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sorry not been on for ages.....
hi all - im so sorry not been on for ages and havent had chnace to read your posts i feel awful but im hoping one day soon things will be bit easier and i will have maybe one min to myself!!!
things still very hard work - hubby much better with mason but still wont feed/change or have him so i could pop out! think he is now scared in a weired way as he feels he just doesnt know what to do with him! this seems strange because he did everything with fin and i could leave him for whole day or go out on a night but something has kncoked him - whoich has made things very difficult at home and for me coping! feel like got in to some bad habits and mason prob clingy to me... as so tired have no energy to implement a bedtime routine as such as i know it will mean nights or crying etc and dont think can do it at mo!
any tips on routines etc would be much appreciated, espcially those of you with more than one!
daytime plods along depending on how the night was really - this is difficult as never really know where i am with feeds/naps etc dont seem to have a plan in place if you get me and this i am not very good at - i like to know whats happening!
evening we bath boys together at 7 and then i feel mason and hubby sits with fin on sofa whilst he has his milk then hubby takes fin to bed and the evening begins for me - mason then wants entertaining and sometimes by 8 he is tired but have tried putting him to bed but wont happen after 10 mins is wide awake - sometimes naps in swing in lounge then wakes and is wide awake sometimes happy others not and its horrible as im tired and have to try keep him calm when he had belly ache or wnats to poo or something! then between 9.30 and 10 when he seems very hungry i take him up to bedroom in dark and feed him in bed - i then have to ly with him and try to get him off holding dummy in etc... i usually fall aleep it takes that long and wake hours later... when he goes off and i havent conked i try moving him to basket... he then wakes usually 2ish then 5ish then 8ish.... but all these times awake for ages and takes him being in bed with me etc to get him off...
sometimes like this morning he woke at 5 and was trumping but it was obviously bothering him as wriggerling/grunting/crying etc had to put dummp in etc for hours but it seemed he was semi asleep in then end got a bottle as hed woke himself up and wouldnt go back off!
i cant seem to figure out how i can get him settled in basket bit earlier so have at leats hour on own or with hubby.. then to get him down quicker in night??? doesnt help having him in our room as woith fin he was in his own room at 2 weeks much better for me and hubby and also with being strickter on letting him cry a bit etc...
i feel a bit depressed and hv and docs know this - they have been nice and think its more having such diffiucult time of it over xmas etc and they witnessed mason being very windy and unsettled and they agreed it would send anyone round the bend! they are just monitoring me but think more sleep deprived and i do suffer from worrying and feeling anxious anyway whcih doesnt help!!!
liz has sent me some lovely emails with tips and she will never know how mcub i appreciate them - and also a website that is about babies and sleep - i am tempted to pay ??50 for a 7 day consultationa nd a mentor works woth you via internet for those days and helps you implement routine etc.... hubby would think silly but im so tempted and whats ??50 if it means we are all happier and hubby can come back to bed!!!
xxxx
things still very hard work - hubby much better with mason but still wont feed/change or have him so i could pop out! think he is now scared in a weired way as he feels he just doesnt know what to do with him! this seems strange because he did everything with fin and i could leave him for whole day or go out on a night but something has kncoked him - whoich has made things very difficult at home and for me coping! feel like got in to some bad habits and mason prob clingy to me... as so tired have no energy to implement a bedtime routine as such as i know it will mean nights or crying etc and dont think can do it at mo!
any tips on routines etc would be much appreciated, espcially those of you with more than one!
daytime plods along depending on how the night was really - this is difficult as never really know where i am with feeds/naps etc dont seem to have a plan in place if you get me and this i am not very good at - i like to know whats happening!
evening we bath boys together at 7 and then i feel mason and hubby sits with fin on sofa whilst he has his milk then hubby takes fin to bed and the evening begins for me - mason then wants entertaining and sometimes by 8 he is tired but have tried putting him to bed but wont happen after 10 mins is wide awake - sometimes naps in swing in lounge then wakes and is wide awake sometimes happy others not and its horrible as im tired and have to try keep him calm when he had belly ache or wnats to poo or something! then between 9.30 and 10 when he seems very hungry i take him up to bedroom in dark and feed him in bed - i then have to ly with him and try to get him off holding dummy in etc... i usually fall aleep it takes that long and wake hours later... when he goes off and i havent conked i try moving him to basket... he then wakes usually 2ish then 5ish then 8ish.... but all these times awake for ages and takes him being in bed with me etc to get him off...
sometimes like this morning he woke at 5 and was trumping but it was obviously bothering him as wriggerling/grunting/crying etc had to put dummp in etc for hours but it seemed he was semi asleep in then end got a bottle as hed woke himself up and wouldnt go back off!
i cant seem to figure out how i can get him settled in basket bit earlier so have at leats hour on own or with hubby.. then to get him down quicker in night??? doesnt help having him in our room as woith fin he was in his own room at 2 weeks much better for me and hubby and also with being strickter on letting him cry a bit etc...
