How do you balance the load with your OH?
I saw a thread on this in DIM and it's something that DH and I are struggling with so thought I'd see what you guys are doing.
My husband works long days in the city in quite a stressful environment. I am very conscious of the fact that without his job we wouldn't be in the fortunate position we are in, in that I don't have to go back to work. Because of his job I am doing all of Matilda's care night and day (with exception of the weekends when we do share the load more) and I have to say, I am shattered and (I hate to admit this) a bit resentful that he gets full nights sleep every night!
What we have tried is that he took over all night on Sat so I got one decent nights sleep but then I was tired again by Mon morning and all I could think about was how many more nights I had to get through before the next Sat night so I could sleep! How are you guys balancing things? Give me some ideas!
K x
My husband works long days in the city in quite a stressful environment. I am very conscious of the fact that without his job we wouldn't be in the fortunate position we are in, in that I don't have to go back to work. Because of his job I am doing all of Matilda's care night and day (with exception of the weekends when we do share the load more) and I have to say, I am shattered and (I hate to admit this) a bit resentful that he gets full nights sleep every night!
What we have tried is that he took over all night on Sat so I got one decent nights sleep but then I was tired again by Mon morning and all I could think about was how many more nights I had to get through before the next Sat night so I could sleep! How are you guys balancing things? Give me some ideas!
K x
0
Replies
Anyway since Grace was 4 weeks old he has done baths nearly every night (I can honestly say i havn't bathed her as much only tend to do it once a month when he's away) the deal used to be when she would wake through the night I would get up through the week when he was at work & on a week end if i'd been up more then twice through the night i would get the lie ins which usually was both days,when she started sleeping through bit more we started taking turns,now i'm pregnant with no2 i get the lie ins & DH gets up with Grace,I know i'm really lucky but just wanted to add i do all house work cooking etc so i don't sound like a lazy trout! hope this helps xo
In short, sorry I do waffle, I think what you're feeling is normal. Have you tried maybe him taking a night off you during the week too to refresh you...even if he just takes from 7 till 12...
This is gonna get easier right??
Hxx
Finley is exclusively BF apart from one feed a day. Hubby works 5 days a week so the deal is. He gets home and gives Fin his bath usually between 5.30 and 6pm. He will then cook dinner and walk the dog while I feed Finley and attempt to get him to sleep (which never ever works and he ends up down with us) We then go to bed at 10pm and hubby gives him his bottle and puts him to bed. That is then him done on weekdays. He is more involved at weekends and plays with him etc in the morning so that I can have a nice bath but weekdays he is out of the house before Fin is even awake.
Last night she was grizzling so I took her into the spare room. He has quite a long drive to work and I worry about him driving tired. I'm starting to try and express, so I'm hoping he can do an evening feed or perhaps during the night at the weekends.
I am managing to grab a nap most days, but Daisy has no kind of routine at the moment so it can be a bit hit and miss. I'm aiming to start trying at least to get a routine established (at least at bedtime) in the next couple of weeks.
DH has to go to Edinburgh all next week so I will be totally on my own with her. I'm jealous that he gets a whole week of sleep in a hotel, I think he'll have to do some extra over the bank holiday weekend!
I'm also doing all the night feeds and obviously day feeds as Michael leaves the house for work at 7 and gets homes at 7 at night. He feeds and baths him when he gets in at night and we share everything at weekend.
I must admit although he is a fantastic Dad and husband I am starting to get a bit fed up and overwhelmed that I am doing all this.
I have spoken to him tonight about this as although he is at work all day, I am looking after a little boy who doesn't seem to like sleeping in the day!
He has said I should start going to bed when he gets home from work. To be honest though, I want to see him and have a bit of adult conversation!
I just keep telling myself that things will get easier and to be honest I never realised it would be so bloody hard.
I feel bad typing this as he's a great Dad, but I am at my wits end.
H x
This is gonna get easier right??
God, I hope so renri! We did think about him doing a night in the week but he leaves the house at 6.30am and gets home at 7.30pm (on an early day!). I really don't think he'd be able to function at work after a full on Matilda night!
I should say as well I have managed to get Matilda into a really good bedtime routine and she is bathed, fed and in bed by 7pm which means we do get the evenings together but just means that DH isn't home in time to get involved in this and I don't really want to disrupt her now.
Leeann - I am liking your set up!
Hayley - I think you hit the nail on the head by using the word 'overwhelming'.
I'm really grateful I have you guys to talk to. I'd be going (even more!) out of mind without you all! :roll:
On Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, we sleep together and my husband does this 3am feed so I can sleep through. Seems to work and I don't resent him at all. Can't wait until 3 months or so when (hopefully) LO sleeps through so we can be back in the room though.
To be honest, the way I see it is that I get to be with Benjamin all day and do lovely things like baby massage and baby cinema (Robin Hood yesterday - rubbish - Russell Crowe is a d*ck!) and go for walks in the sunshine whilst Alex is out earning the money so I don't mind doing the lions share. Having said this I know that Benjamin is an extraordinarily easy baby at the moment & I am not sleep deprived which I think is really the key to everything - if this changes then we might have to review the situation!!
xx
baby cinema (Robin Hood yesterday - rubbish - Russell Crowe is a d*ck!)
xx
Let's get this right Ruth - you went to the CINEMA???! I barely have time to pee!!!! How can this be right?
baby cinema (Robin Hood yesterday - rubbish - Russell Crowe is a d*ck!)
xx
Let's get this right Ruth - you went to the CINEMA???! I barely have time to pee!!!! How can this be right?
Last week it was J-Lo and the back-up plan, much better. I can't wait for SATC2!! Things do get much easier very quickly, we have stuff planned for most days now - I'd go nuts being stuck in the house all day!! Just to show off we're going to the hairdressers this afternoon , my roots are about 3" long!! Fingers crossed Benjamin sleeps but I've expressed just in case! but Benjamin is 6 weeks now - I wouldn't have been doing this 2 or 3 weeks ago xxx
Etienne has colic and it just rules out any bedtime routine whatsoever. She cries constantly from 7pm every night and just cannot be put to bed, its awful.
Hubby is wonderful and takes her for walks every night when he gets home, he'll also help bath her,but i am exclusively breast feeding so I am on my own with that. Se is often crying til 2 or 3am so we have to take turns to comfort her, and eat etc.
I also find it hard to do anything every day, she sleeps on me, will rarely settle in her cot and cries when I put her down.
I feel so defeated, some days I can't even get dressed.
Hxx