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My baby won't look me in the eye

Hi chaps,
feeling really low and want some advice on this and if any one is experiencing the same thing.
My little boy is nearly 10 weeks and it's been quite a struggle so far as he has reflux and colic, but i've persevered with ebf. Because of the reflux and the fact that he was breech and he will only look in one direction, i went to see a cranial osteopath yesterday. She noticed that he won't track objects with his eyes or make eye contact. She says it's pretty unusual for a baby of his age not to lock onto his mother as we're so vital to his survival! He also doesn't seem to have a blink reflex if you make a move close to his eyes. She said i needed to get his fields of vision checked and i left in tears, not knowing if he can see or not. Went to the dr yesterday who said she could see the issues and now i'm waiting for a referal to a pedeatrician. I think he can see, he does look at things, but it's like he's not that bothered about what he's seeing. He doesn't follow objects and seems indifferent to toys or rattles. He will smile but not at me, only at blank walls or the sofa! If i try to get his attention he seems to deliberately look away or just ignore me. I feel like he doesn't love me as i don't get a lot back from him. It's heartbreaking really. The dr says it's very difficult to tell at this stage, maybe we're just asking too much of him, but i'm so worried. If there's nothing wrong with his sight could it be an early sign of autism? Does anyone else with a 10 week old experience this, or has gone on to develop 'normally'? Or are your 10 week old babies all smiles and eye contact?? Please help.


  • oh bless you how worrying for you , dont think he is ignoring you when he turns away he is probably turning his ears towards you instead , hope it works out to be nothing to worry about hon. does he look towards light and dark?
  • You know I replied in Baby but just want to say welcome to the April club! xxxx
  • Was just about to say to post in baby as well then saw KayeCee's post. I don't really know what to say but I know someone in baby will have experience or at least some wise words.

    What I would say is what your doctor said about expecting too much - babies develop in their own time and it might be that he is just a bit slower for now - he could catch-up and be streets ahead in a few weeks. Benjamin is nearly 13 weeks now and only in the last few weeks has he started following things and showing any real interest in watching stuff. I do take him to a sensory room which has little moving lights which he likes watching - you could always see if there is one in your area, ours is at a surestart centre.

    Don't think that he doesn't love you, of course he does, he is just so tiny that he can't express it yet.

    Really hope you don't have to wait long for your referal appt & that everything is ok.

  • Firstly, welcome to April. We're all great friends in here and the more the merrier. Looking forward to chatting to you.

    I can't believe the osteopath said that, all babies are different. My lo isn't interested in any baby toys or anything like that, he prefers walls, ceilings, the fireplace and the living room door!

    He has only just started to follow me if I leave the room. Sometimes he will look straight past me to look at something else.

    He does love you, you're his muumy. He is just too young to show you yet.

    Please try and not worry, I hope you get your appointment soon.

    Take care xx
  • Thanks for your support girls, it definitely helps. It's good to join the april gang!
  • Welcome to us April girls. I have found this forum soooo friendly and helpful, I hope you do too. Good Luck with your LO I hope you get the answers you want when you have your appointment.
  • Hi readingmole and all,

    Hope your littleone is better now and have started seeing and tracking things. Pls let me know, hows it going?

    I am feeling really low as well and want some advice.

    My little girls is over 3 months now and doesn't track objects with her eyes or make eye contact. After reading your post, I tried and seems, my girl doesn't do a blink reflex either (if you make a move close to her eyes).
    My GP is very good and considerate and is very concerned as well for my girl. She referred my to see eye specialist in the hospital but I am struggling to get an appointment before November. I am at complete loss, what to do and its killing me.

    My baby is overall healthy and is gaining weight. She can definitely see things. She starts blinking eyes as soon as I take her in the sun and in the open. She laughs loudly in the play gim and make all the wonderful noises. Once or twice in a day, she makes eye contact with me for few seconds and smiles but thats it. Most of the time, it's like she's not bothered about what she's seeing. She doesn't follow objects and seems indifferent to toys or rattles. She smiles at blank walls or the sofa! If i call her name, she plays attention but deliberately look away or just ignore me. It's heartbreaking really.

