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Screaming fits!
Hi,
Lately Bren has started having odd moments where he will throw a complete tantrum, throwing himself on the floor, thrashing his arms and legs around and screaming. If we try and pick him up he will hit and kick so we have been trying to ignore the behaviour (as long as he isn't about to hurt himself) to discourage it but it just seems to be getting worse.
As I said in my other post we have been having big problems with him sleep wise this week and last night he woke up at 3am crying (not as bad as it has been but then he only went to sleep at 9pm!) and when I went in to settle him down again I picked him up to calm him down and he clung onto me but went mental throwing his dummy on the floor, he slapped me around the face, and just had a huge tantrum! I put him back down into bed and told him I wasn't going to cuddle him if he was going to be naughty so he proceeded to have a tantrum in his bed. I was trying to settle him for a good half an hour, I gave him some bonjela in case it is his teeth, and offered him some juice as he had been coughing a bit. In the end hubby got up and said he would have a go and Bren was instantly calmer was he was there (he has turned into such a daddys boy lately which is probably not such a bad thing with the new baby due to arrive). Hubby said he was just going to get into bed with him again which is what he had done over the weekend so I asked him not to and to just calm him down, lay him down, and rub his back until he was nearly asleep. He did this but every time Bren was asleep again and hubby left the room Bren would wake up again and start crying again! He would leave him for a few minutes and the crying would be on and off which indicated to me he was listening to see if he was getting a reaction from us. When it got really bad hubby would go back in and rub his back and repeat the whole thing again. By 4:30am :roll: hubby said he was going to get into bed with him because he couldn't take any more and I was too shattered to argue so he did and of course Bren went straight to sleep. Hubby and I are both cream crackered today, he had to leave for work at 7:30am, I got up at about 8:30am and Bren slept until 10am so he was obviously tired. I should have woken him earlier really but I wanted to get some jobs done and have a shower and breakfast before I had to deal with him again - sounds awful sorry!
I've told hubby to sleep in the spare bedroom tonight which is at the other side of the house and I will continue to try the 'pick up put down' controlled crying method which has usually worked before. My question to you lovely ladies is firstly are your los having tantrums like this? If so have you any tips on how to deal with them? Also do you think I am doing the right thing using the pick up put down method to try and get him back into routine? He is in his bed now not a cot alhough he is generally sitting in bed crying and doesn't get out straight away - probably because he has a safety gate in his doorway so he knows he can't get very far!
I'm so desperate to get him back into routine for before the baby arrives (less than 5 weeks to my due date!) because the thought of coping with a newborn and all these screaming tantrums from Bren is too much!
Any advice would be appreciated! xxx
Lately Bren has started having odd moments where he will throw a complete tantrum, throwing himself on the floor, thrashing his arms and legs around and screaming. If we try and pick him up he will hit and kick so we have been trying to ignore the behaviour (as long as he isn't about to hurt himself) to discourage it but it just seems to be getting worse.
As I said in my other post we have been having big problems with him sleep wise this week and last night he woke up at 3am crying (not as bad as it has been but then he only went to sleep at 9pm!) and when I went in to settle him down again I picked him up to calm him down and he clung onto me but went mental throwing his dummy on the floor, he slapped me around the face, and just had a huge tantrum! I put him back down into bed and told him I wasn't going to cuddle him if he was going to be naughty so he proceeded to have a tantrum in his bed. I was trying to settle him for a good half an hour, I gave him some bonjela in case it is his teeth, and offered him some juice as he had been coughing a bit. In the end hubby got up and said he would have a go and Bren was instantly calmer was he was there (he has turned into such a daddys boy lately which is probably not such a bad thing with the new baby due to arrive). Hubby said he was just going to get into bed with him again which is what he had done over the weekend so I asked him not to and to just calm him down, lay him down, and rub his back until he was nearly asleep. He did this but every time Bren was asleep again and hubby left the room Bren would wake up again and start crying again! He would leave him for a few minutes and the crying would be on and off which indicated to me he was listening to see if he was getting a reaction from us. When it got really bad hubby would go back in and rub his back and repeat the whole thing again. By 4:30am :roll: hubby said he was going to get into bed with him because he couldn't take any more and I was too shattered to argue so he did and of course Bren went straight to sleep. Hubby and I are both cream crackered today, he had to leave for work at 7:30am, I got up at about 8:30am and Bren slept until 10am so he was obviously tired. I should have woken him earlier really but I wanted to get some jobs done and have a shower and breakfast before I had to deal with him again - sounds awful sorry!
