Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

Feel So Lonely And Depressed :(

hi. some of the girls might know me from the due in september forum. i found out on wednesday from an early scan that my baby was no longer alive. i was meant to be 9 weeks pregnant but it had died around 6 weeks image i went in for an ERPC on the thursday and was let out ofc hospital that day. since iv been home i cant stop thinkin about things! i just cant beleave for 3 weeks i had been finkin my baby was ok but it had actuali died at 6 weeks image. iv had no bleeding or pains since my opeeration which i do find kinda strange??? some people say that getting pregnant again will help you get over it and thats what i really want but my partners different.. he wants to wait for least another year but i really cant deal with that... weve argued more than ever and i really dont want to lose him aswell as my baby. ive been reading all these messages on this forum and i find them really helpful but also gutting that other people are going through what i am now.. its the hardest thing in the world getting over this. if anyone can offer me any advice or help then i would love 2 hear please! take care all xxx

Replies

  • Hi Yummymummy, so sorry to hear about your mc. I had a mmc which i found out about at my 12 week scan, my baby had died at 9 weeks. I had an ERPC on 13th Feb but I am still bleeing abit. The emotional pain is the worse thing I have ever experienced and I am still finding it very hard. It is important you talk to people and get your emotions out but try to believe that things will get easier as time goes on. I have deicded to get a piece of jewelery to wear to remind me of my lost baby and other people plant bushes or trees.

    This forum is agreat place to come on and vent your feelings, you can say anything you want to hear and we will all understand. For me this place has really really helped me comes to terms with my loss. I find it very hard to talk to people who have not experienced a mc.

    Sorry to hear about your partner but perhaps it is because it has only just happened. It is such early days and men deal with things in different ways, my hubbie hates to talk about his feelings and bottles things up. He may be scared to try again but doesnt want to admit it. Perhaps the best thing to do is just to drop it for now and give him few weeks to grieve, then he may start to be more open to the idea. I dont know if he is the same but my partner digs his heels in if he doesnt want to do something and it just gets harder and harder.

    Take care and look after yourself

    Jacqui
    xx
  • Hi, Im from due in sep as well (there seems to be lots of us which isnt good). I had an early scan at 6+5 to be told the heartrate wasnt very good, and then a repeat scan at 7+5 where I learnt my baby had died. I had a d&c 2 days later. only had minimal spotting for about 9 days, but quite a bit of pain for the first 7 of them. physically everything has settled down now (its been 17 days since the d&c). emotionally i was very down at the start, and gradually had more good days. since ive stopped bleeding and me and hubby decided to name our baby etc, ive been feeling much more positive. i still have bad moments and im sure at certain dates i will have down days (ie. when i should have been going for my 12weeks scan etc).

    Not sure what to say about your partner. i agree with jacquid though, maybe he is just finding it really stressful and upsetting at the moment and he needs more time to grieve. I know when I first found out we had lost our baby, i wanted to try again asap but at the same time just didnt feel ready to. maybe he is just scared it will happen again. give him a bit of time. talk to him about the baby you lost and help each other come to terms with that, and hopefully given some time he will start to think differently.

    like jacquid said, this is a great place to come and vent your feelings, or ask for advice. the ladies here are so lovely, and have really helped me.

    xxx
  • Hi hun,

    are you feeling any better today? I too am having dicussions with my hubby about when to start TTC again as we have recieved so much conflicting advice and it's juts so hard to work out out what to do for the best.

    Sending you lots of hugs

    xxx
  • hi girls thanks for your kind words image i love bein on this website cos your all so lovely and its the only thing keeping me going,...jacquid about what you said with your partner bottling up.. mines exactly the same.. iv seen him cry once and thats when i told him. hes trying to stay strong for both our sakes but i just need him to talk 2 me. i went back to work 2day and cos i work in retail it was so hard seeing the mums come in with there babies. something ive gota deal with though! im hoping my partner will change his mind in couple of months. even though the baby wasnt planned we had emotionally prepared ourselves and were happy until this happened so i just cant understand why hes suddenly changed his mind and wants 2 wait image i will give him time tho cos i know il only push him away if i keep on! i hope everyones feeling ok! its the hardest thing iv ever had 2 go through and my thoughts are with you all! we all need to meet up for tea and biscuits haha! that would be great! speak soon lovelys xxx
  • Hi yummymummy its hard when our men dont talk isnt it? My hubbie hasnt cried in front of me at all (i have never seen him cry in the 11 years we have been together!) but i know that I have been to bed early some days and he has sat by himself and cried! It breaks my heart he wont cry with me but he said he just cant cry with me. Your partner is probably really worried about you and just wants to protect you.

    Take care

    Jacqui
    xx

  • Hi yummymummy i know exactly how you feel!
    last year i had a mmc in june then OH said we could try again after my first cycle so i was excited, tried again in the july and was preg again by end of july but sadly lost that baby too in september.
    6 months on and i still really really want a baby, its all i think about from the moment i wake up till the moment i go to sleep, i even dream about babies sometimes!!
    My OH doesnt feel quite the same as me and wants to wait a while till we try again which im not coping with very well. We argue loads and i always threaten to leave him...I know this is a very nasty thing to say and i never would but i just get so angry and upset with him, something he can give me and he wont share!
    Its so hard isnt it image
    Emma xxx
  • yeah its really hard! weve argued so much and now hes saying itl be a couple of years before he wants kids! im just so angry! i love him so much but i just think do i wana be with sum1 who doesnt want the same as me. he doesnt beleve in marriage either so basically if i stay with him i gota wait for baby and neva get married! great! i feel like screaming and crying at same time! 2days been the hardest day yet iswel.. i work on a childrenswear floor at work and i couldnt cope 2day seeing mums with there babies! i know how your feeling though i really do image xx
  • So sorry Yummymummy, im sending you big hugs

    Jacqui
    xx
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