I think im going to stop breast feeding but feel guilty

Replies

• clairol2

  Jun 11, 2010 6:46PM

  Hiya. Didnt want to r&r but wanted to say that i think you should do whatever makes you and your baby happy. I hate nothing more than people who go on and on about how breastfeeding is the best and how everyone should do it. I'm sure millions of formula fed babies are perfectly happy and healthier than some breastfed babies.
  Do whatever makes you more comfortable and happier. i dont think you should feel guilty about giving up. its just breastfeeding, its not like you are neglecting your child
  I'm sorry im ranting, i just hate that you are made to feel so guilty about it.
  All the best.
  claire and lara 10 weeks
  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  p.s lara has fed wonderfully on the breast the whole time but i wouldnt think twice about giving her formula if she needed it.
  
  [Modified by: clairol2 on June 11, 2010 11:47 PM]
  
  

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• kayssis

  Jun 12, 2010 12:44AM

  Hi lovely,
  
  I've been in a similar situation and finally an hour ago have made the decision that enough is enough and it's game over for us (posted in bim) and I feel guilty for saying it but I already feel so relieved. Ryan will be 7weeks next Thursday and we've had issues with bfing and getting him to latch on properly since day1. A week ago I was advised to express to give my boobs a break and nipples a chance to heal, I couldn't keep up with him as he's been having formula top ups since day3 due to losing too much weight but was managing two thirds ebm and around a third ff each day. Feeds became less stressful (not that he was impressed with waiting for a bottle) he was much happier and because he was full we had much more time that he was awake and contented and I in turn was happier and not in pain. Now that my boobs recovered spent the last two days back bfing and back with us both being unhappy. Having spent half an hour this morning trying to get him on the boob with him hysterical and me in tears I have finally realised that enough is enough. I'm going to try to continue expressing so he can have some breastmilk, but not on a strict 3hr schedule like I was doing as it ruled our life for the last week and I'll still offer him the boob first in the night (if he wakes up) as for some reason it was working then before and if it still does saves getting up to sort a bottle out.
  
  I do feel guilty but as a friend said only you can know when enough is enough and I feel guiltier about making him and me unhappy. I was worried about regreting it if I made this decision but my mum had told me I always will (she still regrets stopping with me after 6weeks but at the same time appreciates it was the right decision) but I've come to terms with that now.
  
  Sorry I've rambled on here but what I'm trying to get at is that I think we will feel guilty but it's the lesser of 2 evils. Formula isn't posion, it's certainly not going to do them any harm, but if it means a happy baby with a full tummy and a happy mummy then it's the best choice. Well done for getting this far, we've both given our lo's the best start we can but if you know enough is enough then the best thing all round has to be to stop.
  
  If you do WANT to persevere though I'm sure you can get advise on increasing your supply to make up for the top ups but for us I've realised now I don't want to put ds through that xx

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• Lambchop26

  Jun 12, 2010 1:21AM

  Do what is right for u & for lo. I agree with claire I hate to see ppl feeling like they are pressured into keeping it up when it is causing so much stress & it isn't doing anyone any good. I combine fed up to 8 weeks & she had been getting both from 2 weeks as she wasn't putting weight on was just off the centile chart & after the 1st 2 weeks of my nipples being red raw after feeding every 20 mins to half hour & crying at the thought of having my child enough was enough. My lo ( & me) are so much happier now & she is putting on weight.
  
  The emphasis is on u though, do what u feel is right for u! Do not feel guilty or pressured into keeping up with something that may not be working, but also don't feel pressured into formula if u don't want too. There are too many ppl out there with strong opinions on both esp bf & sometimes I don't think they look at the bigger picture.
  
  Never ever feel guilty about doing something that right for your family
  
  jayne xx

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• xCALLEIGHx

  Jun 12, 2010 8:04AM

  possibly supplementing with formula did affect your supply. just remember too with expressing your ds will be much better at getting milk that any machine.
  
  if you think you cant go on any longer it might be better for you to change.

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• TriTread

  Jun 13, 2010 2:33PM

  I stopped BF earlier than I had anticipated as well and I can honestly say I empathise with you. I cried solidly for 2 days thinking I had failed Amelia and that formula feeding would somehow damage her. It took me 3 weeks to get used to not BF and even now when Amelia (at 11 weeks) roots for my nipple, I get a little bit sad that I didn't do it for longer.
  
  However, she is happy - growing well, and we haven't seen any sign of colic (fingers crossed). So that's great.

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• Feebs76

  Jun 13, 2010 3:50PM

  you have to do what's right for you and your baby. BFing isn't for everyone. I've been lucky enough with both of my girls that BFing has been pretty straightforward and once I persevered through the first few weeks it's too easy to give up. But I know it is not like that for a lot of people and all that matters is a healthy, happy baby.
  
  Do what is going to make you and bubs happiest but, as Kayssis said, if you want to carry on, there is a lot of help and advice out there (Mrs Setter's fabulous posts on here as a starter for 10!).
  
  Good luck hon and don't feel guilty no matter what.
  
  xx

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