Forum home Archived Birth Clubs My baby was born in Apr 2010

Reality Hitting

Hubby is going back to work on Thursday and I'm terrified.

He makes all the bottles, he hands me them ready to feed Lucas, he reminds me to drink and eat, he takes him for an hour in the morning so I can shower and get dressed, he walks the dog, he tidies the house etc etc etc

How am I going to cope? Lucas won't sleep during the day for more than 10 minutes unless he's cuddled. Like this evening, hubby is out, and I haven't managed dinner yet as he just keeps crying and I canny just ignore him.

How are you ladies coping with all the stuff you need to do?

What if I can't do this? I'm so bloody scared of losing it and getting it wrong.



  • You won't I promise!!! Somehow you just get used to managing by yourself and its not as hard as you think. Sometimes you will just have to pop him in his crib/bouncy chair and let him cry while you do what you have to do - shower/eat/make up his feeds etc. It feels horrible but he won't come to any harm and over time he will be happier on his own so it will get easier.

    Good luck!

  • It is scary, last week was DH's first week back at work, and this week he's actually working away, so I don't even have him in the evenings either.

    Like Feebs says, sometimes you do just have to let them cry whilst you get the essentials done, hard as it is. I also bought a baby carrier and sometimes it's useful to have her in it so at least my hands are free to put the washing in or whatever! Doesn't always stop her crying mind you...

    Is there anyone else who can help you out? I'm lucky that my MIL is quite close, she came round the other day and took Daisy out for an hour just so I could have a shower and get some stuff done.

    You'll be fine, things will get easier and you'll become a whizz at managing everything!
  • You really will get used to it all, its amazing how easy you'll find it all once you are used to doing it all yourself and how much you enjoy the hours when he is at home and you can have some time to yourself.
    plus, its easy to think you can just get everything done and then stress yourself out trying to do it all. The housework really wont destroy the house or your relationship if it doesnt get done for one day and dinner can be made later when the baby is asleep. Ive definitely learned that after 3 kids. i think these are things people talk about when they say it becaomes easier after your first, mainly because you learn to let go of the things that you have be doing for years and start to chill more image
    im sure all will be fine and at least you can come on here and shout at us during the day if you are getting stressed.
    claire and Lara.
  • You will be completely fine! You just adapt to it, my LO is very unsettled and i thought I was going to spend my days stuck with him on my lap just so he wouldn't cry! But you discover ways to keep them entertained even if only for tweny mibutes so you can have a shower , put washing in machine etc.

    I read that babies sometimes can be settled by white noise/running water so this could be worth a go. I bring my baby into bathroom in his car seat when i shower and he looks content listening to water, also that way if they cry at least you can see they're physically okay and not panic!

    You'll find ways to fit in housework eventually but for the moment eating and resting come first. It will all fall into place you'll be amazeed at how well you can cope, I was!
    Best of luck xxxx

    [Modified by: G-j-91 on May 26, 2010 08:36 AM]

  • Don't be too worried - it will be hard - I won't lie to you but after about 2-3 weeks you'll find yourself in a reasonable routine. I used the baby sling a lot for Amelia which wasn't ideal as she was strapped to me all the time but it did mean I wasn't a slave to the sofa.

    Also - do try to get out at least once a day as that seems to help breed sanity.
  • Oh bless you. It's horrible when they go back to work, isn't it? The way I dealt with the first few days is I thought that as long as Matilda is fed, clean and happy then it doesn't matter if I don't get dressed or do the hoovering! I didn't set my expectations very high at all and, as it happens, it wasn't as bad as I thought. You will be just fine hon and it means that you and Lucas can get to know each other a bit more. Like claire says, you know where we are if you need us! x
  • Thanks so much ladies, knew I could count on you for some reassurance.

    Really didn't think I'd be this scared!

    Good tip about bringing bubba into the bathroom, will def try that. Gonna get myself a better sling as the one I have, a gift, is a proper crotch dangled!

  • Tri just reminded me - you can wash your hair as the sound of the hairdryer has the same effect - sends Matilda to sleep! image
  • Just wanted to agree with the other ladies renri, you will be just fine. Don't worry about tidying the house etc. - those things really aren't important. Def agree with taking Lucas into the bathroom - Benjamin loves it in there because it is so light - I just leave him in there whilse I get myself dressed and sorted and he has a morning nap (he's up there right now!)!! Def get a decent sling if Lucas is clingy - I've found them great on the days that Benjamin just won't be put down. Also, if you feel well enough, I find that if I don't have anything on, I need to get out the house regardless at least once a day to stop myself going crazy - even if it is just to go for a walk (and buy a sandwich because I've forgotten to eat!)...

    Ruth xxx

    PS I actually found it easier in some ways when my OH went back to work as Benjamin & I were able to get into our own routine!
  • Hope it's going OK renri, I'm sure it is.

    One thing I would say is just make sure you are organised. Get your bottles sterilised first thing while hubby is still there, make sure you have enough nappies/wipes/outfits ready to hand for the whole day.

    I also agree with getting out, even if it's just a 15 minute walk. Does Lucas sleep when he goes out for a walk in his pram? Oliver does so when I get back I leave him in there until he wakes up and get a few jobs done then.

    I also agree about taking them in the bathroom!

    H x
Sign In or Register to comment.