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Anyone struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel?
Just when I think I feel better about the whole mc situation I just do a u-turn!
As most of you may know SIL had a baby 2 weeks ago and it really hit me hard considering it was only 4 weeks since my mc. OH's family have been pestering us to go see her ever since but we've made our excuses ie. Its a 75 mile round trip!! Well OH decided to go see her tonight at his dads. I refuse to put myself through it, I can't imagine cooing over someone elses little family, especially seen as they're a pair of scumbags!!
OH has just rang to say he's on his way back and he's in tears!! I told him to ignore their pestering and wait till he felt ready but his family are such a bunch of insensitive arseholes he's been pressured into it and I'm so angry with them! He's not back yet so I don't know whether theyve had the nerve to say anything or whether he's just upset about the situation but I just feel so bad for him and angry at them!
I know some people don't know what it's like but is it really such a hard thing to try and understand??? My poor OH.
Xx
As most of you may know SIL had a baby 2 weeks ago and it really hit me hard considering it was only 4 weeks since my mc. OH's family have been pestering us to go see her ever since but we've made our excuses ie. Its a 75 mile round trip!! Well OH decided to go see her tonight at his dads. I refuse to put myself through it, I can't imagine cooing over someone elses little family, especially seen as they're a pair of scumbags!!
OH has just rang to say he's on his way back and he's in tears!! I told him to ignore their pestering and wait till he felt ready but his family are such a bunch of insensitive arseholes he's been pressured into it and I'm so angry with them! He's not back yet so I don't know whether theyve had the nerve to say anything or whether he's just upset about the situation but I just feel so bad for him and angry at them!
I know some people don't know what it's like but is it really such a hard thing to try and understand??? My poor OH.
Xx
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We were 7 months between first miscarriage and finding out we were pregnant with this one (though we had a very early mc in between). In total, we were trying for 18 months. It was absolutely unbearable and with every month we felt more and more despair that it would never happen. But now that I look back, it seems like no time at all. I remember a colleague who was pregnant and had her baby a few months after my miscarriage saying the same thing (she has a very very similar history) and I just didn't believe her ... but now I can see what she meant. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel just seems a lot longer than it actually is!
It sounds like your OH's family are being really rubbish at showing any sign of sensitivity at a time when you really need it but it's a really good thing that he's being open about his feelings. It sounds like you're pulling together really well as a couple - which is probably very small consolation but I do feel like if there could be anything 'good' that came out of our miscarriages, it was that we learned to really talk to each other and rely on each other (it was the first time I saw hubby cry). Sounds like you're doing the same.
Sorry, that turned really rambly! I'm just trying to be reassuring because I can understand where you are, and wanted to reassure you that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel!
I totally know how u feel, my friend who is pregnant and due 2 days after I was, has just announced their news on facebook and I found that extremely difficult to deal with, in fact I've hidden their updates from my FB so I don't have to deal with the torment.
I am happy for them but right now I need to focus on greiving for our baby and seeing her updates about being a mummy is not making it very easy for me!
I'm sorry that u and oh haven't had any support or sympathy from your OH's family, maybe just keep the distance from them for a while?
Huge hugs to you Hun I'm sure we will all get there eventually, it will just take time, let's hope we all get our much deserved and wanted BFP's soon!! Xxxxxxxx
We've made the decision to do things in our time now, sod everyone else!
Now alls i need is a BFP of my own please!!!
xx
Most of the time im okay but i have really bad days. I still get sad and angry and my work are not being great,
fingers crossed we get our BFP ASAP.
thinking about you. Lots of baby dust
xx
I am exactly the same - one minute full of PMA and booking holidays the next Im a miserable mess who just wants to cry.
I work in retail but moved into the finance side recently and found out that a girl i work with is pg. Same number of weeks as i would have been. I was told in a meeting and i was still waiting for nat. mc at that point and it was as though someone had kicked me in the stomach!
My parents-in law know about mc yet they havent said anything to me. Think they are just ignoring it. Also brother-in law and his gf know but again have not said anything. Not even a text to say they are thinking of us, nothing.
Oh and when hubby did tell his parents they said "We didnt think H (me) was the type to have kids!!!" and "Well hurry up because we were going to sell the stairgate and highchair but i suppose we'll have to keep it now!"
Hubby is 1 of 4 kids and the last to have grandkids for them - so we're team failure! The fact that we both have good jobs, never been on benefits, got married, done some travelling. Thats all irrelevant!
Sorry to ramble on hun! Just wanted to let you know that Ive married into a bunch of (insert own abuse) as well!
Sending you (((((((((HUGS))))))))))) (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
I'm truly suprised at how ladies who've had a mc are treated ie. Ignored or treated with no compassion. If someone on earth had died people would be so understanding and give us time and allow us to grieve but because it was an unborn baby who only lived for a very short time, we're supposed to get on with it.
This is honestly the most difficult thing I've dealt with, worse than the death of my grandparents because I've had to deal with it behind closed doors after I've been to work for the day and been to visit everybody who wants to be visited!
I actually hate bed time at the minute because I seem to have set that time aside to be upset and my poor OH has to be up early for work so
most nights I just cry myself to sleep.
I also work for family planning and we refer ladies for terminations a couple of times a week and that kills me. I want to shake them and tell them they should be jumping for joy, not ending it! Obviously I have to show sympathy, very hard to do!
I just hope that we can move over to the pregnancy after mc forum soon and stay there!! I'd honestly give up everything I have!
Good luck us!
Xx