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The guilt!
Phoebe is three weeks old now and had a few problems breast feeding. She is an excellent feeder, latching on beautifully every time and sore nipples hasn't been an issue, it's my milk supply thats letting me down. i just can't seem to satisfy her. In the first week I started off supplementing my milk with an ounze of formula here and there but now when i express i struggle to get three ounzes from both breasts. I am now having to rely on formula a lot more and i hate it. No -one has even hinted that it's bad im not completely breast feeding but still i feel this huge guilt. I am also constantly worried that it's going to make her put on excessive weight as formula can be quite rich. It's horrible and i wish i could just let go seeing as so many women bottle feed these days and bring up perfectly healthy babies.
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In the end, bf is only best if it works for you and your baby and we shouldn't feel guilty for stopping. I think my milk prod is low and has been with all 3. I know Gracie's getting enough but I can't express even half an ounce!!!
The fun will start next week when I have to do school run - Gracie has 3 feeds once up between 7.30 and 10 ish so I'll more than likely have to give her a bottle of formula 1st thing to fill her up! I'm not going to feel bad tho - the best bit of the milk comes in the 1st few days. Plus she has to fit into family life...and 14 feeds a day, 2 school runs, not to mention house stuff, all take time!
I know it's hard to not feel guilty but I became a much more relaxed mum 1st time round once I'd given up - a great pressure was lifted. I plan to see how things go next week but don't think I'll do much more sole bf. With no. 2 I lasted 8 wk and gave up because no.1 was a right pain when feeding...thought he could get away with alsorts!
Sorry bout the essay - hope you feel better soon.
Ali and Gracie xx
i dont think there is anything wrong with formula milk, it is catered for babies needs and fills them up and you know what theyre getting. also u havent got to bloomin demand feed. if im honest i would have given up bf at the first hurdle if i could afford formula but its too damn expensive for me we are really skint!
dont feel guilty, as long as baby is full and mum and baby are happy surely thats all that matters xxxx
I have had massive problems with bf - tried for 3 days in hospital - she would latch on every time and promptly fall asleep, I was expressing and nothing was coming and I had to deal with a lot of pushy and sometimes aggressive midwives trying to force Amy on me. It only left both Amy and I exhausted and stressed out.
So I made the decision to give up bf and go to formula which took about 3/4 days to establish. The relief was unbelieveable.
I put all our problems down to the fact that I had to have Amy by elective c-section as she was breech and just wasn't ready to come out.
She lost 10oz in her 1st week but is now feeding really well and I don't have to wake her for every feed either.
The mw is coming tomorrow to weigh her again, so fingers crossed that she's started putting some weight on.
I applaud all women who bf and wish I was one of them but sometimes it just doesn't happen for mum or baby. Society is putting massive pressure on new mum's these days to bf, which doesn't make it easy for the mum's who really can't.
I say it is completely up to each individual how they feed their babies and Mum's know best.
As long as baby is well fed and putting on weight, it shouldn't matter where it comes from.
Sorry for the ramble!
xxxx
I have really struggled with Violet - at first her mouth was so small and my nipples so massive that she couldn't do anymore than suck on my nipple! So ended up with cracked bleeding nipples, but carried on breast feeding but she was only putting on 1oz/week, her jaundice wasn't going and neither was the massive lump on her head from where she was born a bit quick. So I tried her with a bottle at nightime just to see if that would help...all of a sudden her poos became the right colour, her jaundice went and the bump started to go down. I know breastfeed her but supplement her with bottles when she is extra hungry, so she sometimes has one in the morning or one at lunchtime and always has a bottle in the evening. I bf solely during the night (luckily she only wakes once, either at 3.30 or 4.30am) and she is now putting on weight really well and is now 9lb 12oz and will be 7 weeks tomorrow. I still worry that she isn't getting enough breast milk, but I know she wouldn't be so happy or content if she was constantly hungry so am just going to continue like this. I am lucky as both my hubby and I work from home and dont have any particular routine to stick to, so during the day she has a boob whenever she wants it!
I bf my others so very easily and my eldest for a year, so it just shows that every baby is so different and just because you bf one doesn't mean you can another, so dont beat yourself up. I will probably switch over to bottles once she is sleeping through the night, as the thought of getting up in the night and warming a bottle is horrid - but remember ladies I am 41 and I need my sleep and will do anything to make life easy!!!!
I has the same problem. phoebe weighed 6lb 4oz when she was born and is still quite small compared to other babies. It took two and a half weeks for her jaundice to finally start going and the midwifes were really pilling on the preasure to flush it through. I suppose every baby is different and my next one might be completely different so thanks thats really made me feel more confident in myself. Being only 23 it's hard not to get swept up with other peoples opinions on whats right and whats wrong x
Im so pleased to read all the above, the important thing is that baby is not hungry, its naughty that there is so much pressure to bf really. No one has ever said to me that i may need to supliment or what to do if there are probs with the feeding, luckily i have good parents who encouraged us to give holly that first bottle to settle her, many others are not so lucky. Blimey, this mortherhood stuff is not easy is it!! xxx
Not tried bottle yet but will do this wkend as don't want her to reject it when I stop bf.
Woke up this morning with one of my boobs aching and used the technique they should me in hospital to manually express some and was overjoyed that I actually had some milk coming out!! Lo was hungry and I managed to feed him for 40 minutes, not sure how much but as he was still hungry when he stopped we gave him a bottle to top him up but he only wanted 10ml so he must have got a reasonable amount from me.
Think I am going to mix bottle and breast now as I don't think my supply is going to be able to keep up with his appetite but we will see.
You are all right, there is too much pressure on you to breast feed and although a lot of the midwifes at the hospital were fantastic at helping me with him the one that made me feel like poo because she obviously didn't think I could be bothered really had a bad effect on me. You feel like such a failure which is total rubbish.
So lucky we have each other to talk to and compare notes, you have all made me feel so much better.
Liz xx
Sometimes it still gets to me that I am not fully bf and it would be so much easier if I was, but then sometimes I think that when they are formula fed they get into a routine more quickly! Its all swings and roundabouts and as long as we can try and remember we should just do what works for us. We have to be happy mummy's and to be honest baby wont mind where the food comes from...as long as they get it when they want it!!!
I certainly dont feel guilty when I have bf then topped up with a bottle and have a very heavy happy baby in my arms...that is pure contentment as far as I am concerned and means I am doing the best I can as a mummy!
C.xxx