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Newbie...Missed Miscarriage!

Also posted under miscarriage support as this is my first post but i just wondered if anyone could give me any advice on how long they waited after a d&c to try again or if there are any positive stories yet?

Good Luck to you all and i hope you dont mind me joining....


Hi everyone,

I hope you dont mind me joining you on here (its so sad to see how many other ladies have to go through such horrific times but i think it looks like a nice and supportive place to be besides that and i could do with some of that as i feel so alone just now)

I should have been 10 weeks yesterday (got pregnant our first month trying it was such a shock but too good to be true) i had a scan at 6+4 and saw little Poppets heartbeat which was such a relief then i didnt have much morning sickness but i felt different and that something wasnt quite right (this was a fortnight ago and only indication i had that something was wrong was a little bit of pink spotting which didnt come to anything) but i just knew....i had a scan at 8+6 (Friday 13th of all days!) and found out our little one died 5 days after that last scan at 7+2 so i had had a missed miscarriage.

We are devestated and i wanted to do things naturally but after 2 & half weeks my body showed no sign of letting go so i decided to try medical management as it was importnat for me to 'pass' my baby like you should and seeing it i thought would make it more real (i also didnt want a d&c as its an anaesthetic and there is a risk of infection and womb damage after reading about people getting Ashermans from this im mega paranoid that i will miscarry again though naturally next time however i will be even more petrified of m/c next time around anyway!)

Anyway i decided to then try medical management - had 1st tablet on Wednesday with no effect what so ever and then went into hospital on Friday and the first lot of pessaries did nothing she said my cervix was still tightly closed when she inserted 2nd lot...within about 20mins i started 2 cramp and bleed - there was alot of blood and i passed quite a few large clots and i had alot of pain so i thought that was things starting but no...had 3rd lot and was still unsuccesful so i was sent home to wait and see.....i am bleeding still but not any heavier than a period and i havent passed any more clots and i havent had anymore pain i am soo soo annoyed with my body right now was it cant even do this right now!!! Mad I now have to go in on Tuesday for a scan and that will confirm what i already know....that i will need a d&c.

I am takin a little comfort in the fact my baby doesnt want to leave me and that it must be nestled pretty snuggly into my womb and that my cervix also appears to be staying closed quite well and doing as it should so maybe physically theres no reason why i couldnt have carried my baby to term but something else went wrong however i am now scared that after the d&c my womb and cervix wont be as strong to cope. Also after everything my body will have gone through i dont know when it will be able to cope with being pregnant again and i would like to try as soon as possible....not to replace this baby as i never can and i will never forget but because we both want to be parents so much.

I lost my mum 6 months ago which makes everything even more raw and i just feel so numb, empty and alone but also angry and bitter and resentful which i know isnt going to do me any good but i cant help thinking why me and i get jealous when i see scan pics or baby bumps of young girls (my sis's friends who dont want to be pregnant or didnt mean to be) and it frustrates me that they manage so easily and yet i have to go through all of this. I know many woman go through worse than me with loses later on in pregnancy or time and time again (how you cope with that i dont know) but i just had to get out how im feeling....i just wanted this baby so much! I tried to do things properly - i took folic acid every day, cut our caffine, made sure to eat a breakfast and healthy snacks and lots of fruit and veg and drink water even though i hate it and hardly touch the stuff normally....i was also really careful with everything i ate and looked at the risks that could be involved to the baby in everything and its soo soo unfair! Sad

Anyway im sorry for going on so much....ta for letting me rant and babble away!!

Lauz x

P.s I am 24, hubby 30 and this was 1st pregnany for both of us....


  • Hi Lauz

    So sorry to hear your of your losses, it sounds like quite an ordeal for you. You have come to the right place though, you can get so much support here, and you can ramble on as much as you want. Im not going to say that it was 'meant to be' as this used to drive me crazy, and you are not the only one who is jealous at women who appear to conveive at the drop of a hat!! in some respects, life is quite unfair.

    how long have you been TTC? this is our 19th month image

    Look after yourself, and i hope you start to feel better soon.

    lisa xx

  • Hi Lisa thanks for the reply....

    Its seems to be a nice friendly place (given the sad circumstances why we are all here) it seems very supportive.

    I got pregnant in January 1st pregnancy and 1st month of trying but too good to be true - i will now by waiting til June to try again when i had originally planned to try in the first place but i am now paranoid that it will take us ages next time espec as we will be stressing about it more which we didnt the last time and if i do get pregnant again i will be ill with worry as im so scared that this is going to happen again (or a natural m/c as im worried i will get damaged during the ERPC and that things wont be as stong afterwards,,,,i really hate my body) i was so looking forward to this baby it was the most important thing to me and i want to be pregnant again so much - not to replace this one just as im despertae to be a mum espec as my own isnt here with me now!

    I am sorry you are on month 19 - it must be soo horrible for you!

    I hope things work out for you soon!


    Sorry y
  • Hey, sorry for what you have been through. One of the saddest things is that our next pregnancies will not be the lovely experience it is meant to be now. I hate my body too, I feel as though it let me and my baby down. I mc'd July last year, we are now coming to the end of month 12. The only thing I am sure about is that when it happens it will be so much more special because of what we have been through xxx
  • Sorry for your loss, yes you will feel alone, as it is hard for others to understand, but make sure you log on often and you will get lots of support from others and from reading their stories too..

    Look after each other, and take care, Gem x

  • thanks....

    Its comforting knowing im not alone as other people have gone through the same thing...and many worse, however i wish that none of us had to be on here as i wouldnt wish this on anyone.

    Thankfully i passed my baby in the end which was a shock as there was no sign of it happening and no pain - still going to have a scan tomorrow to make sure everything is out so keeping my fingers crossed that it is so i dont need an erpc now and i can start to move on physically and then tackle the emotional side...

    Its strange im sad but also relived that the baby came out and that i saw it although i wil never forget that image in my life now....i just hope i dont have to go through this again its soul destroying and i really feel for everyone who has gone through this more than once anyway i feel a bit calmer knowing that the baby has now gone,..rather than knowing it had doed but was still inside....

    Suppose my body managed it in the end - im surprised at how long it held on to the baby for and i hope that thats a good sign for the future and that this time it was just down to sheer shitty luck rather than anthing else...

  • Hi Lauz,

    I went through a Missed miscarriage in early December last year. I went for my 10 week scan and our baby had gone. We were devastated, anyway I opted for medical management for the same reasons as you but it all went horribly wrong. (Look at my earlier posts) Anyway if you need to chat as I know exactly what your going through, drop me a line.
    Katie xxxxx
  • so sorry katie its the most horrible thing to go through and im sorry that medical management didnt work for you as well.....

    Be nice to chat sometime...

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