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childcare

Hi i've kind of lost track of what everyone is doing in relation to working/studying but I'd be really interested to know what childcare you use. Also even if you aren'tworking have you decided to start your lo at nursery or pre-school?

I recently changed my hours at work and have had to arrange more childcare for Noah. He still goes to his childminder on a monday but now goes pre-school 2 mornings and to my mil one morning.

I'm not sure about the pre-school. He was ok the first couple of sessions at pre-school but the second week knew what was coming and balled his eyes out. it was very hard to leave him but he did settle later. I don't think the pre-school is the best pre-school for such tiny ones and i had reservations that noah was old enough anyway so maybe its my doubts creeping through. it certainly is the best pre-school out of the 3 in town and his key worker is a lovely lady but she only works on one of the days he is there! so he has a different lady on the other day who also seems nice but can't help him feel settled having different people looking after him (I did try swopping his day)

Its a huge change in his routine and he probably feels a bit all over the place as I feel like that and i'm doing the same job but just different shifts!
He has also been poorly at the end of the week so being tired and run down could have been a factor in him being so upset at the thought of been left at pre-school at the beginning of the week. My mil bless her had him again at the end of the week so that was a real life saver!

i've said i'll give it a couple of weeks to see if he will settle but i just wanted some opinions on your lo's and how they get on. i feel like a mean mummy and am now considering changing it all but i would still be stuck for one day which would mean he would still go to the pre-school on one day (on the day with the nice lady who I know really well) but maybe just going on one day would help him settle?

some people seem to think he is too young but others have said it will do him good. Maybe i should stop panicking and just give it a couple of weeks!

all opinions welcome! thanks, jules
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Replies

  • Well at the minute Rhys isn't going anywhere as i'm on maternity leave now but befoe that he went to my Dad's for the few hours me and Jay overlapped working. I do want to get him into nursery though even if it's just 1 or 2 days as it'll give me a bit of time for just me & baby and I want him to have the social side of it too.

    i'd give Noah a few weeks and see if he settles any better and if not maybe think about changing things then x
  • Well i am zachariah's only ' carer' and it is exhausting!!!!!!! Lol
    I have thought about sending him somewhere just so that he is used to being separated from me but tbh I feel it would be mean as I am here. I've been slowly getting distance from him at our groups though and he's had to be left with his baba(dad) or nana on occassion but only when he got much happier with playing with them whilst I was in another room (and oh felt he could cope! Tsk).
    The peadiatrician we see about zachariah's eyes had wanted him in nursery/preschool at 2 which tbh I had felt was too young and at the time had been expecting Angel so didn't want him to feel pushed out. We're now talking 2 1/2 but he's also likely to have one on one to begin with to ensure he doesn't end up undoing any progress he's made. The speech therapist however thinks I should wait until 3 as we're talking a few terms and says he's progressing fine through home and activities we do.
    Sorry that's a bit of a ramble and more about me! Lol. I was just trying to explain the perspective I have on it.
    Tbh for me I feel zachariah is too young but in our case he's not going anywhere. How long does Noah go for? Was he like that when you started with the childminder? It could well be that he was just too poorly this week and mummys obv going to be wanted more than any teacher person. I would think as he appeared to love it at first it's worth giving it a few more tries and then rethink it if he's still not happy.
    I can't believe a babies are growing up so fast and having to go to these things lol, I'm already panicking about preschool/school and it's ages away, I just know it's going to creep up so fast image
  • Hi
    Jacks been going to nursery 2 full days a week (7.30am-6pm) since he was 9 months old and i went back to work!
    He enjiys it and has lots of fun although he is going through a phase of crying when i leave him which usually makes me cry but by the time im outside and peek through window hes fine.
    I think nursery has developed him lots and he does things there that we cant do at home!
    Its all personal choice when i was pregnant my mum said she would look after him all day when i went back to work but we decided it would be too much for her. Good job really as she so unreliable she makes excuses about picking him up from nursery one day a week so god knows how we would have got on if we took her up that offer!
  • thanks we started zach at pre-school at just over 2 1/2 and he was more than ready for it and that was just out of choice really as he already went to a childminder one day a week. he loved it from day one. noah has always seemed so much younger than zach was at his age so maybe i do baby him a bit but 2 does seem very young. there is a nursery in our town but it has a huge waiting list.
    your mum sounds like her heart is in the right place but not quite organised enough to follow through!
    don't worry about zachariah - when the time comes he will be ready - my aunt never sent my cousin to any pre-school and she never even took him to mum and baby groups so when she started him at school at 5 he had no expereince of other children or being away from his mum and she reckons he managed ok!
  • Oakley goes to a c/m for 2 days and is with MIL for 1 day. My DD1 went to a private day nursery and it was brillaint for her, she thrived there so I was a little disappointd that due to legistics Oakley won't go to nursery. He does however go to creche for 2 hrs one morning while I'm at the gym so he does get some time where he hasn't got someone at his beck and call.