    Please help.
  • Hey Simsim
    This sound exactly the same as what i was going through. It's very worrying and i know exactly how you feel. I eventually got referred to a specialist and Zac has what's known as Delayed Visual Maturation. There's a post about this from another mum on the april 2010 forum so check that out too. Basically it means there is nothing physically wrong with his eyes, he was just slow to 'switch on'. This sounds like what your baby may have too as it appears she can see, she's just isn't that interested in it. Zac started to 'switch on' at about 12 weeks and now at 17 weeks seems absolutely fine, he has 'caught up'. so my advice is this:
    1)Try to worry, there's probably nothing wrong with her eyes by the sound of it, it's just a maturity thing. Was your baby a caesarian delivery? Mine was and sometimes this means that they are less switched on if they don't come down the birth canal.
    2. See if your GP will intervene to get you an appointment sooner. There's nothing a diagnosis of this will do but it would put your mind at rest. If they think it's urgent they can get you bumped up the queue. i think if your GP thought it was anything more serious you would already know about it, but obviously you want to be sure.
    3. Do lots and lots of visual stimulation. I know it's hard when they don't seem to take any notice but it's the best thing you can do. Does she prefer toys with noise and lights? Zac did, so I started with those. Then work up to pictures - this is what your aiming to get them to track so you know they're responding to sight and not another stimulus. Try and get some black and white picture cards (or draw your own). Move them slowly around from side to side and up and down for tracking. The Baby Touch books by ladybird are good too as they have big simple pictures. We have the 'words' one and he likes that now. I couldn't get him to look at it at all in the beginning but now he is fine, so don't get disheartened.
    4. You may want to try a cranial osteopath, especially if you had a difficult birth. Ours seemed to 'unlock' something and he progressed much better as soon as he'd had his first visit. It could have been a coincidence of course but personally i think it was money well spent.
    Anyway, you're not alone and it will probably sort itself out. If you need any other advice just ask!
    Hope you see some progress soon. xx
  • Hey ReadingMole, what a releif on getting your email. I am so glad to hear back from you. I sincerely wish and pray that my little one has only DVM. I am so happy to know that Zac has recovered and is doing fine.
    1. Nopes, mine wasn't C-Section and was a normal full time delivery.
    2. I am going to see my GP tomorrow and will request her. I know hospitals have to prioritize etc. but for me, my baby is the world. I can't sleep because of the stress and my husband is even worse. We dont have any family history of eye problems (neither his family nor mine). So I am hoping for the best.
    3. I am going to look at the toys this evening and will buy some. My girl is happy in the play gym and ignores everything else. I dont think, I have got any toys with lights and music. But as you suggested, I am going to look at some toys with lights and noise and get paper cards. Thanks for your suggestions.

    4. Cranial osteopath - My baby is just over 3 months. Can I visit now or is it too early? I always thought, these guys deal with sports injuries etc.

    Many thanks again and will update you as soon as I have one.
  • sorry to G/C but thought this thread may be of interest to you.
  • Hey simsim
    You can go to a cranial osteopath any time from birth, the sooner the better actually so it's not too early. We went at 9 weeks and it was actually her that first bought my attention to the problem. Just make sure you find one that's used to working with babies. It's very gentle - doesn't really look like they're doing anything at all but it's worth a try - at least you will feel like you're doing everything you can. Don't know where you live but mine was in marlow, bucks. Good luck.
    PS. Re: the cards you can really just draw simple shapes or patterns on white card with a black marker pen. You don't need to spend a fortune on stuff. x
  • Hey Readingmole and Junie Mummy,

    Many thanks for providing me the link and the support. Ok, I am finding about osteopaths. I drew some pictures and lines with the black marker on white papers. I am not sure, if she was paying attention to the paper or to the drawn figures. It may take time to see the results, right? Readingmole, were you talking about the same post what JunieMummy mentioned or a different one? I couldn't find anything relevant in April forum.

    I got some books and am trying to read and show it to her. I also bought few toys having very bright colours, light and music, fingers crossed, she may notice these. Hey, I am Bucks as well (Milton Keynes). Wow, its a small world. I have spoken to my health visiotr and am awaiting details to find some sensory rooms around.

    Time seem to have stopped ... but I am living in hope that soon, she will be looking at me and smiling.....

    Thanks for your support girls, much appreciated.
  • Hey Simsim, how are you getting on? Any response yet? Also another tip from the consultant we saw was 'plonk him infront of the television' - their words! I'm sure it's the only time we'd ever be advised to do this but it certainly got Zac's attention. Worth a try.
  • Hey Readingmole,

    Thanks so much for asking. Yes, there's much improvement from last week. Now everyday (3-4 times for half of a minute) , she is looking at me and my husband and babbles. Sometimes she smiles as well. I am hoping by the time, I go to see the specialist, she is perfectly fine.

    I got her some toys with the light and music, I dont think she looked at toys. But she seems to be aware of them. I am keeping fingers crossed. She didnt pay much attention to the cards and the pictures, I drew either.

    Will keep you posted. I am going to try the TV today. I was worried not to put too much strain on her eyes.

  • You could also try using a small torch to see if she will follow the light, if she's not responding much to toys. Glad you are seeing some progress though. I had slow improvements but Zac's absolutely fine now. At least you know she can see if she is smiling and responding. The TV will be fine, just don't have the volume too loud and put her at a sensible distance, not too close or too far! Good luck! x
  • Hey Readingmole,

    Thank you so much for the much needed assurance. I think she is improving, but there are some days (like yesterday), she didnt make any eye contact at all. I have noticed that when she does make eye contact, she smiles. There are enough signs for me to know that she can see.

    I am sure, she is improving but its a very frustrating and unending wait.
    Thanks, any suggestion, very wlecome. I am taking her to hospital end of the month, hoping some good news.
  • My little guy is doing the same thing! He is 11 weeks old now. Any improvement on your little one?
  • SimSim can you please update me on your little one. I'm freaking out about me son
  • Just a quick thought for those who are still experiencing this... I've just put my xmas tree up and Zac can't take his eyes off the flashing lights. If you're trying to get your baby to focus on things, I guess flashing fairy lights are a good place to start!
  • Hi simsim

    i see your post was from 2 years ago. i am experiencing exactly the same with my 9 week old son and have been beside myself with worry and stress. what happened with your little one in the end - was it DVM and did things come right? Any help will be so much apreciated. thank you, Nikki (South Africa)
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