I've told hubby to sleep in the spare bedroom tonight which is at the other side of the house and I will continue to try the 'pick up put down' controlled crying method which has usually worked before. My question to you lovely ladies is firstly are your los having tantrums like this? If so have you any tips on how to deal with them? Also do you think I am doing the right thing using the pick up put down method to try and get him back into routine? He is in his bed now not a cot alhough he is generally sitting in bed crying and doesn't get out straight away - probably because he has a safety gate in his doorway so he knows he can't get very far!
I'm so desperate to get him back into routine for before the baby arrives (less than 5 weeks to my due date!) because the thought of coping with a newborn and all these screaming tantrums from Bren is too much!
Any advice would be appreciated! xxx
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As for night tantrums - Ophelia wouldn't sleep through and used to scream the place down but then she didn't sleep through until just before Bryn was bor so it wasn't unusual. Dave has told me that Mawgan started having tantrums when he was put in his own room and after a few days of trying to get him to stay in his bed they just shut the stairgate across the door and left him to it... for a couple of nights it was hell but then he stopped doing it. They didn't go back to him until he was asleep - even if that meant he fell asleep on the floor! However it worked for them at the time.
Thats probably no help at all but I didn't want to 'read and run'. I hope he gets better soon.
Big hugs xxx
But all that isn't much help in the night! I guess our policy is if poorly then cuddles and in bed with us if needed. But if nothings wrong. Then dummy pug in and 'no it's time for nunnights' I can certainly symaphise with you wanted to sort it before Jacob arrives.
I'm not really sure how to handle it and I generally ignore it which seems to have started to work. They seem to start when Henry is either tired or frustrated and they get pretty violent and sound awful and can sometimes last for 30 mins, I've only had 2 very very bad ones where I just left him lying on the floor and went to the other end of the house but within sight, After 30 mins he came over and got on my knee for cuddles. Most of the time when it is daytime tantrums I just leave him and he gets over it pretty quick. It does annoy me that hubby says he's being a brat cos I REALLY hate that word and I know he's not, it's just a phase!
We have the worst tantrums when he's being put in his car seat or buggy but he's been riding shotgun with me for a week now and loves it so doesn't fuss anymore!
He did have a spell of doing the night tantrum thing when he had been a bit poorly and was in the habit of waking and coming in with us . If he was really upset I would pick him up and just sit with him for a while but every time I'd put him down he'd start again. Most of the time I just put his dummy back in and hope for the best I try not to pick him up unless I have to as I don't want to get his hopes up that he' s coming in with us!
Hope things improve for you soon, must be really hard being so tired and so pregnant.
xxxx
I think you are right El in that it is partly a communication problem, he often babbles away but doesn't make any sense but he seems to think he is having a proper conversation with us!
He does seem to know he is being naughty as after he has calmed down he will usually come over and give me a kiss.
I may use your suggestion tonight Em and just let him cry even if he ends up asleep on the floor. The day time tantrums are on thing but it is the night time ones that are killing me, especially at the moment as I am full of cold and just feel like being in bed. Luckily so far he has been ok when we are out and about, although he did have a tantrum when we were at a friends house the other day. I felt awful for them as they looked really shocked, they have a 5 month old so they were probably thinking 'oh my goodness is this what we have to look forward to!'.
My brother was apparantly really bad for having tantrums when he was around 2 years old!