    I'd wait and see how Noah settles in esp as he was unwell. Tears are usually gone as soon as mummy has!
  • Hi Jules - I've just written a huge reply and my puter just went back a page and I lost it all!! aaaarrrrgggghhh :evil:

    To cut a long story short......I have much the same concerns as you - Bryn only started at pre-school for 2 sessions last week but I feel he's possibly a bit too young to be there. :roll:

    We need to get together for that coffee and chat! Let me know when you're free and we can meet up. Em xxx
  • Hi,

    Brendan goes to nursery 2 days a week, he started going last August so he could pick up Norwegian better and so I had a bit of a break from having two babies at home! I don't think they do a pre school thing over here as such but nursery here is more about learning then I think some of the UK ones are. They don't start school until they are 6 here as they believe in learning through play before that age.

    Brendan was the same at first in that he cried when we left him, but the nursery assistant said he stopped pretty much as soon as we left!! Now he is totally fine and is doing a lot better for going there. It is quite a long day for him as hubby drops him off at 7:30am on his way to work and picks him up at 4:30pm so he is tired and grumpy by the time he gets home! We are going to increase him to three days a week from Easter and then up to 4 or 5 days from August this year. Jacob is going to start in August this year too when he will only be 14 months, just two days a week at first but I really want to get my online business going this year so need some time to do it!

    A friend of mine works in a nursery over here and she said it can sometimes take longer for them to settle in if they only go two days a week so maybe just give him a bit longer. Once he has made friends and it is all more familiar I am sure he will be fine xxx
  • Liz,

    as I was reading your post I thought well what will she do with herself for 2 days completely child free - then read a business. I'm being nosey what is it you're thinking of doing?

    Being nosey with everyone else - What are the costs of your pre-schools? For a 3 hr session it's ??11 here
  • El - Bryn's pre-school is ??6 per session - sessions are 9:15-11:45 and 12:15-2:45 ... if they stay for lunch it's an extra ??1.50.
  • Hi,
    Well we've just changed Gracie's childcare around as I had a problem with my old cm and left her the end Nov, so since the new year, Gracie now goes to a new cm (the one I had for the boys!) for 2 days and nursery/preschool for one day. She's had to adjust to two new places and tbh, she sometimes cries when dropping her off, but within 1 min or so, she's fine. I don't feel guilty for leaving her as she does enjoy both places and I feel it benefits them so much in terms of social ability, speech, etc. Both my boys went to this preschool nursery from the age of 2-2.5 and the staff are great. I think at this age they need more than just a cm and need interaction with other chn their own age etc to help develop. I will up Gracie's sessions when she receives her nursery grant next year so she's more there than the cm.
    I would give Noah more time to settle, it does take longer if they only go once or twice a week, as opposed to every day. He will settle, and all the better to learn to settle now, than when he starts school!
    Our babies are most def growing up fast!
  • El - don't mind you asking at all. It is a photo editing web business I am going to set up, I mentioned it on here ages ago and had started making plans but when I fell pregnant with Jacob I was so tired all the time the business plans got put on hold. Basically it will be a web site where you can upload your photos for me to edit and enhance, also a service to put a load of photos into a slideshow set to music on DVD, and more things along similar lines. Not sure how successful it will be but as we aren't replying on me to bring any money in at the moment it is the ideal time to give it a go.

    We currently pay the equiv of ??100 a month for Brendan to go to nursery 2 days a week which I don't think is too bad. x
  • Cole has been going to nursery since he was ummmm 10 1/2 months old I think. He was 11 months when I went back to work and he started a couple of weeks before I went back. He's just starting his visits to move up to the 2-3's room which I'm assuming is pretty much like pre-school but we've not been over yet to see it properly.

    He's pretty much always been fine at nursery although he does have some days where he's clingy when I leave him or clingy when I pick him up but I'm happy for him to go and even if I didn't have to work I'd still want him to go a couple of days a week casue I think its great for kids to mix with other kids like that, and get used to being away from parents and be in a different environment

    I think you probably need to give him a while longer to settle especially if he's been ill. Have they told you how he is once you've gone? I know I used to ring about an hour after dropping cole off if he wasn't happy when I left him and he was always fine so I don't bother any more.

