Bizarre woman?!

alioli123 · Jul 24, 2008 4:40PM

What do you all think of this?

We were at my nephew's birthday party at a wacky warehouse on Sat and a mum of a 5yr old boy acted very strangely....when they were all singing (not loudly at all) , she held her hands over her son's ears. My hubby raised his eyebrows at me as if to say 'why is she doing that?' and I just assumed he had sensitive ears or was afraid of loud noises or something.
Anyway, hubby asked his sis what the story was...and she said the following:
Mum had had 8mcs b4 having her son and was very protective. She held her hands over his ears so as not to hurt them with the 'loud' singing, she stopped my nephew taking a photo of her son so not to hurt his eyes, she lifted him up from the floor so he didn't have to exert himself, she put his shoes on him whilst he was sat on her knee (fair enough i suppose), she physically escorted him through the door (arms round him) whilst her hubby said 'come on poppet' to him!
Now, I'm not against affection, but sil said she's very overprotective and does everything for him.
What do you think?? I feel sorry for the poor lad as very soon he'll be embarrassed by her actions and may end up resenting her. Or am I too cynical? I love all my kids to bits and wouldn't want them to come to any harm, but will wrapping them up in cotton wool help?

Jolli · Jul 22, 2008 4:07PM

yeah i feel very sorry for the child but i think i feel more sorry for the mum. no matter what she does she will never be able to control everything that happens to her child and she must spend her whole life been petrified. life probably isn't much fun for any of them. worrying about your kids is scary enough as it is without been overobsessive about it!

IFindHope · Jul 22, 2008 4:13PM

woahwell i suppose she is extremely insecure about her son being exposed to these things but her poor son is going to be affected i assume he is at school? can he tie his shoes? put his PE kit on? he may be missing out on some important life skills.probably making assumptions and feel for her having gone through that ordeal but she needs to try and embrace his childhood and enjoy it. sounds like she needs help...

mamapink · Jul 22, 2008 4:13PM

Oh dear! Sounds like she could use some therapy! Feel really sorry for her going through so many mcs but as you say she isn't going to help her son by behaving like this.

Someone I worked with has a daughter in law that had OCD and would wash everything several times, and was so scared of dirt and germs etc. The lady I worked with said her little grand daughter started showing similar signs as she was obviously taking the signals from her mum. Very sad!

I wonder what her family make of it all? x

Emalenna · Jul 22, 2008 4:20PM

I agree ... I feel sorry for both of them.... I would imagine he will struggle at school and surely she will find it hard to cope actually letting him go - unless of course she is going to home-school him... The trouble with being so over-protected is that the child will remain a child and will find it very difficult to do anything without 'mummy'... for example...If he doesn't know how to cross a road by himself then what happens when he has too???

alioli123 · Jul 22, 2008 4:24PM

I think dad goes along with it...i didn't even know he was there til hometime. Considering they were the only 2 adults apart from family members who actually stayed....most parents at a 5 yr old party bugger off for some peace and quiet! lol
The worry must be eating away at her....poor woman.

Hollys_mummy · Jul 22, 2008 4:26PM

Deffo sounds like the woman needs some therapy and someone to talk to, I guess its like an illness? Feel very sorry for the little boy and just hope that the mummy realises she needs help other wise I think they are both in for miserable lives. Mum because all she can do is worry about every little detail and the boy because he isn't allowed to experience "normal" childhood things. Im with Liz and wonder what the family think about it all.

-kia- · Jul 22, 2008 4:48PM

That is very sad for her having lost all those babies, but that kind of behaviour is doing neither of them any good... the poor boy needs a chance to do stuff himself and it sounds like she needs someone to talk to!!

campbellly · Jul 22, 2008 5:11PM

Just a thought - could the wee fellow have an autistic spectrum disorder?? Kids with ASD have problems processing sensory information and it could account for a developmental delay hence the picking up etc. Perhaps I'm just feeling in a generous mood today!!!?? It must be the looming prospect of work has got my professional mind in year!!! X

Star11 · Jul 23, 2008 4:11AM

difficult one because i feel sorry for both the mum and boy! i suppose its true there nay be something wrong with him meaning she has to do these things but he'll never learn normal life skills...........

xx

MUM_2_5BABAS · Jul 23, 2008 10:13AM

She's probably so scared of loosing another child. It must be horrific to have a mc, but loosing a child that you have come to know and cherish so much must be devastating. She's just doing an extreme version of protectiveness. Just like we would hold our childs hand crossing a road, or going past a big dog. I feel very bad for her, but for her childs sake, she needs some councilling to overcome her fear of any harm coming to her child and her grief of loosing 8 babies. I think i'd maybe the same!! xx

alioli123 · Jul 23, 2008 4:06PM

Know what you mean about ASD kids campbelly, but no, she was just very overprotective.
I really do wonder how she copes when he's at school, out of her control? Just hope this doesn't affect him or her in the future....

d1ydiva · Jul 23, 2008 4:21PM

There are 2 very important things you have to give your Lo's... One is roots and the other is wings. It's like the old butterfly analogy, if you hold them too tight, you crush their wings. I know too well how easy it would be to be overly protective but, to stifle your child like that could almost border on a type of cruelty. Yes, we need to protect our Lo's but not smother them. When the son finally grows up and grows away from his Mum, she will feel a devastation akin to a bereavment. Poor woman... poor boy.

alioli123 · Jul 24, 2008 6:17AM

Beautifully put Lisa. You of all ppl must feel her hurt but you're sensible enough to know what not to do to a child. x

d1ydiva · Jul 24, 2008 4:40PM

Thanks hun. Yes, I can definitely understand why she's the way she is but, you just have to make yourself step back once in a while and ask yourself 'Is this the way other Mum's behave?'

Bizarre woman?!

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