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Does anyone else feel as un-Christmasy as I do?
Hi guys
Im new to this site and only joined last Saturday on my baby is due in July 2010.
I miscarried Tuesday after having had an early scan the day before and seeing baby. My hubby and I feel so devastated and wretched. We are due to go to my sister in lawas for Christmas - she is 18 weeks pregnant. Iwant to be more cheery as I dont want to ruin her Christmas and I also have an 11 year old son who is so looking forward to this family Christmas but i just cant cope with it all at the moment.
Im new to this site and only joined last Saturday on my baby is due in July 2010.
I miscarried Tuesday after having had an early scan the day before and seeing baby. My hubby and I feel so devastated and wretched. We are due to go to my sister in lawas for Christmas - she is 18 weeks pregnant. Iwant to be more cheery as I dont want to ruin her Christmas and I also have an 11 year old son who is so looking forward to this family Christmas but i just cant cope with it all at the moment.
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So sorry to hear of your loss.
I am thinking I can just about cope with Christmas and my mc was 4 wks ago, so i really sympathise. I'm hoping that Christmas and seeing all the family will keep me busy and help me to think of other things, but you will need time to deal with your loss first.
Sending you love & (((hugs))) to help you through this difficult time.
nettie x
So sorry for your loss hun. I'm feeling exactly the same, we have a few family partys to go to but by far the part I dread the most is Christmas day, I have 9 neices and nephews that are all coming up to my house (it's a tradition sort of thing) my sisters youngest is only 4 months old and is such a gorgeous bundle of giggles, but everytime I hold him or even see him now I well up xx
[Modified by: Huni on December 17, 2009 09:11 PM]
its our first xmas as marrieds and so far hubby hasnt got single pressie. I must try and get some motivation from somewher.e
I just want this xmas to quickly pass and concentrate on next year and lots of baby dust!
Went to see my sister in law Friday to break the ice - found it easier than I imagined it would be but got home and broke down - thought I was doing so well!
Went Christmas shopping Saturday with hubby and son - was a trauma as all we seemed to notice were new born babes!
I think we are coming to terms with our loss but excrutiatingly slowly - no longer waking up filled with dread and heavy load but moments in day when it comes crashing back.
I hope that you all have as good a Christmas as possible. New fresh year with us soon so sending you lots of baby dust xx
Big hugs to you all and Nettie xx
We 'need' to go to the inlaws for christmas. It is kinda a tradition, which is a pain, because it is also my birthday, so I have to reschedule that. It is our first christmas for our little boy, which we should be exited about. But all I can think of is that I would have had my scan around christmas. (20 week scan) I have been very teary over the last week and the last thing I want to do is celibrate something.
We went there yesterday and I actually spend quite a bit of time upstairs crying. Not that anyone noticed. The same people will be there friday. Luckly I have an escape plan. We won't be going there till about 1 in the afternoon, instead of early morning. And Michael needs to be in bed by 7 in the evening, so I will drive home with Michael to put him to bed somewhere after 6. My oh wants us to stay over at the inlaws, but I don't know how I can do that without breaking down. They all know about my miscarriage (except two people) but only MIL has asked me how I was, the others try to ignore it. I know they mean well, but it is worse if the subject will be avoided.
I set FIL straight though sunday, no more children, maybe he know understands that for me it is not over yet and I do not want to think happy thoughts yet.
So needless to say, I am not looking forward to christmas. I unwrapped all Michaels presents and put them back in his future toy box. Not sure if I am gonna give it to him, he will only really be awake for 3 hours, of which at least 1.5 will be diner. So not sure it will be all to much for him. Oh, and everyone around us seem to announce pregnancy's. Friends from real life and from online all seem to be getting pregnant. And I just can not be happy for them. I can't. I feel awefull and terrible, but I can not read the messages and be happy for them.
My booking in appointment was today or rather it wasnt so its a hard day for me. Hubby back at work today and son on xbox most of day so it really has been quite lonely.
I really hope that you do enjoy the Christmas period hon - im going to find it a hard couple of days as staying over SIL and BIL family will all be there too - dont know them very well but cant help but think there will be a fair amount of baby talk going on. Just hope SIL doesnt get too many baby bits bought for her [selfish aint it] but like you say cant be jumping for joy for her even though love her to bits and sooo happy she is expecting as its taken her a while to ge there.
I also have a friend who is around 26 weeks and was supposed to meeting up for a pre Christmas catch up meal but dont feel up to seeing her just yet as its still too raw for me.
Am off to hospital for follow up EPA scan on Wendesday so from that point i hope to have a little closure as currently im still thinking what if the baby did survive all the bleeding as is hanging in there! I know its fool hardy as im sure its not but one way or another i will know.
Michael will be none the wiser regards Christmas gifts but will pick up if you arent happy hon. Im sending you a hug to help you cope and to wish you a happy birthday - its mine 29th and not going to be the birthday i hoped for but we must carry on so im told!
xxx
It is so difficult, wish we all could cancel it. But I know if I cancel it, I will feel sorry for myself the entire day, rather than just having my moments were I feel sorry for myself. And that will not be for the best either.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
I really feel for you.
I had a mmc too, 4wks ago.
It is devestating and will take a long time to come to terms with. It is so awful that any woman has to go through this heartache.
I have found the ladies on this site really supportive. I have found great comfort from sharing how I'm feeling and knowing that I'm not alone.
I'm really sorry that you have had to go through this, so close to Christmas aswell. I hope you can be strong and get better day by day.
Thoughts & prayers
nettie x
Im so sorry for your loss hon. Even though us ladies here are all going through the same thing it doesnt make the pain any less BUT its a comfort to know that we are not alone in what we are going through. For myself I felt like the loneliest person in the world even though my husband was suffering just as much as me but the lovely people on this message board have been my solace and each day I feel a tiny bit stronger for it. I hope you find strength from these message boards like I and others have.
Love and best wishes to you.
Mandx