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Freaked out by consultant, didn't ask my questions!
Hi girls
Well I saw the consultant today, for what I thought was a routine follow up after the erpc. I went armed with my list of questions and had planned a nice Chrimbo shopping trip for afterwards. Didn't work out that way.
Turns out that I had a partial molar pregnancy, and that is why I lost the baby. It is caused when two sperm fertilise the same egg. The foetus then has too much genetic information and cannot survive.
It seems that I am jinxed when it comes to doctors as yet again I managed to end up talking to one who didn;t have a f*cking clue ('scuse my French). She started off by casually throwing into the conversation that if I had had a complete molar pregnancy then I would have had a type of cancer, and needed to have chemotherapy. Well that threw me for six. Then she told me that I would need to have follow up tests at Charing Cross hospital, and that we would have to wait until after those to ttc again. I asked how long these tests would take and she told me up to three months. THREE MONTHS???!!!!!!!
Then I asked her what these tests were for and what they were hoping to find out. She couldn't tell me - just kept saying that they were "a formality" and a "follow up". THEN! She threw into the mix that I would need to be monitored after any baby I ever have, even if I have three babies over eight years, to make sure the mole doesn't come back as they can contain cancerous cells. WTF???????
Well as you can imagine I was a totally mess. I was devastated, and it didn;t help that her bedside manner was sh*t. She got annoyed with me because I didn't understand what a partial mole was (the above info I have since got off the web - way more use than she was!), and then got annoyed when I read the back of a form that she gave me to read, because it described how this condition can be fatal, which obviously freaked me out. "I didn't tell you to read that bit" was what she said "aren't you listening - you only have a partial mole". Well excuse me.
I left in floods of tears, not knowing where to turn, freaked out because she had intimated that the mole may be cancerous, but at the same time not cancerous; told me I would need further tests but couldn't tell me what for or what they would tell me, and had been generally horrid and f*cking sh*t at her job ('scuse my French again).
I rang hubby in work who came home (lovely man). He went on the internet while I drank emergency tea and found out lots of information that frankly she should have given me in the first place.
So, they do follow up blood and urine tests every two weeks following a partial molar to monitor your hCG levels. If they go down, all well and good - you are in the clear. If they stay stable or rise then you may need to have a course of very mild chemotherapy. Apparently this happens in only 1% of partial moles. Then the next time you get pregnant you have a 1 in 80 chance of a molar re-occurrence, which does sound high, but if you turn it on its head 79 out of 80 women are fine, which sounds better. The only silver lining that I can find to the saga is that they would monitor me far more closely in my first trimester in my next pregnancy.
Then after hubby found that out he came up with the idea of me doing a pregnancy test to see what my hCG levels are. So I did one of my cbd's and it came back not pregnant. So that is good, cos the website said that it normally takes 8 weeks for all the partial mole cells to go away (and therefore hCG), so it looks like they have.
Apparently Charing Cross will contact me very soon to start off the tests, but having read the information on the web and done the pg test I feel more at ease and am not that worried about waiting to ttc again. I am just very angry at how the doctor imparted the information, angry that it took the hospital so long to tell me, and extremely angry that my husband and I had to resort to using Google to answer my questions. She must get paid sh*t loads of money, and she was rubbish.
And to cap it all, I got home to discover that I have got my period one week early. Nice.
Well I saw the consultant today, for what I thought was a routine follow up after the erpc. I went armed with my list of questions and had planned a nice Chrimbo shopping trip for afterwards. Didn't work out that way.
Turns out that I had a partial molar pregnancy, and that is why I lost the baby. It is caused when two sperm fertilise the same egg. The foetus then has too much genetic information and cannot survive.
It seems that I am jinxed when it comes to doctors as yet again I managed to end up talking to one who didn;t have a f*cking clue ('scuse my French). She started off by casually throwing into the conversation that if I had had a complete molar pregnancy then I would have had a type of cancer, and needed to have chemotherapy. Well that threw me for six. Then she told me that I would need to have follow up tests at Charing Cross hospital, and that we would have to wait until after those to ttc again. I asked how long these tests would take and she told me up to three months. THREE MONTHS???!!!!!!!
