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Planning another anyone?

Hi ladies

I know it's early days and I'm amazed to be even considering this, but just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on having another baby? We've decided we want one more baby, close in age to Jack so they can be brought up together. Although he has Brad as a big brother, there's 12 years between them and Brad already spends every waking moment playing with his friends either outside or on his x-box so it's not fair to expect Brad to play with him all the time.

Any advice on perfect age (if there is a one) to try for another? My midwife said to leave it 2 years but I'm not getting any younger and what if it takes a few years to happen? I'd rather 2 years maximum gap between them (in an ideal world). Hubby wants to try straight away but I want to wait until the New Year so I can have some 'me' time back before doing it again.

Any advice or personal experience would be great...

Thanks

Kirsty and Jack xxx

Replies

  • I cant advise or speak from personal experience as so far I only have Holly. My sil had 3 very close together and then had a 5 year break before having her youngest and she also says it was much nicer having them close together as they always had company whereas her youngest often complains that she has no one to play with and seems to get a bit lonely.
    Ideally we would like to start again once Holly is 1 but I really dont want to go on the mini pill and as im breast feeding the normal pill is out too, not that I really want to go back on that either. I cant imagine us always using condoms so its more likely going to be that we wont be trying but we wont be trying too hard to prevent it either. We know we want at least one more so we would be delighted whenever it happened.
  • My hubby keeps hinting about this topic!
    I would like another and like you Kirsty, 2 years apart but then as you have put, what if it takes a while to conceive? I too am not getting any younger. I think we'll probably start trying in a year as I'd rather allow plenty of time to fully recover after my section.

    Shell xx
  • Hey i have 21months between my first two then 22 months between number two and three and that gap has been perfect for us - my 3 1/2 year old daughter and 23 month old son play beautifully together and they both adore their 6wk old sister - i certainly wouldn't want a bigger age gap and think number 4 will be either the same age gap or smaller obviously it depends on mother nature too and so far she has been very kind to us. It is a very personal choice though - friends of ours have two children who are 4 years apart and they think that is perfect and that we are bonkers having ours so close and wanting so many - so i guess its each to their own.
    Jo xxx
  • I think we will try again when Haiden is 3 (or maybe a bit before so hopefully he or she is born when Haiden is 3. We will need a new house though as this won't be big enough to have two children

    I have told people I don't want to have to get a double buggy, so I am back on the pill now! xx
  • I'd love another now!but we're going to wait till she's about 1 and then try again. I'm on the mini pill now. I want them to be close in age.
    xx
  • Hi hun - how you doin?

    I'm going to write my birth story tomorrow (I'm determined!!) but based on how I feel right now I dont think I can ever go through it again. Hubby and I have talked a lot about it this week and neither of us want Harrison to be an only child but we're both as terrified as each other about me getting pregnant and having a similar pregnancy / birth again that we've decided that we'll look towards adoption. Its something we've always agreed we'd do at some stage anyway as (many of you know what i do for a living) its a subject close to my heart. My midwife came round on saturday and was adament I'll change my mind - maybe I will in the future, but I just dont feel it right now.

    Lisa xxx
  • We don't want another until Isabelle is 4/5, I can't for 2 years anyway because my SPD would be ridiculous as mine is one of the 10% that is hormone affected, hence I am still struggling as the hormone is still released whilst you breatfeed!

    Hubby had 2 years between him and his brother, and would have liked a bigger gap, whereas there are 8 & 10 years between me and my sisters, and although we are close we are all our own people, and we all like the gap between me and them, rather than them as they are again 2 years apart and feel like they have always had to do everything together.

    We want to enjoy Isabelle and her baby years, and then do the same with the next, if money was no object we would be having many more than 2, but we just can't sadly image

    Bets XxX
  • Well there is 2 years 2 months between my 2 girls, I think thats a good age gap but I must be very honest its bloomin hard work. My oldest turned into a little monster for the first 6 weeks, she is better but still has her bad days!

    I said when i had my first I didnt want anymore, then became pregnant when she was 6 months which sadly ended in a mmc, after that I said never again then became pregnant with Lucy and all the way through my pregnany with Lucy I said no more. She is now 8 weeks and I am coming round to the idea of another one, but Lucy will be at least 3 before I do it all again well that is the plan at the moment.

    I am not going back on the pill, so we will have to be very careful.

    xx
  • Thanks for all the responses ladies. I agree that it is a very personal choice and can depend on the circumstances. I'm amazed I'm even thinking about it as I said never again!

    Jack has changed my whole outlook on life and my once career driven mind has gone completely out of the window. I'm loving being a mammy so much I never want to go back! (Will have to check the finances though!!!) I now feel I missed out on so much with Brad and even with a new baby, I have so much more time to spend with him doing homework and making meals rather than coming in a bad mood, marking files, preparing classes and banging something in for tea from the freezer!

    May just be hormones but will wait and see how it goes. I'm not going back on the pill - or maybe I should as I've fallen pregnant on the pill - TWICE!!!

    I am concerned though how I'll manage with a one year old and a baby (if all goes to plan) but I'm sure I will! (I'll just have to!...lol)

    Kirsty xxx
  • Ha ha ha ha!! Another??? Not on your nelly!!!can't even think about sex let alone more sleepless nights! perhaps one day soon, cos we are not getting any younger, but can't face thinking about it for now! xx
  • When we started trying for no.2 our daughter was 21months old, it took us a year to concieve though so there is a 3 12 yr age gap but it has worked out perfrectly. Our eldest is very independant and has just started nursery so Im getting some quality time with the baby. I dont think I could cope with being pregnant and having a baby or young toddler because of the running around after them and picking them up.
    There is no chance I want another one,2 is enough
    xxx
  • ooh what a nice topic!! id love to try for another next year but samuels our 3rd and hubby says no!! will have to try persuade him lol!! i have 3 yrs between dd1 and dd2 and its a great age gap.I have 15 months between dd2 and ds3 and am also finding that great so id say go for it if its what you want!! there will be pros and cons for any age gap so just do what feels right for you xxx
  • We are going to try again this time next year, we had two mcs when trying for James so I know it could take a while again. Ideally Id like two years between James and the next one as there is a big gap between him and my daughter (she is 10).

    James is a very placid baby as was my daughter so knowing our luck our third will be a monster lol!! x
  • My hubby wants another one close together - it took us nearly 4 years to concieve Grace so if we have another I dont want to wait too long - does anyone know about the maternity benefit and returning to work on this sunject - can you go back pregnant??
  • Not sure what age gap - but we definitely want at least another 1. Hubby jokes he wants 5...i hope he is joking!

    We will just try when we feel ready i think.
    xx
  • We defo want more, maybe when Lily is 2. What is the difference between pill and mini pill??xx
  • the mini pill has to be taken at exactly the same time each day as far as im aware.I think this is the one you have to have if breastfeeding,i will ask when i have my 6 week checkup xx
  • hey girls, hope your all well! and babies too.

    the mini pill is taken while breastfeeding and has to be taken at the same time every day and unlike the pill you take it continuously without having a week off.

    we would defo like to have another, hubby wants me to be pregnant by the time cailey is 1, but i'd like to maybe wait 18 months.
    a girl i work with has just 13 months between her little girls and she says its fab.... however not so sure I would be so brave!
    xxx
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