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sick of being laughed at :(

I'm really annoyed at my parents - especially my Mam at the moment. I do try and go over as much as possible but she's really annoying me by undermining me all the time. I was young when I had my first son so any advice was welcomed and I lived with her so obviously she was very involved if not responsible for most of Brad's early upbringing.

The problem now is that she scoffs at things I say for example:

Laughing out loud in ASDA because I bought a sippy cup at 5 months saying I thought Jack was a child genius while my Grandma also scoffed whilst rolling her eyes saying that I thought he was one year old and pushing him too hard.

I 'over stimulate' him by constantly talking to him and playing with him!

Apparantly he doesnt understand humour as he's 'just a baby' which was her response when I told her he was pulling the muslin square off his face and laughing. I really think he understood the joke as I was doing it first, then he started doing it himself and laughing on cue.

He cant possibly 'like' Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and it's just a fluke that he smiles, laughs and kicks his feet whenever it's on, and turns his head to the TV if he hears the theme tune.

I'm going to choke him by letting him hold the brocoli sprig instead of mushing it up and should wait until he's at least 9-10 months before moving on from slop.

Jack wont like swimming and I'm just taking him to keep up with everyone else because they think they have to take their babies.

Honestly the list is endless and she can be really nasty sometimes and I get to the point that I dont want to take him over anymore. She picks up on everything I do and she acts like she's super nanny. Jack is gaining weight, really bright and sleeps all night. She told me not to tell people things like he understands his name now as they'll think I'm stupid! (he does know his name now though!) lol...He has a wonderful routine that we both enjoy yet she thinks I do everything wrong because I dont leave him in his pram all day with a sleepsuit on and swaddled! image

Anyone else get this or is my mother the only one? :roll:

Kx

Replies

  • Hi hun

    I cant say im in the same situation but didnt want to read and run. Im sure she doesnt mean to be, maybe thinks shes offering advice, but maybe going the wrong way about it.

    Its annoying tho when people tell you how and what you should be doing, it really bugs me.

    Im feeling all ratty today - think its bcoz ive got nothing planned so stuck in all day. I have just tried putting Lily to bed and she screamed as usual but i couldnt handle it today so brought her bcak down and she is playing. I thought i was going to cry - not sure why but im feeling a little tearful.

    Totally changed the subject!!! sorry hun. Hope you get it resolved soon xxxxxx

    Big hugs
  • Hiya Kirsty,

    I know what you mean, everyone has an opinion on how your baby should be brought up. My mum has passed the odd comment but all I need to do now is raise an eyebrow, ha ha.

    It is difficult because they're your family & you love them but sometimes they do cross the line and you have to put them right back behind it. Maybe use simple comments in a polite manner like 'oh how things have changed'. Or 'keep up with the times', 'back in the olden days?'. Or offer to lend them a modern baby book so they can brush up on their old fashioned knowledge. How about next time your HV comes invite your mum, she can't argue with a professional!
    Or just be honest and tell her she's upset you.

    A lot of us Aug girls have already got sippy cups and health officials say to use them as early as poss to help with motor skills & co-ordination.

    Alfie understands humour somewhat. He knows when I'm being very silly and gets a daft look on his face imitating what I'm doing to him and when I do 'the evil laugh' he kicks his legs furiously knowing I'm going to tickle him or do something equally silly.

    I think even at this age they do recognise certain sounds (theme tunes) etc. Alfie recognises my message tone on my phone as he instantly stops what he's doing knowing I'll pick my mobile up which means he can gaze at the phone charm dangling from it & try to grab it.

    I hope things ease off for you. Sorry I can't be of much help.

    Shell xx

    [Modified by: floss78 on February 12, 2010 01:11 PM]

  • Oh hun, sorry to G/C as I'm a 'junie' really, but do have similar probs.

    My Dad can be a bit like that, the other day OH was feeding LO (shes 7mths now) and he wiped her face with a wet wipe to get the food off ehr face, my Dad was winceing (sp?) behind him, then on the phone he said to me about how hard OH was wiping her face (he really wasnt). He makes little comments like this alot of the time, and I do ignore him, unless I feel strongly about it or hes out of order. BUT, my dad wont take criticism back, he smokes alot and doesnt wash his hands after a fag and I hate him touching LO after it (I know I should have said something).

    MIL also feels she needs to comment on things we do - she made several comment sbaout how we spoilt LO by letting her fall asleep on us etc etc.

    I really think people esp parents think that their way is the best, and that they just have this huge need to share their info with us. Could you stop taking LO to your mums for awhile and if she asks why tell her? Maybe she would get the hint?

    Oh, my LO also pulls muslins and blankets over her head in a pook-a-boo type way - because she watched me do it, she also knows her name - so your Mum is definately wrong - dont worry. SOunds like you have a really happy healthy little boy, and you are doing a fab job.
    xx
  • im G/C from due in may but im having this problem with my mum. to date i can count on one hand how many conversations we're had regarding baby, where she hasn't laughed at me or made me feel one inch tall. she even says things to other people out loud about how stupid what im saying is! we have been shopping and she has changed the list cos 'i don't need those things' i had chosen an Avent set with breat pump and all stuff i wanted in. i have to tip toe round her to avoid her ranting. i have invited her for run up to and birth, but have no idea how to cope with her behaviour when baby is here. OH has said if brother & dad don't reign her in he'll just kick her out of the house as it's not what i need after giving birth.
    i try at all costs to avoid talking to her about (god forbid i may think for myself) MY choices for MY son now. OH has tongue half the size due to resisting urge to tell her to F*** off ometimes. i understand some of the advice we are given can be over the top, but things do change over time for good reason! my younger brother was born 24 years ago for god sake. i think it gives them a boost to feel like they know it all. i have no idea how to get round it as confronting her she does best impression of tantrums i will expect from my son when he's a teenager! :O just wnated you to know your def not alone!

    27+3
  • Thanks for the replies ladies. I saw my mam on Friday and I never mentioned a thing about Jack or what he'd been doing. I let her do all the talking and was very quiet. She asked me if everything was ok and I told her I wasnt talking about Jack as I'm sick of her laughin and putting me down. I reminded her that I'm in my 30s and this is my second child. She had me in her 20s and only ever had me so I think I'm in a more experienced postion! She apologised and said she didnt realise she was doing it. Not sure how you couldn't notice that but never mind at least she now knows. We spent a nice day together shopping on Sat after we'd cleared the air. Still didnt mention Jack too much but think she'll be biting her tongue a little more now rather than upset me! My advice to those in the same position would be to clear the air before the fireworks that will no doubt go off if it's left too long.

    K x
  • Hmmmmmmm Kirsty it sounds like you're guilty of giving your baby boy too much love and attention... if you're not careful he'll grow up into a bright, secure, happy little child! How ridiculous! Poor you, glad you've cleared the air. Rest assured you're doing all the right things.

    Helen x
  • I'm so glad you've cleared the air with your mum. Bet you feel a lot more at ease xx
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