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It's back with a vengeance
Lucas has stopped crying for about 10 minutes in the last 4 hours, about an hour in total today, and shows no signs of stopping any time soon. Feel like we're back to square one again.
Hubby was out for the evening and got back about half an hour ago and has taken him for now, but I can still hear him and feel like I just want to scream. He's ripped my chest to pieces he's been thrashing so wildly and my throat is hoarse from trying to sing him calm and my eyes are red and swollen from crying.
I thought this was gone but I was wrong and I have noone to help me anywhere nearby at all now hubby's back st work. I can't wait to go back to work at this rate. I just want to feel normal again and not have to feel guilty for putting him down screaming because I need to eat/drink/pee/pump to relactate for his benefit.
We're going on holiday on Thursday for 5 days and we're sharing with another couple and their 7 month old, and I'm now dreading it in case this carries on.
I just don't know how to deal with this. I know it won't last forever but it's just so hard to get any enjoyment out of times like this.
Nothing anyone needs to or can say, just needed to write it down.
Hxx
Hubby was out for the evening and got back about half an hour ago and has taken him for now, but I can still hear him and feel like I just want to scream. He's ripped my chest to pieces he's been thrashing so wildly and my throat is hoarse from trying to sing him calm and my eyes are red and swollen from crying.
I thought this was gone but I was wrong and I have noone to help me anywhere nearby at all now hubby's back st work. I can't wait to go back to work at this rate. I just want to feel normal again and not have to feel guilty for putting him down screaming because I need to eat/drink/pee/pump to relactate for his benefit.
We're going on holiday on Thursday for 5 days and we're sharing with another couple and their 7 month old, and I'm now dreading it in case this carries on.
I just don't know how to deal with this. I know it won't last forever but it's just so hard to get any enjoyment out of times like this.
Nothing anyone needs to or can say, just needed to write it down.
Hxx
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Replies
Hope Lucas & you will be ok soon, keep ur chin up.
(((((((((big hugs)))))))))))
jayne xx
The only thing I will say (touch wood!) is that he has been better today. I'm just thinking to myself that there will still be bad days. I also feel sometimes that I can't enjoy being a mummy because of colic.
You might find that it will do you good to get away with another couple with a baby - they could take Lucas off your hands for half an hour. Even if they haven't experienced colic, they'll know what it's like when a baby cries alot.
Perhaps ring your osteopath tomorrow and say he has had a relapse. When is your next apointment?
Sending you lots of hugs.
H xx
Try not to feel to desperate, honey - this too shall pass. Hopefully really bloody quickly!!
It doesn't help that hubby does loads round the house, but very little with Lucas. I obviously deal with him all day and overnight, but I also seem to take the lion's share in the evenings too. I never get a moment to myself really. Plus he's not really helping with the whole bedtime routine. Lucas will only enjoy baths with us in the big bath, so I need hubby to help me in and out, but he's never ready at 7, so inevitably I'm not getting him down till about 9 after bath, PJs, story and then settling. Nights were getting better even so, but I know tonight will be horrendous and I'm broken already from today.
Oh God, listen to me! Someone please slap me and tell me to stop whinging! I have a beautiful little boy and it's not his fault. I wanted him so much for so long and now I have moments where I think I've made the biggest mistake. I don't even know if I mean that.
Sorry.
Perhaps talk with hubby as well about what you need from him at the moment, it's so easy for us and our partners to get used to doing things one way but the fact of babies is that everything changes pretty regularly. We need to adapt to them and your partner also needs to adapt to what you need from him to help at that point.
I'm waffling now. Anyway, stay strong and know that this will pass.
xx
Sorry.
I could have written that myself. Please do not think bad of yourself for feeling like that. It's so difficult to deal with.
How are things this morning? How did he sleep?
H xxxx
It's amazing how much better everything seems in the daylight! Last night could have been a lot worse. He finally settled on hubby at about half midnight and we took turns from then with him on our chests. He's a lot brighter this morning, but still not taking much milk which is odd for him. Guess he's a little under the weather which explains a lot.
Did end up agreeing with hubby that instead of him walking the dig and cooking dinner when he gets home he'll take Lucas and I'll walk Willow, cook etc just to have a wee break.
Had a couple of hours out this morning to get my hair cut and get some bits and bobs for hols and feel a lot more clear headed for it and ready to enjoy my son again.
Now if I can just get him to stop hating my boobs...
I'm trying not to feel guilty about eating my dinner now and typing between mouthfuls as she is screaming!
I'm glad that things seem better today, and hopefully your holiday will be a good change of scenery. Chin up!
Just wanted to say I'm really pleased that you are feeling better about things today - you are so right about things being worse at night, especially when you can see the rest of the night stretching out in front of you.
You are a fantastic mum hun, Lucas is a very lucky boy. Have a wonderful holiday with your beautiful new family,
Ruth xxxx
I haven't been on here for ages, so you won't know me. Just wanted to introduce myself as when my baby Monty was 6.5 weeks old (he's now 8 weeks) we had a horrific week and your post reminded me of it.
We had thought that he was suffering from colic from 3 weeks of age. It was getting progressively worse. At week 7 I could no longer cope with the crying and his hitting me whenever he was awake in the day. He was obviously in pain and unable to latch on for long or sleep in the day. We were both exhausted, especially as his dad was away working. I went to the doctor to ask for referral to a cranial osteopath as we had a traumatic second stage of labour and I thought this might help. She said he didn't need an osteopath, but that he probably had reflux. I can't believe that I didn't realise this for 4 weeks as the little lamb got iller and iller!
Just thought I'd mention it in case your baby has it too. The giveaway signs for us were that when he cries he arches his back, he's in pain when he lies down (the stomach acids coming up the oesophogus) and it's better at night when he's feeding less.
I was actually really peaved with my Health Visitor as I had told her it was getting really difficult to cope with and instead of asking questions to find out what the problem might be she suggested the problem was my negative attitude?!!!
Since finding out what it was he is on medication to stop the acid in his tummy and we are keeping him upright after feeds and no longer bounce him amongst other things. I feel there is now light at the end of the tunnel. When he is better we will be able to work on establishing more of a routine, although at the moment he has to sleep and eat whenever he's not in pain, which can be difficult as he gets very overtired and resists sleep!
I almost lost it and only had about 4 days of constant crying, it is emotionally and physically exhausting. I even ended up starting to resent him. If you think it might be reflux, I would suggest going to your GP about it if your Health Visitor is unable to help, just to check. Not wanting to make you worry, it's not serious and is somethign they grow out of, but I know how hard it is to live with a screaming baby!
I've started staying with mum and dad when my partner's away and accepting all offers of help! And sleeping when he does. Our health is the most important thing at the moment, most other things can wait! This along with the medication which is already lessening his pain (and crying!) has made life seem livable again, even enjoyable!
Sorry I'm rambling on, I hope this may be of help....and you don't feel I'm giving unwanted advice.
I hope things are improving. xx