Then I asked her what these tests were for and what they were hoping to find out. She couldn't tell me - just kept saying that they were "a formality" and a "follow up". THEN! She threw into the mix that I would need to be monitored after any baby I ever have, even if I have three babies over eight years, to make sure the mole doesn't come back as they can contain cancerous cells. WTF???????
Well as you can imagine I was a totally mess. I was devastated, and it didn;t help that her bedside manner was sh*t. She got annoyed with me because I didn't understand what a partial mole was (the above info I have since got off the web - way more use than she was!), and then got annoyed when I read the back of a form that she gave me to read, because it described how this condition can be fatal, which obviously freaked me out. "I didn't tell you to read that bit" was what she said "aren't you listening - you only have a partial mole". Well excuse me.
I left in floods of tears, not knowing where to turn, freaked out because she had intimated that the mole may be cancerous, but at the same time not cancerous; told me I would need further tests but couldn't tell me what for or what they would tell me, and had been generally horrid and f*cking sh*t at her job ('scuse my French again).
I rang hubby in work who came home (lovely man). He went on the internet while I drank emergency tea and found out lots of information that frankly she should have given me in the first place.
So, they do follow up blood and urine tests every two weeks following a partial molar to monitor your hCG levels. If they go down, all well and good - you are in the clear. If they stay stable or rise then you may need to have a course of very mild chemotherapy. Apparently this happens in only 1% of partial moles. Then the next time you get pregnant you have a 1 in 80 chance of a molar re-occurrence, which does sound high, but if you turn it on its head 79 out of 80 women are fine, which sounds better. The only silver lining that I can find to the saga is that they would monitor me far more closely in my first trimester in my next pregnancy.
Then after hubby found that out he came up with the idea of me doing a pregnancy test to see what my hCG levels are. So I did one of my cbd's and it came back not pregnant. So that is good, cos the website said that it normally takes 8 weeks for all the partial mole cells to go away (and therefore hCG), so it looks like they have.
Apparently Charing Cross will contact me very soon to start off the tests, but having read the information on the web and done the pg test I feel more at ease and am not that worried about waiting to ttc again. I am just very angry at how the doctor imparted the information, angry that it took the hospital so long to tell me, and extremely angry that my husband and I had to resort to using Google to answer my questions. She must get paid sh*t loads of money, and she was rubbish.
And to cap it all, I got home to discover that I have got my period one week early. Nice.
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Replies
That doctor sounds absolutely awful, is there a complaints procedure you could follow? At a time like this it's so important to feel looked after properly... I can't believe she freaked you out like that, she sounds so rude.
If you're 'not pregnant' with only a 1 in 80 chance of this repeating itself then you're in a good place
Are you going to take her at her word and wait 3 months?
I just got back from my GP who told me to wait 'one or two' cycles after my early mc/ chemical pregnancy. I politely said I would oblige though mentally was telling him where to stick his 2 month wait! A lot of what he was saying didn't make sense anyway. He said that I probably conceived on the 9th if that's when I got a +ve test. Silly man.
I know it doesn't mean much, but when my husband went in for his operation they said the wait could be 6-8 weeks later, but they phoned him and he got in within the week. So they can work fast.
It is a good sign that your hcg levels are clearly low if even present. I will keep my fingers crossed that the hospital will contact you soon, that everything will be clear and that you can start ttc a bit earlier.
Get the wine and ice-cream in and cosey up on the sofa with hubby xx
Look after yourself and thank god it was partial. Take care x
I'd ring your GP - ideally one that's good on fertility etc or at least sympathetic and go and speak to them, at least they should be able to explain things a bit more for you.
Have some hugs, and best of luck with all the tests and things. I'll keep everything crossed that it goes OK (which I'm sure it will).
There is someone on here who has had a molar pregnancy so hopefully she'll be able to give you some more advice.
