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Feeling a bit lost...bad news at my 12 wk scan yesterday

Hi,

I didn't really expect to be posting on here but I suppose who does...?

I went along for my 12 wk scan yesterday, having had what seemed like a normal pregnancy - sickness, tiredness etc. Absolutely no bleeding, pains. Nothing.

My scan brought bad news, after 2 opinions and an internal HB and I were informed that the pregnancy stopped at 7+4 - 5 weeks ago.

I am booked in for an EPRC (I think that's right?) on Thursday and at the moment feel like I'm in Limbo. I don't really know what to do.

xx



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Replies

  • Hi opalfruit.

    I'm really sorry to hear your news. This happened to a friend of mine recently. I also had a mc on new years day so can understand some of what you are going through.

    We are here if you need a chat.
  • Hello Opalfruit
    So sorry for your loss.
    I also had a missed miscarriage at 12wks
    scan showed baby had stopped growing at 6 wks.
    I couldn't believe I had no idea.
    It is so sad that you have to go through this,
    thinking of you.
    sending you (((hugs))) & prayers
    nettie x
  • I am so sorry to read about your loss. I could have written it myself early november. No indication anything was wrong and was told at the 12 week scan baby had passed away 4 weeks earlier.

    I had an ERPC 4 days after finding out. I went in in the morning, they took me to the ward and let my oh be with me the whole time. At about 10.30 I went to theatre, half an hour later I woke up in recovery. They wheeled me down to a ward, got my oh in and I was out 45 minutes later. Physically the symptons stopped straight away and I felt really good. Emotionally it took me a lot longer to cope with things. Now I still have some moments, but it has got easier or better over the last 2.5 months.

    The girls here were and still are a huge support. They bring a smile to my face when I feel down. We also share some bad moments with each other, but it does feel good to being able to share it with someone. In my situation only oh and MIL knew I was pregnant, so don't really have much people around to talk to or moan or rant to as I need. The girls here listen to whatever I say and to whatever you want to say. Just moan, rant, talk away, we are here to listen and support.

  • Hi Opalfruit

    Im very sorry to hear of your loss, that sadly is the awful thing about mmc it happens & we have no idea until we go for a scan.

    Give yourself the time you need to greive after the erpc & have lots of cuddles with your hubby.

    If you need a chat then everyone here is lovely & very supportive.

    Sending you lots of hugs xx
  • Hi hun, I'm so sorry to hear your news. There's nothing I can say that will ease the pain, but just take time to grieve hun.
    Look after yourself and we are all here if you need a chat or a hug.

    Thinking of you (((((hugs)))))) xx
  • didnt want to read and run..my thoughts are with u xx
  • Thank you so much for your messages of support. It is such a terrible thing but it is of some comfort to know I'm not alone.

    It is a strange feeling - I cry but I don't feel sad, I don't really know how I feel...


    Breighlin, thnak you for describing what happens for the ERPC. I was so dazed when the doctor was explaining it I don't really remember anything. I just kept saying to her "oh I know where to go, it's where I had my wisdom teeth out"

    Thank you again and best wishes to all of you who have lived through this terrible thing yourselves

    xx
  • I'm so sorry you're here opalfruit. I'm so sorry you lost your baby.

    This forum has been a huge source of support for us all. Lovely bunch of ladies who have helped me no end x x
  • so sorry to hear of your loss. But like the others have said everyone here is a wonderful support to each other, and here to help you through this.
  • I am so sorry to hear about your loss hun, I have also recently had a mc and can begin to imagine how you are feeling.
    Please use us support/advice/to rant to or for when you just need a virtual hug.
    Thinking of you xxxx
  • i am sorry to hear of your lose, its normal to feel lost, i MC at 10 weeks baby also stopped going at six weeks...

    it will take a while for you to feel better it takes time, we are all here for you hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Hi Opalfruit

    I am so sorry for your loss. I too had a MMC in sept and had an erpc 3 days later, my scan was at 12 1/2 weeks and i was told the baby died around 9 1/2. The limbo is the worst thing as i think alot of it is shock, i felt very similar, after the initial upset at the scan i just felt numb for a few days. If you ever need to talk about anything the girls on here have been absolutely amazing, an godsend really.

    Sending you lots of hugs hunny.

