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How do you cope...
Hi Girls,
Just wondering if anyone can offer me any words of wisdom about how to cope when your original due date comes round? Mine is towards the end of this month and I am already dreading it. Until recently every time I've raised concerns about it being a difficult time everyone has said "ah but you'll be pregnant again by then..." well, I'm not, hmph. I struggled to come to terms with the mc and don't really think I'm 100% over it now (even though it was about 5 months ago!) and am so scared it will open up all old wounds thinking about what should have been.
It seems like most people who post on here are indeed pregnant again within a few months of their mc and so probably aren't so badly affected when their date comes round (although I might be wrong about it being easier if already pregnant again!). However there also seem to be others who must have been through this - or will be soon. As I said, any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks, Bex
Just wondering if anyone can offer me any words of wisdom about how to cope when your original due date comes round? Mine is towards the end of this month and I am already dreading it. Until recently every time I've raised concerns about it being a difficult time everyone has said "ah but you'll be pregnant again by then..." well, I'm not, hmph. I struggled to come to terms with the mc and don't really think I'm 100% over it now (even though it was about 5 months ago!) and am so scared it will open up all old wounds thinking about what should have been.
It seems like most people who post on here are indeed pregnant again within a few months of their mc and so probably aren't so badly affected when their date comes round (although I might be wrong about it being easier if already pregnant again!). However there also seem to be others who must have been through this - or will be soon. As I said, any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks, Bex
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our baby would have been due in october,we plan to go out for lunch to a local beauty spot and release a helium balloon in beans name,talk about bean and cry a little too..we have got a lovely plant pot with a gorgeous daisey plant tree in it and also a matching one in memory of bean and my hubbys grandma that we buried on the same day that we had scan and found out bean had died,so i will wash that and prune the tree too.....i really hope we are PG by then i cant put into words why i would feel a bit better if PG by then but i would.
when was your baby due?xxxxx
my first due date would have been the 12th may,
at the end of april i got a BFP. Only to find out a week later it was a early mc/ chem preg.
Was gutted, So as hubbys mum was over from oz we all went to cornwall, its hubbys birthday on 13th may so we treated oursefls to lunch at jamie olivers resturant and just kept busy.
Wine helped too.
It was a really difficult week, but you do get through it.
I just hope you get your BFP soon, when are you next due to test ?
If its not to be this month then just spoil each other rotten.
Love Koala X X
My due date isn't until the 5th Jan but I am already planning to go to the beach (we live by the sea - plus we scattered my granddads ashes into the sea a few years ago - so its always somewhere I like to go and just look out too for comfort and talk too) and we'll let a Sky Lattern off and just really have some thinking time there.
We're trying again now but wether I'll be pregnant by the due date is anyones guess - got to keep the PMA!
I know other ladies have written poems for the due date, lit candles and my mum had suggested planting a plant/bush tree at time of MC that I could go to at times like due dates/b'days but I like to look out to the sea and imagine my little angel up there with my Granddad and past away loved family members
Good luck with getting your BFP soon hunny xxxx
I definitely think wine and spoiling ourselves will be high up on the agenda!! I'm torn between planning things for the day to keep busy and keeping it free in case all I want to do is hide under my duvet and hide (and drink much wine!!! Yes I know alcohol's not the answer but sometimes it hepls, right?;\) ).
Clarehair - your ideas for your due date are lovely. I really hope you get your BFP before then though. So nice that you've got a rememberance plant as well. I kind of wish we'd done something like that.
My baby would have been due on the 24th August. I can't believe how quickly its come round!
I'm not really sure when I'll next be testing as my cycles are really irregular (even with drugs to encourage ovulation). I've only had 2 AFs since my mc, one cycle was 26 days and the other 42 days which, if it were the same this month would mean AF on 23rd August - great timing huh?:roll: I will keep my fingers crossed that we will have been lucky enough to conceive this month however with things as they are its looking unlikely (don't think i've ovulated this cycle or last cycle!).
Good luck to you both and hope you get BFPs soon!
Bex x
Take care all x
Wishing you lots of luck hun x
Take care and good luck x
I'm sure the other girls have answered your question but thought I would let you know what we did.
A week ago today was the due date for our first baby, but it was also less than 3 weeks after our 2nd m/c. We both took annual leave as I knew there was no way I would want to be at work, especially as 2 colleagues have recently announced pregnancies. Unfortunately, DH was ill with upset tummy but we went and bought 2 little trees-one for each of our angels. We planted them together in little wooden tubs and put them on either side of our summer house. We were sure the first baby was a boy, and the second, a girl.
We talked a bit about how much we miss them, and how special and loved they were. I lost my gran when I was about 12, and was very close to her, and I think she's looking after my babies for me.
I don't know what we'll do in January when it's our second baby's due date, but for now it's comforting to be able to look out the window at the little trees, knowing they represent our babies. I just hope I will be pregnant by January as I don't know if I would cope if I'm not.
I hope your due date can be marked in a special way, and that you get through it with the support of your OH.
Thinking of you x
Should have had a scan yesterday and Grace's funeral is friday, this week has been tough!
Hugs, I'll be thinking of you August 24th x
Gosh i've stopped myself thining too much about this one but my angels due date is but a couple of months away in October... I really dunno how i'd cope but i've told myself that i should be pregnant by then, but it may not happen soooo.....
I like the ideas of planting a tree or rose bush in the garden to mark the day... It gives me goosebumps just thiking about it..
I hope the day goes well for you and your OH. I too will be thinking of you on August 24th.
xx
It seems everyone deals with it differently, and its definitely a very personal thing. I do like the idea of having a plant but I'm not very green fingered and if it died I'd be sad and feel like I'd let my baby down yet again!
I'm lucky that I have a very loving and supportive husband and I know we'll get through it together - I think I'll raise the subject of how we deal with the day with him at some point over the weekend.
Thanks again girls, sending hugs and best wishes to all x
I just want to say i understand how you are feeling as ive been through this stage myself and wanted to give you some words of support.
I had my MC on 2 sept last year & to be honest im still not realy over it. Like you i haven't concieved since & am now having to see gynie to get help,( this is because we have been trying for a year).
My due date was 29 April and like you i was dreading it. I couldnt realy talk to OH as he was alot more hurt than he let on & dosent like to talk about it. It was hard, i wont lie so i allowed myself time alone to grieve quietly on the day & i let off a white balloon to let my little bean know i was thinking of them. Might sound silly to some but it felt right.
I think the best advice i can give you is do what you feel is right for you on the day. If you have an understanding OH & or friend talk to them. Sometimes talking can be the greatest therapy.
Wishing you all the best hun & if you need support we are all here for you. (((((((((HUGS))))))))) xxx