B
(PS I love the expression 'emergency tea'!!)
Good on your husband M&S he sounds great. A very good friend of mine had a full molar pregnancy and had to be monitored very closely afterwards, I am not sure what treatment she had but they couldn't ttc for six months because of it. The reason I am telling you this is because she was in my antenatal group, her son is the same age as Neve and she has just had her second child so there is a happy ending. I can ask her for more information on her treatment if you would like?
Lottie - yes please if you could ask your friend what treatment she had that would be great.
I just can't understand why she told me this information in the way she did. I keep remembering other cr*p things she said. Like the bit when she told me that often a complete molar pg means that the man and woman's dna is incompatible, so they will never carry to full term. So there was a moment when I was thinking F*CK! then I realised and said "But that doesn't apply to me does it?" and she says, casual as you like "No it doesn't". THEN WHY TELL ME????? It's not rocket science.
I spoke to my GP who was not very impressed with her, but can't really help me until he gets the information from the hospital, which takes two weeks, so he said to make an appointment then. He was really nice actually.
Think I will do a few more pg tests tomorrow with more sensitive sticks - any recommendations? Superdrug ones are meant to be super sensitive aren't they?
Will certainly ask my friend, will do it on the phone so I can take notes!
Superdrug are the most sensitive - easily as sensitive as FR.
xxx
It is a shame that you always end up in the care of someone who just doesn't seem to care. It is difficult. Take these two weeks to write down all the questions you may have over a partial molar pregnancy. Take that list when you have an appointment with your GP.
And the more you read about it the less it seems to make sense. Sometimes it seems like it is something that only has a minute chance of happening again, then other times it's like it's some sort of horrid condition that can rear its ugly head at any time. And is it a cancer or not? Web opinion seems divided - the closest I can get is that it's like skin cancer - sometimes malignant sometimes not. Great, very helpful.
I just wish someone could take this pain and uncertainty away - I genuinely think I could cope if I was told that I will never carry to full term, because at least then I could start looking into adoption properly - it's the endless roller-coaster that I can't handle.
Don't give up hope.
Gxx
Sending you lots of hugs hun xxx
Jodie xx
I think some doctors for get sometimes that we don't already know all the in's and outs of our bodies and that we have gone to them for help! Its their jobs but its ours lifes!
I would look into making a complaint about this woman, if only to stop her being so horrible to the next poor woman who walks through her door.
I really hope you get some answers soon and never, never give up hope
xx
It's not quite the same but when I had my ectopic I had to be monitored with blood tests each week until by hcg was normal agsin so I fully understand the trauma of having to keep going to hospital, then having to waiting for the results and then doing it all over again.
The treatment that they give if levels don't go down is methotrexate. It's what I had. First time didn't work so had to have a second dose of it.
After second dose my levels went down to normal within 2 weeks. I have been told I can't ttc for 3 months starting from date of last jab so only a month and a half to go. I was quite devestated at first though.
There is varying advice re methotrexate with some people saying 3 months some people saying 6 months but my consultant says 3 months is fine.
As I say, there may be a reason specific to your case why they are saying 6 months. However, from my experienec, you have to pin them down for answers. Initially I was told 6 months with no explanation, no reason. I couldn't accept that so demanded to speak to the consultant for a reason so at least I understood. Then she said 3!!!
I do appreciate that when you're going through this you don't always feel strong enough. When I felt like this I got hubby on to it.
Thinking of you x x x
molarpregnancy.co.uk
It's a support website. I mean no disrespect when I say this, but it's very hard to find people who have had an ectopic on here or molar pregnancies and I found a specific website (ectopic trust for me) a huge comfort as was full of people who had teh same experience as me. I know we have all lost babies but the treatment processes are so different and I didn't feel quite so alone x x x
Thanks so much for your support - Mafia thanks so much for the website I will check it out. Feeling so shell shocked today. Still waiting to hear from Charing Cross. Hoping I will hear tomorrow.