Hope you are ok Emily and that your pregnancy is going smoothly.
Thanks again ladies, it has made me feel better just reading your replies xxx
Just an idea with bed time but if you have been getting the nursery ready etc perhaps he's sensing the change and is just needing the extra security. Also stairgate on his door means he can't get to you - could you use it to block off half the hallway instead ? Just ideas but you'll know what best/safe good luck
Max started at 11 months and my hv refused to believe me until she came round and he had one there and then! She gave me the above advise and it really works we have far less full blown tantrums now! Usually distract in time!
Hope the nigthtimes sort out for you!
I put him down awake tonight, I have been waiting for him to pretty much fall asleep on me or hubby in the living room while he was poorly which won't have been helping. It took me nearly an hour and a half to get him to sleep but I started off singing him a lullaby in his bedroom and telling him a story and then tucking him in bed. He got up straight away so after about ten attempts to lie him down I just said night night and left the room. I left him to it for about 15 minutes as he was crying on and off and playing with a toy he found inbetween so wasn't too distressed. Then I went back in and he was standing at the safety gate so I picked him up and put him back in bed and said night night, gave his back a gentle rub and then left the room again. This was repeated several times with slightly bigger gaps. then the last time I went in I took the last of his bedtime bottle that he hadn't finished and he had that and then finally seemed to settle into bed better. That was about 20 minutes ago and (touch wood) all is quiet at the moment so I am going to bed!!
Keeping my fingers crossed that if he does wake in the night it won't be as big a task to settle him but I will give you a report in the morning!! xxx
She got really upset just b4 bed last night when I went to get the kids' PJs. Was sobbing hysterically til I returned (she was in the lounge with the boys and Charlie was trying to comfort her) and cried a good few mins after.
I can really sympathise. I think Bren perhaps senses the change in his mummy. I know Charlie did when I was pg with Alfie and Alfie was when I was pg with Gracie. They both became daddy's boys quite early on in the pregnancy, but then soon came back to me.
I hope you can sort this b4 long, and be prepared in case he does it when Jacob's born. Will hubby get pat leave?
Good luck for tonight, I'm really hoping for a good night's kip for one! x
After it taking me ages to get him to sleep in the first place he slept through until about 1:30am when he woke up crying. I decided not to leave him and to go and try and resettle him first and then leave him after that. Turned out I didn't need to! When I went in he was climbing to the bottom of his bed to get out so I picked him up gave him a cuddle and rubbed his back and whispered 'night time Bren, back to sleep' and he leant over towards the bed so I put him back in and he curled up and settled back down! I left the room straight away thinking this has got to be too good to be true and that he would soon be crying again, but went back to bed and woke up when my alarm went of at 6:30am!
Feel so much better today for having a decent nights sleep and I so hope he will continue like this now, I'm going to repeat the same thing tonight, put him in bed at 8pm awake (earlier if he is sleepy) it is a lot easier to deal with the tantrums at that time then in the early hours of the morning.
I got up showered and got myself ready, hubby got up got some milk sorted and then we woke Bren up at 7am!
I really hope everyone else had a better nights sleep, fingers crossed that Gracie learns a decent hour to wake up too! I don't think the mornings getting lighter helps, not sure what it is like in the UK now but it is starting to get light at about 3am over here now.
Ali - Hubby is entitled to 2 weeks unpaid paternity leave but he is also entitled to up to 10 days paid leave a year to look after Bren if I am in hospital or poorly so think if Jacob decides to arrive before my Mum is here he will take some of the paid leave to look after Bren. As his wage is the only one we have 2 weeks unpaid leave is a bit of a luxury we can't afford. But my Mum is coming over on the 8th June until the 22nd and that is when hubby starts his summer hols so then I will have him around to help until about the 17th August when his new term starts. Bren starts nursery two days a week then though so I will have some break during the week thankfully! xxx
tantrums - well fin seems to have this down to a tee... it started abouyt 2 weeks ago and my god he was and is a changed boy!