    Jodie xx
  • No worries about the erpc info. I was not really listening either when they explained everything. It just went passed me. I am wondering how they can expect you to listen to it all when you just heard news like that. Here is a bit more info if you are interested.

    During an ERPC hospitals are a bit better with their policy. Normally your oh has to leave you when you go to the ward before theatre, but they let you have someone with you. (at least the hospital I was in did it for every woman who went in) They are very nice and gentle. They do run over the procedure several times during the time before theatre.

    If you feel morning sickness, make sure you mention it, you get some anti sickness tablets and they will probably give you something extra for the morning sickness. (I felt awfull with not eating in the morning and felt so sick)

    After surgery you basicly need to eat some toast, drink some water/tea and go being able to pass urine. After that you normally are being able to go home. You need to have someone who looks after you for 48 hours. When my oh had a ga he was basicly out for the 48 hours, extremely tired, forgetfull and not able to do anything. I on the other hand was my complete self. Just count on the worst and count yourself out for 48 hours.

    Afterwards I only bled heavily for a few hours. Than I was bleeding lightly for another 2 or 3 days, it stopped for a bit and than it bled a bit again. It took for me almost seven weeks to get my first period and that time was very difficult. I did not had any more pregnancy symptons and was quite happy with it. I felt awfull when I still had symptons and knew baby had died.

    Anyway, if you need to talk to someone, you can always email. I hope you feel a bit better about the erpc, I know it is horrible, but knowing something about the erpc helped me get on with things.
  • Hi hun

    So sorry for your loss. I had scan at 8 + 2 daysand told baby had no heartbeat. Had an ERPC approx 1 and a half weeks later, though my time in hospital was diff to breighlins. I was there for half 7 in the morning and though hubby wasn't allowed on the ward there was a seperate room for us to go in. I went to theatre at about half 11 and woke up at half 12 ish and was back on the ward for 1:15. I wasn't allowed home until I had been on the ward at least 2 hours, and I had to have somenthing to eat and go to the toilet. That was on 11th December and I still feel in lost. I still find myself touching my tummy like I did when I was pregnant with my son, then I realise my baby has gone.

    It helped me to name the baby so she had an identity and has helped a bit with the grieving, though my hubby thought the concept was quite bizarre, as do a lot of people, especially as I don't know for certain baby was a girl it was just a feeling.

    Anytime you need a chat or just want to vent your feelings we are all here, the ladies are brilliant and really helped me through a difficult time.

    Sammi
    xxx
  • Hi Opalfruit,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It is an utterly sh*tty thing to have to go through, but there is a lot of support on here from people who have been through it. I too had a mmc. Had a scan at 10+4 and found out that my baby had died at around 4 weeks. It was a horrible shock and I felt so many emotions. For a little while I felt stupid that I had been so excited about having a baby when there was nothing there.

    I had an ERPC about 5 days after my scan and the experience wasn't too bad. After the procedure it was more emotional pain.

    You just have to give yourself as much time as you can - it feels so hideous now but it really does get easier. Surround yourself with supportive people and make sure you and your OH look after each other.

    Sending you huge hugs ((((HUGS)))))

    Jo xxx
  • hey, so sorry to hear this, i was told exactly the same at my 12 week scan at the end of july. bean died at about 8 weeks, we'd only seen the HB at ^ and 7 weeks, and like you had no pains or bleeding, nothing. i promise it eventually does get easier, (((((((((hugs)))))))) xxx
  • hey, so sorry to hear this, i was told exactly the same at my 12 week scan at the end of july. bean died at about 8 weeks, we'd only seen the HB at ^ and 7 weeks, and like you had no pains or bleeding, nothing. i promise it eventually does get easier, (((((((((hugs)))))))) xxx
  • Hi Opal I had by D&C yesterday after discovering that my littleone had died at 8 weeks. I was meant to be 12 weeks today. I was devastated and dreaded the op but the doctors and nurses were wonderful and my hubby was allowed to stay with me all day (except in theatre). I feel so much better now that it is over and I knwo I will still have some difficult moments over the next few months, but I am looking forward to start trying again. Look after yourself sweetie and feel free to email me if you have any questions or if you want to rant. Thinking of you tomorrow.
  • I can't thank you enough for your messages. It has been such a comfort to me.

    My emotions are all over the place at the moment. I suppose I just need to get tomorrow over with...

  • Stay strong sweetheart, be thinking of you xxx
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