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guess im in this forum now as lost baby :-( advice pls

hi. i went for my 12 weeks scan yesterday thinkinh everything was ok but the scan showed no baby, she did an internal scan which showed a 12mm sack and 6mm foetus but no heatbeat. we are devestated, now got to decide if we go for the operation or let it happen naturally, any advice? the foetus stopped developing about 6 weeks ago, had a bit of blood on fri but midwife didnte seem worried and just told me to wait for my scan.

ashy x :cry:

Replies

  • Hi,

    Really sorry for your loss! I've posted on your other topic! But I would recommend the ERPC, I wasn't given the option, but I know I would have chose the operation, because when I was told I'd MC, I just wanted it to disapear, I wouldn't have coped if I had to bled naturally! I've read on an NHS site, that some people see arms & legs, which would just be to much for me! x
  • Hi,really sorry to hear that you have lost your baby.I had a mc 5 weeks ago,my bean had died at 6 wks although i didn't know anything was wrong until i was 9 wks when i started bleeding.
    I passed my bean naturally,the pain was like a bad period pain but the emotional pain that i felt was horrendous,i felt i was flushing my baby away(sorry if tmi)and i know that losing a baby anyway is horrendous.
    I wouldn't want to go through that again and if i had a choice i feel that i would have a erpc.
    I hope this helps in some way for you to make a decision. xx
  • Hi, I am had natural mc, midwife didn't tell me how painful, just said it would be mild period pain, but felt like mild contraction that lasted hour then had lots blood then past the foteus, not a pleassant experience. but it is your choice, good luck hun xx
  • I am so sorry, that must have been a huge shock for you xx I hope you and your oh are doing ok. Can't offer any advise my mc was all natural and luckily pain free, in the grand scheme of things I got off very lightly. We are all here for you whatever you need xx
  • Ashy I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened to you too, I really understand how you are feeling as I was also in the 'Due in April' forum, and the exact same thing happened to me when I want for my scan 2 weeks ago. I had had no pain or bleeding or any other sign that something may be wrong, and was told at my scan that my baby was measuring 9+2 but had no heartbeat and wasn't moving so hadn't survived.

    I was also give the option of medical or surgical management, and after reading other ladies' experiences on here I opted for the erpc. I was really glad I chose this, as although I bled for about 2 weeks (longer than average I believe), I had relatively little pain, and had decided that I couldn't face the thought of seeing my baby as I passed it with the medical management. I was scared about the general anaesthetic as I'd never had one before, but was only under for a short time and everything was ok. There's loads more advice from other girls in the "miscarriage support" forum, and here's a link to my post about the advice I was given and my experience in more detal if you want to read it. I found it really helped to be as prepared as I could be for what was going to happen:

    http://www.babyexpert.com/chatroom/topic/52067

    Look after yourself, and give yourself plenty of time to grieve. I know it sounds like a cliche but time really does heal, and although you won't ever forget this baby, you will start to hurt less and you'll know when the time is right for you to think about trying again. We're all here if you need us,

    love & hugs, Caroline xxx
  • Hello
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I think every mc on here touches us all & we are all here for you. I had a mc at 12 wks - I was offered a tablet which speeds up the natural process and also the erpc but i decided to go it alone and do it naturally - looking back i would have chosen one of the other methods - what i saw and how i felt was quite bad and i bled for about 3 half weeks. Obviously he choice is yours and i hope you are okay whatever you decide - (((((big hug toyou)))))
  • thank you ladies for all your lovely comment, really helps being able to talk to people who have been through the same thing. im off work at the moment as just dont feel up to it.iv decided if the miscarrige hasnt happed by tues that im going to have the op which is provisionally booked for weds.how long did you ladies take off work? i just dont feel i can work knowing the miscarrige could happen at any time! me and oh have decided to try again, how soom after mc did you start ttc again?

    many thanks.

    ashy xxxxxx
  • We decided to try straight away,but my 1st af after the mc has turned up today. I m not too disappointed about it as i now know when i'll be due to ov and hopefully my cycles will be regular again.
    Hope all goes fine next week,will be thinking of you and good luck in getting your sticky bfp.xx
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