it started in day when he wanted something or was frustrated and he would hit, throw scream and cry and then would usually hurt himself hitting his head on floor or biting his toes (strange child) we would say no and move him somewhere else, he hates this and then would create even more and get himself into a right state! he's slightly better not much but i try to ignore but its hard when he tests my patience and i feel rotton!
the worst thing was a couple of nights he woke in night and one early morning and litrally screamed the house down, flug himself back, headbutting everything biting it was like he was possessed - i brought him down in the end as the neighbours must have been woken and he was going mad - i just put him on sofa and went to move away and he grabbed me hitting me then ran accross sofa grabbing the blinds and pulling them so hard then he climbed to floor ran to stairs and started bombing up those then just went mad!!!! i honestly did not know what to do and was shattered all day and worried as i was like what on earth is going on with him!!!
sorry prob not been much help with my reply apart from to say im with you on tantrums - sounds like youve mastered the bedtime and wow good on you in a big bed i think i would have got the cot back out hehehe!
how was midwife???
Gosh, im really not looking forward to the big tantrum phase, sounding v stressful! xx
Had a fairly bad night last night but it was to be expected because his routine was totally out with us having to go to the hospital. We didn't get home until nearly 9pm so gave him a quick bath and bottle of milk, he was totally hyper so I gave him until 9:30pm to calm down a bit and then started trying to get him to sleep in bed. At first it looked like he was going to go straight to sleep but after 10 minutes he was up and at his gate crying. I left him a minute then went and calmed him down and put him back to bed. Again it looked as though he was going to sit and talk to his teddy in bed (which is fne as far as I'm concerned!) but after about 10 mins he was crying again. I was bringing some washing in so hubby went to see to him and I could hear him on the monitor making silly noises at Bren and not doing what I asked in terms of not giving him any interaction and to just settle him back in bed! Finally got him settled at about 11pm although he was in the middle of his bed, the wrong way around so I just put his blanket from his cot over him and went to bed myself!
He woke up at about 3am crying and got out of bed but settled straight back down when I went in and put him back in bed. Then he woke again at 3:30am and was having a real tantrum that time, I left him to it and got him a drink in case he was thirsty. I finally got him settled again at about 4:15am after much back and forth using the pick up put down method again. Then he woke up at 6:10am and I thought s*d it so I said good morning to him and drew his curtains (much to his surprise!!). I got hubby and I a cuppa and some toast and a bottle of milk for Bren and we sat in bed and watched an episode of River Cottage before getting up properly!
So not a great night but I have got loads done this morning as a result of an early start! I'm on my third load of washing, cleaned the kitchen and living room floor, hoovered the veranda, cleaned our bedroom, cleaned the kitchen, took Bren for a short walk to post some letters, played outside with Bren on his swing and in the garden (until he started trying to eat gravel and then we came in!!), dusted, put the dry washing away that has been piling up, just got to clean the bathroom but think that can probably wait until tomorrow!! Hmmm.... maybe my nesting instincts are kicking in lol!!! xx
also oh my god your wonder women doing all that housework i would be curled up on sofa half asleep trying to coax fin to snuggle down with me cause i'd be soooo tired!
Hubby still thinks I sit on my backside all day so don't know why I bother.
Bren tries to help me which is very cute, I gave him a cloth today while I hoovered and he walked around wiping the coffee table and then rubbing it on the floor!!
Took an hour to get Bren to sleep tonight despite him being shattered but fingers crossed he sleeps through tonight!
Right - I'm off to bed, night night! xx
Bren slept until about 2am and then settled back down fairly easily when I put him back to bed. Then he woke at 5am and it took me a fair few attempts to get him back to sleep but he was clearly shattered still. He did sleep until 7:30am then though so at least I managed to get up and have a shower in peace!
He had an hour and a half nap at 10:30am ish so I will try and keep him awake now and see if we can do better tonight. I'm sure we have to ge there eventually!!! x