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So upset :(

Hello everyone,

I really need some advice on something. My husband and I have a 7 months daughter and while my husband is working full-time and that I am at college 2 days a week, it is my MIL who looks after our LO.

However my daughter seems to have such a strong connection with her grandma (MIL was at the birth) and she is always so excited when she sees her, she even ended up in tears yesterday because she saw her grandma and wanted to be picked up. But she never has this reaction when she sees me and when I come home from college, it's like she doesn't miss me at all and she loves her grandma more than she loves me.

It is really upsetting. Do you think it is possible for my daughter to love her grandma more than me?

Also I have been offered a really good full-time job to start in july which means leaving our LO with her grandma all day and 5 days a week. I am scared that our LO is going to think that my MIL is her mum.

I am not sure what to do. Sorry for writing so much, I am just soo upset, I feel like my daughter is slipping away from me image

Thank you for reading me

Julie, mummy of Emma 7 months (14.08.2010)


  • Didn't want to r & r but just wanted to say not to worry, no-one can ever replace you, i'm sure you're a fab mummy and your DD must love you very much. Sometimes as parents we get all the mundane stuff as well as the fun but grandparents are often just a source of fun and your LO probably enjoys her time with her for that reason. Your DD must feel very secure with you and that's why she doesn't cry when you leave her as she knows you'll be coming back-this is a good thing! You'll probably find that if you go to work full time the novelty of grandma will wear off and your DD will behave more normally towards her.

    You're daughter is not slipping away, please don't think that. The best way to look at it is that you're lucky that you have someone your DD loves so much looking after her-afterall it would be awful if you had to leave her and she hated it. I know you want to feel like the most important person in your DD's life and believe me you are, never forget that. You obviously make her feel safe and happy and that is such an important thing.

    Chin up

  • I never get the same big smiles from Jason that he gives to his dad and granny and grampy. I just think its because I am boring mum who is there all the time and he takes it for granted that I always will be whereas with them its a bit different and fun to see them. And he gets made a fuss over. Your baby know you are her mum, that when she cries mummy makes it better, that you are there in the night when she is hungry or scared. Don't worry about it. If you are really concerned, does she have to go to granny everyday when you start work? Could you put her in a nursery a couple of days a week to break it up a bit? But then l guess free child care is too good to pass on. I would just be relieved that you have someone you trust and that your lo is comfortable with to look after her.
  • Thank you to you both, reading your replies made me feel much better. Maybe i am just worrying too much. I am grateful to have a MIL who looks after my LO so well, who I trust completely and who is willing to do it full-time which is definately really helpful and free-cost!!

    I'll try not to worry as much, I know i am a good mum and always do my best for her.

    Thanks again for your advice and replies x
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