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Im Gutted :(
Hi all, I hope u r ok.
I have suffered a m/c in November & again in April, it still hurts & most days I cant allow myself to think about it as its hurts 2 bad.
I already have a daughter who is 2 & she has helpt make things a little easier & im greatfull for that.
My oh and I decided to try again for another baby & i know it sounds silly (im crying as I write this) but although its only been 2 months, my dreded period arrived this morning & im guttred, heartbroken in fact, im so desperate to have another baby but also so scared at the same time.
I havent got any friends or family to talk this through with as we havent told anyone that we are trying again and i really want to keep it that way for the time being, so here I am.
I know chances are its going to take longer than 2 months & I feel silly for getting so upset but I really cant help it.
Again I hope u r all ok
Kirsty xx
I have suffered a m/c in November & again in April, it still hurts & most days I cant allow myself to think about it as its hurts 2 bad.
I already have a daughter who is 2 & she has helpt make things a little easier & im greatfull for that.
My oh and I decided to try again for another baby & i know it sounds silly (im crying as I write this) but although its only been 2 months, my dreded period arrived this morning & im guttred, heartbroken in fact, im so desperate to have another baby but also so scared at the same time.
I havent got any friends or family to talk this through with as we havent told anyone that we are trying again and i really want to keep it that way for the time being, so here I am.
I know chances are its going to take longer than 2 months & I feel silly for getting so upset but I really cant help it.
Again I hope u r all ok
Kirsty xx
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Replies
I totally understand. I had a MMC at 12 weeks in April and I get really down and upset every time AF arrives.
I am due on Wed next week and I am pretty sure we haven't done it this month. I have symptoms but to be honest I had same things last month and nothing.
I was totally gutted last month when AF arrived. I don't yet have any children and cannot wait to be pregnant - although like you wil be so scared when it happens again.
I actually woke up this morning thinking about taking time off. I know we haven't been trying very long compared to some of the other ladies on here, but it is so stressful thinking about it all the time. Think it is so hard for women as we are forced into being in a cycle every month so we always know what is going on. My OH is a 'it will happen when it happens' person. Drives me mad
I find the forum helps - I also have not really talked to other people about it as they aren't going through same thing.
Anyway you are not alone. I hope that helps a little. Good luck for next month of trying D x
Unless someone has been through an MC I don't think they ever get how you feel or your grief - which is why the forum has been a huge support to me and hope we can be for you.
Its that thing isn't it, that most of the month you think you're coping then AF arrives and it just utterly depresses you and gets you down and if like me makes you think of your angel more and the could have beens etc......
My MC was 3 months ago now and although we didn't try for the first cycle, we have been for the last 2 cycles........I am due AF next weekend and although part of me hopes we have been succesful this month as I had symptoms, but like Daffodilly says you can have some sypmtoms and AF comes and it is very upsetting, so although trying with the PMA, am also trying not to get my hopes up!
My hubby is very much 'oh well got next month' when AF arrives but think that's men for you - tsk
Hope you're OK hun - thinking of you xx
So sorry to hear about your losses...
I totally understand where your coming from. I had my mmc in April and it was heartbreaking.. I hope your able to talk things through with your OH coz you need to let it out gal! I thought i was coping ok but my DH suggested we go for counselling and it worked a treat. it doesnt mean you forget but it sure does make it easier to let someone else know what your feeling/thinking!
As for the AF arriving...huh...i remember my first AF after the mc...i was sooooo devastated..i was so desperate to get a BFP and i still am though DH and i are still on the ttc bandwagon and each time AF comes along i feel pretty gutted but i've learned to get up, dust myself off and try again....i think i've come to accept that this is rollercoster ride till i get the BFP!!!
I'm on CD8 and optimistic as ever that this is my month... and if not i'll still be optimistic on the next cycle (hard to do but hey...really want that BFP!)
So please dont feel bad about it.... we all know how hard it can be!
Hope you feel better! Sending you bucket loads of PMA!
xx
thank u soooo much for your replys, its been hard work latley, I miss my babies even tho they were never born.
Ive been able to push it from my mind in the past but that is getting harder, its so nice to have ppl to talk to that know what it all feels like.
I do have friends but they dont understand, most of them dont even have children.
Im very hopefull that i will get my BFP soon, im also hopeful that you will get your BFP's soon too, its just gutting that its not happening now, when I want it soooooo bad.
Im also terrified that WHEN I do get my BFP it will end in another m/c, oooohhhhh I think I need to relax a bit more, lol.
Anyway ladies thnx for your support, you will never know how much it means to me.
I wish u all the luck in the world & will keep my fingers crossed for you all.
kirsty xxxxxxxxxxxx
I had a mmc about 4 weeks ago and chose med management of it a few days later, everything is fine now, just waiting to either OV or for AF to turn up. The first would be the favourable option! Although the preg test has now only just gone positive after the mc.
I'm desperate too for to be pregnant, i don't yet have children and the mc would've been my first. I keep telling myself it could've been worse or that i'm still young, fit and healthy but it doesn't always make it any easier. I'm feeling positive about trying, and although i use a CBFM i know these can be unreliable shortly after a mc so we have resumed ttc anyways. I haven't got friends who i can discuss things with either, no one close has children yet, although a couple are trying - which makes it so much harder for me - makes it feel like a race!
Try to focus on the fact that you've already had one successful and healthy pregnancy, it is more common than people often think to have more than one mc. it's just unfortunate that some people suffer more than one while others suffer non at all. I know i will be gutted everythime AF turns up until i get my BFP - i want it more than anything in the world.
Keep your lil fmaily smiling hun. xxx
I will keep my fingers crossed for you...
Good luck hun xxxxx