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I have lost my baby
Hi,
Can I please join in? I have put my story in Due in August. I was told on Thursday that my baby had died and I have to wait until next Thursday to have the operation. I am terrified in the meantime that I will miscarry at home before then. Has anyone miscarried naturally. Was it an horrific experience? I am still very much in shock and devastated. I don't know what I did wrong!
Can I please join in? I have put my story in Due in August. I was told on Thursday that my baby had died and I have to wait until next Thursday to have the operation. I am terrified in the meantime that I will miscarry at home before then. Has anyone miscarried naturally. Was it an horrific experience? I am still very much in shock and devastated. I don't know what I did wrong!
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Replies
I mc myself at 6+2, so not as far as you and it was OK (well as OK as it could be iykwim) It really wasn't a horrific expereince, just very upsetting.
Hun, I promise you did absolutley nothing at all wrong, and I hate to say it, but unfortunetly it really is one of those things and is a lot more common than I ever realsied (I'm sorry if it sounds patronising, it's not meant that way at all)
I found the lovley ladies on here to be a massive support to me in the early darker days, and still are now I'm TTC again. Please remeber we are here of you need us for anything at all
Sending you lots and lots of hugs at this upsetting time
xxx
Im so sorry for your loss, like Rainbow says you have done nothing wrong sadly it is just one of those things.
There is a chance that you could start to mc naturally if you have very heavy bleeding or pain I would just go to a&e or & see if they can see you, everyone has different experiences with natural mc but you may be ok till Thurs.
Eveyone here is lovely & wonderfully supportive so please do log on & have a chat when you need to.
Sending you lots of hugs xxx
Am so sorry for your loss, I too had an mc and although it wasn't pleasant it wasn't the painful experience I thought it would have been, it was far more emotionally painful if you know what I mean.
We are all here for you, please use us when you need to rant/worry/ask questions, we really are a supportive bunch.
I am sorry that you are going through this and thinking of you and your hubs xx
firstly id like to say im so sorry for your loss, i know words arnt much of a comfort to you right now but we are all here if you need a shoulder.
I have sadly had 2 natural MCs at home, 1 at 6 weeks, 1 at 5 weeks. As Laujai said everyones experiences are different.
Im sure you will be ok hun until thurs, just take sometime for yourself & try to rest up.
((((((HUGS)))))) xxx
As the other ladies said it's more emotionally draining to mc than it is painful. I personally experienced no physical pain at all when I mc'd at 6+2.
We are all here for you hun anytime you need to chat/scream/cry.
Thinking of you xx
I kept worrying that it was my fault, but from everything i've read on the internet the last couple of days its really, really unlikely. Thinking of you and your husband xx
So sorry for your loss. I think I have been in a very similar situation to you. I was also due in Aug but found out a week last friday that I had mc. I should have been 11 weeks but had a missed mc at 7 weeks. I too was told I couldn't have the surgery until the following Wed and was terrified I would mc at home naturally as the doc had said it would be very painful.
On the Mon I woke with cramps and did, in fact, mc naturally. It really wasn't as bad as I had been led to believe. I wasn't very nice - but more emotionally than physically. I went back to the hosp that day as they'd told me to return if bleeding and they were fantastic...there was no waiting etc. I was taken straight for a scan and given a bed for the day so they could keep an eye on me. By the afternoon I had no pain at all and the bleeding has been very light since.
My advice would be try not to stress about it and if you do start bleeding heavily and you're worried, go up to the hospital.
Hope this puts your mind at ease a little. Good luck and sorry again xxx
I'm very sorry for your loss. It's natural to be up and down, I am just the same - okay one minute then crying the next.
Use this forum whenever you need to, I have found it a great comfort. I found out on Monday I had a mmc, I didn't have to wait as long as you and had an ERPC on Thursday. I didn't fully understand what would happen and the girls on here were great. If you want to know anything feel free to ask, although everyones experiences are different.
Take care of yourself hun, xx
Can anyone tell me what the operation was like? I am also scared of having this done but from what I have read it has to be better than miscarrying naturally.
i'd never been to hospital before, so was quite nervous about the whole thing. I got called in for surgery about 11, and the anaesthetist put a needle in my hand to put the painkillers and anaesthetic in. It didn't really hurt when she put the needle in, just when she kept hitting my hand to get my veins to show!
I remember asking her when the anaesthetic would start to work, and she said i was slurring already...thats all i remember before coming round with a nurse looking after me. Then i was back on a ward with my husband, and just had some toast and a drink before they'd let me go.
