on you're handbag/phone to help remember you're Little One in a quiet/private sort of way but always have it with you.
If i can be of any help or support, just ask or email me - any small support or advice i could give you would be a pleasure.
Keep your chin up babe, i know it's SUPER hard at the moment - but i've heard from good authority (the lovely girlies on here) that it does get easier.
Broxi xx
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I too had an ectopic pregnancy last month, and I lost my right tube, although it did not rupture
It is a heartbreaking thing to go through, and I honestly don't know how I have got this far
Like Broxie said, you can get a keepsake from the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust (I have one of these)
If you have any questions of want to email me, please feel free
Big hugs xxx
Thanks so much for your emails.
Gem: I had discharge - only a little that was brown and looked like prune juice. Really stringy and dark (sorry prob TMI!) I was 5+6 when i went for my first scan and they couldn't find anything (they said it was a suspected miscarraige) and 6+3 when they found it although it was a big emergecy as it was growing so quickly. Over the previous weekend I'd had what i thought was a tummy bug - a really overactive bowel with diareah and constipation and all my muscles became very sore and it even hurt to wee. My whole tummy was tender and hurt to poke. In heinsight my consultant says it was the internal bleeding aggrivating everything.
I wouldn't worry too much - it is very rare and if they do suspect it they wouldn't send you away as it's a medical emergency and you're at risk. If you get any pain at all got striaght to A and E and tell them.
Thanks for all your messages girls. After seeing my Zita West counsellor yesterday i think it all came out. i was a bit worried becuase until then I just felt numb. Thans also for all your ideas. I'm going to go and light a candle, as I am religious and I always liek to do that when someone I kow is in trouble or poorly.
My counsellor suggested going to a place we like or means something to us and releasing a balloon, perhaps with messages for the baby. I'm also going to put together a keepsake box - I've emailed my consultant and asked to see my scan pics as they never showed them to us.
Broxi - don't feel sad about having the injection. I really wanted that but they wouldn't let me as they said i was too far along (6+3) and the baby was growing so fast. I know its very hard but try and think of yourself as just very lcky that you still have two tubes. three months will pas in no time and it'll give you chance to get your head aroudn what has happened. I've been advised to wait three months even though we don't need to as apparently there is such a high chance of miscarraige in the first three months as your eggs won't be up to top quality and your hormones won't be back to normal, so it is best.
Kimmy - Sounds like you went through exactly the same as me - horrid isn't it. Was yours a huge shock too? Did you have an emergency op or did you have some time first? Mine was like a couple of hours later - they really went into emergency mode, it was such a shock.
Rach x
ps sorry for the really long post!
My doc sent me to the EPU and they saw nothing on the scan (was 6+2). The sonographer thought it was MC. I had to POAS again, had bloods taken and internal exam. They told me to go back in two days for more bloods but I didn't get that far.
The next afternoon I rushed to A&E in agony and they did more tests but as pain stopped they sent me home. A few hours later I was back and the pain didn't stop.
The next morning there was no pain so they kept doing tests. I had so many tests you wouldn't believe it- I looked like I had been beaten up with needles!
On the Monday (had been kept in since Thursday night) they scanned again and saw something in my right tube. They operated about 2 hours later (I wasn't prepared for that- they just suddenly sprung it on me) and released me the next day
That's my story!!
So how was your recovery? Did you have much pain?
God, poor you, sounds like you had a worse time than me, all that time in hospital.
I had a little bleeding around the time my period was due and just happened to mention it to my gp and she referred me to the epu - they didn't find it the first time, only the second as my HGC were through the roof and they couldn't work out why they couldn't see the baby - duh!
As soon as they found it they went into emergency mode and luckily we have health insurance from my husbands work so I ended up having the clinical director of women and children's operating on me at a lovely private hospital which was more like a hotel. It was literally a few hours later. I had no real pain - I thought it was my IBS and my consultant has decided I have a very high pain threshold - which bodes well for childbirth!
I haven't had too much pain since the op. It was two weeks ago today and I'm still signed off work. i felt like I had been kicked in the tummy by a horse for a couple of days but I had loads of morphine in the hosp, which I really didn't need, so i couldn't feel a thing. I'm recovering ok - the worst part was having the stiches taken out of the middle wound by my belly button. I've found it hard to accept the loss, untik yesterday I just felt numb and wanted to get on with the next one, but since yesterday, when I went to see a counsellor i've been seeing at Zita West, it's all couple out. So i feel crap and very raw, but also relieved it's coming out. It took us 14 months to concieve our baby so I think that makes it even harder in a way as we waited so long for it.
I have to have another op in a week or so to remove some endo he found - basically the same op again. That's very hard to get my head around but hey ho, the sooner it's over the better...
Rach x
We decided to try again straight away as it was right for us, but looks like AF might be here now so onto next month
It's so hard because I am thinking about Christmas presents now, and I was going to be 20 weeks at Christmas. Now I don't know if I will even be PG at Christmas at all