    ??100 for Brendans nursery Liz..omg thats cheap! Cole's is almost that per week for 3 days! I'm so moving to norway lol
  • Thank you again. Noah cried again this morning but not so much and I suggested to him I read him a book and they've got a library area but they also have a quiet area and he took me by the hand and led me to there and sat on a big animal bean bag cushion and I read him a story. his key worker came to see if he was ok and so i left him to her and he was better. They said he was a bit teary after I left but had a really good day. he even brought me a picture home bless him!

    the sessions are ??5.10 for the 3 hour morning session and ??4.25 for the 21/2 hour afternoon session. its ??1.70 for the lunch.

    The pre-school where zach used to go on 2 days was ??6 (or ??6.50 I can't remember) per 2 1/2 hour session and ??3. per lunch or ?? 3.00 for the early morning start which was 45 minutes. so it added up to be a lot more money!

    The term after their 3rd birthday they get free sessions - i think it equates to about 5 sessions. My childminder is finishing in July - just in time for the summer holidays so thats something else to worry about - thank goodness thats a long way off!!

    feel much better after a positive day today!
  • Oh thats good to hear that he's had a better day. Hope he carries on doing well.


    xx
  • Oh thats good to hear that he's had a better day. Hope he carries on doing well.


    xx
  • lol Kia, it is very family friendly over here we are lucky. If you are a stay at home Mummy you get well looked after,you get pretty much the same as the UK for the first year (??100 a month per child family allowance) then once the child turns a year old up to 3 years old you get just over ??300 a month if they don't go to a state nursery as the nurserys are subsidised. If you send them to nursery this amount goes down as a percentage according to how many hours they go. So I still get something like ??170 a month for Brendan and then have to pay ??100 a month to his nursery. So I guess in theory it costs me more than ??100 a month as my baby money is reduced but at the same time all of Brens nursery fees covered by the money meaning nothing is coming out of hubbys salary which is fab.
    There is a nursery at hubbys school which is for children aged 3+ and as staff hubby can have up to two children there free of charge. We are looking to find out if Bren could go there just two days a week from next year so he can split it between his current nursery as I wouldn't really want to take him away from there since he enjoys it so much.

    Jules - glad he had a better day and you are feeling happier about it! xxx
  • Glad he settled quicker.
    There is no way I would wait until school, that would definitely be throwing him in the deep end but I'm just hoping we'll progress to coping without me there as I know it's not going to do him any favours.
    Hope Noah continues to get more settled soon image
  • Liz - a very excititng adventure, I've often wondered about doing something myself but won't want to deal with the tax side of things would drive me potty!

    Yet again it looks like it's 1 - 0 to Norway - we really do have it pants here in England.
  • I know what you mean El, the accounts side of it is a down side! I used to do the accounts for my Dads business so I have some experience of business accounts,and I did a night course years ago in computerised accounts, and my HR Management course covered some accountancy too but it doesn't stop it being really boring lol! I talked to a business start up place when I first started looking into getting a business going and they advised I get an accountant at least for the first few years. It is a bit different doing everything in norwegian kroner and understanding all the forms etc over here. I was surprised at how little it would cost for an accountant to be honest, you pay per invoice over here so your accountancy fees will be in proportion to how many sales you are making which is good.
    They also said that I don't need to worry too much about tax etc until I have earned over the equiv of around ??5,000 as you don't pay anything up to that point. I would just need to make sure I kept my books in order to show what the business had made.

    I am very excited about it though, can't wait to get my brain into something other than babies!! Hubby has agreed that we can wait a couple of years before trying for baby 3 as I don't think I could cope with 3 children so close together. Plus I want to enjoy things with Bren and Jacob and have some nice holidays before being pregnant and having a newborn again. x
  • Carrying on the own business theme (sorry Jules hijacking things!) I ahve just filled in my first tax return for my Usborne Books selling and I was DREADING it - but it was piss easy so really a pleasure even though I earn from other work too it was really fine!

    On the childcare front - max was 2 days a week from 9months till he was 15months and was HORRENDOUS cried and screamed and clung to his keyworker often all day (sometimes she even had to have him on her lunch break with her cos he wouldn't go to anyone else) then when he was 15 months he started full time and settled like a dream - on 2 days he went WEd and Fri so there was ALWAYS a break betweent he days and he just found it sooooooo hard. Now he LOVES Nursery although today he has had his last day in the room with his lovely keyworker Flo - there were tears from her, him and me tonight but he loves the bigger room too!

    Hope it all settles down soon for you Jules! image
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