I only took a few painkillers on Friday, and a couple of doses this weekend. I was bleeding on Friday, but its got really light since then, and i'm not sure i even need to be wearing a pad. I didn't realise how tired i would feel though, its only this afternoon i've been able to walk around normally.
I'm feeling a lot better since i've had the surgery, but it's been emotional! Hope that this helps you, i think it's helped me to write all of that out, so sorry if i've gone on a bit! xx
I went in on Thursday at 7.30am, Dh and I waited for about 15 min before being brought into the day ward. A lovely nurse showed me to my bed and told me to change into the gown she gave me. I got changed and hopped into the bed. DH had a chair beside me and we spent about 1/2 an hour reading magazines. We kept the curtains closed around my bed for privacy.
Then a nurse came and asked pre-op questions such as allergies to medicines etc, took my blood pressure and pulse then left us for a while. But at regular intervals nurses came in to check on us to see if we were okay.
At about 10am the consultant who was going to perform the op came into see me along with the doctor who had seen me on Monday (when I found out about mmc). She introduced herself to me and explained the procedure and gave us an op to ask anything we wanted to. She was very sensitive and explained things really well.
About 10 min later the same doctor came in and inserted 2 tablets into me, this was to soften my cervix. Then 40 mins later I was taken into surgery. DH had to wait in the ward for me. The hospital were so good, I had 2 nurses with me while I was wheeled into theatre, they were so lovely!
I then met the anaesthetist who introduced himself and did a good job of putting me at ease. He put the needle in and inserted the painkiller and anaesthetic. I can remember my hand feeling cold. The next I knew I was waking up in recovery with a nurse holding my hand.
I was quite weepy when I woke up because of what had been done but it didn't hurt.
I woke up at 11.30 and was brought back to DH at 12.00. They gave me tea and biscuits and monitored my BP for a while. Then they let me get dressed. I went to the toilet and saw that I had some bleeding, it was different from what I had expected as it was like fresh blood, but it wasn't bad and had pretty much stopped by the next day.
Do bring pads with you as they'll be more comfortable that the hospital ones.
I was discharged with anti-inflammatory pills and paracetamol tablets to take. I needed the pain killers for about 2 days but haven't taken any today.
I hope this helps, sorry it's quite a long post!
xx
Muffin I remember you from Due in August. I was so sad when I read you had miscarried your baby. One of the reasons why I requested the hospital scan me again was reading your experience of a brown discharge which I started with.
The hospital say the earliest day they can do it is Thursday. Had really bad cramps last night and bleeding but have not miscarried as I think I would know. I think it is ridiculous that the hospital can't do the op sooner. Apparently they can only book one lady a day. Can I ask your experience of having the needle put in your hand. I know I am being silly but I have a big needle phobia and think I will really panic. I know it can't be more painful than the emotional pain I have gone through.
When did you return to work?
I'm not sure when to go back to work either, had my scan last Wednesday, and i think i'l take all of this week off work. What has everyone else done?
Muffin, like Ellie, i remember you from Due in August. I cried so much reading your story, and then realised that i might be going through the same thing. I don't think i'd have got the scan done if it hadn't been for reading your story, so thankyou for sharing what happened. If it hadn't been for you, i'd probably still believe everything was fine.
Thinking of you xx
I may ring the hospital and ask if there is anyway they can bring the op forward but doubt it as the nurse was adament they could only book one lady a day.
I am going to return to work Next Monday if I feel ok.
I am so so sorry for your loss hun,
I mc naturally, after having the 1st tablet. I know you are scared about mc naturally - so Ill explain a bit about what happened to me.
I was 17 weeks when I mc, I found out on the wed and was booked in for the hospital on friday - but mc that same wed night. I was in a lot of shock when it happened but I had my hubbie with meand that was a great comfort. My email button is on if you want to ask any questions.
Yes, speak to the hospital and see if they can bring it forward.
thinking of you hun, and
x x x
My body kind of shut down and blocked out
The needle was fine! I used to have big phobia but then had awful absess when I was younger which meant I had to have 15 jabs a day so soon got over the fear!! The anasestist (sp) was wonderful and the nurse very calm and it was in my had before I knew. They put a canula in so they can then give you a series of injections in it without you feeling anything. I had two small clear injections followed by one that looked like milk. I remember watching it go in and then nothing!!! Are you in any pain?? If so tell the hospital thats what brought mine a day forward!
I went back to work today it was a little strange and I got a lot of sad smiles but it was good to get back to normal. Felt a little upset at 11:45 which was when I found out last Monday but a child soon diverted my attention! Thinking of you both this is going to be a much better year very very soon!!!!