i feel a bit depressed and hv and docs know this - they have been nice and think its more having such diffiucult time of it over xmas etc and they witnessed mason being very windy and unsettled and they agreed it would send anyone round the bend! they are just monitoring me but think more sleep deprived and i do suffer from worrying and feeling anxious anyway whcih doesnt help!!!
liz has sent me some lovely emails with tips and she will never know how mcub i appreciate them - and also a website that is about babies and sleep - i am tempted to pay ??50 for a 7 day consultationa nd a mentor works woth you via internet for those days and helps you implement routine etc.... hubby would think silly but im so tempted and whats ??50 if it means we are all happier and hubby can come back to bed!!!
xxxx
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Replies
Charlotte it sounds like you are having a bad time of it and an army of nannies couldn't cope!
Im not sure fifty quid is worth it for interent advice - should think it will be all youve already heard/read.
What about craniopathy (sp?) and baby massage.
Big hugs hope thing improve.
I have to say I agree with El I dont think spending ??50 on the internet will help much, have you got a specialist sleep HV you can ask to see? I know a lot of places have these now or you can ask to be refered to one?
Sorry I havent been much help but Im sending big hugs and I really hope things get easier for you soon.
Amy xxx
How is Fin's sleep and routine going through all this?
I would def recommend baby massage and how about after that 7ish feed you have the basket/crib downstairs with you and he goes in it - Max used to sleep much better downstairs with light,noise, tV etc at that age.
I would really not try to think about bad habits at this stage whatever gets you through you can break habits later.
Max was terrible for grunting,groaning etc in his sleep/semisleep and like you say it was better once he was in his own room - is this really not an option yet?
Sorry not many ideas for you!
Really hope things pick up, if hubby feels awkward just try and involve him without him realising, like asking him to grab the bottle because you've got to change sheets or something......good luck and hope you feel more normal soon, take care x
[Modified by: bluey on January 22, 2010 10:18 AM]
As the others have said don't stress too much about routine at the moment. It is more about getting Mason to settle a bit better inbetween feeds at the moment that I think you need.
I agree with the others that ??50 is a lot to spend on advise but having seen the site it may be worth it. They do give you 1:1 advice and support and seem to know their stuff. I would suggest maybe giving Wendy who runs the site an e-mail and seeing if she thinks there is anything radical they can do for Mason first as he is still so young.
I think it is important your hubby starts to do more and more for Mason to build the relationship. I am sure he will find it easier over the next few weeks and months as Mason interacts more and you get smiles etc.
Main thing is to try and find time for you so you can relax a little and try not to worry so much!! My brother is a big worrier and he finds it helps to write things down so hopefully venting on here and on email helps you.
As I always say just wish I lived nearby so I could offer better support. We are coming back to the UK at the end of Feb and it looked at first like we would be flying to stansted and driving up to Yorkshire from there so I had thought I could maybe arrange to call in on you but the flights were expensive so we are flying to a different airport now at the other side of the country! Typical! Maybe have to arrange a meet up this summer as we will be driving back through Europe again so should have more time.
Enough of my waffle!! Take it easy hun, remember you're not superwoman so don't beat yourself up about feeling shattered and needing help. It will get better soon, I reckon Mason will start to sleep really well in the next couple of months. xxxx
ps this probably isn't an ideal suggestion at this time of year but have you tried bundling Mason up in lots of blankets after his bath and taking him for a walk? someteimes the fresh air and the movement of the pram can help.
well i've come to conclusion i dont think im helping myself!
firstly he seems more settled than he used to be with the colic etc......... he does obviously suffer with wind etc as early morning he is awful andf wakes himself up with attemting to fart and poo etc...
SO - because of this i am thinking should i get bit tougher and really try gto get him off in cot/basket in day for at least 1 nap and if he wakes go in to resettle but leave him in there for hour say whatever...thought if tried this every day he may learn that is nap time - this may be me just dreaming!
also then i thought if i crack him going off better then he may be better at night rather than him sleeping in bed with me then me moving him!
last night he had feed at 5pm then was wide awake till bath at 7 - so you would think fab he will have bath some milk then go off till next feed BUT NOPE! he did zonk whilst feeding so i lay him down rather than me holding him and then after 40mins he woke and wasa wide awake, then that was it for evening but he was hard work he wasnt crying as such but couldnt have him in swing or laying had to hold him and be entertaining and re-plugging dummy etc... then i took him up at 10pm and fed in bedroom but again he was wide awake but i just dont understand you would think he should be very tired and have feed be full and go sleep...............i dont even know what time he went off as had him in bed with me as he wouldnt go down and i fell asleep!!!
xxx
I can totally sympathise with the sleep deprivation, what with cole not sleeping well for the last year. Yawn!
Anyway - I'm wondering - have you only tried normal formula with him? I know milk intolerances is a bit on my brain at the mo what with cole being diagnosed as milk protein intolerance and thats whats causing him being unsettled at night, but also from what you said he sounds like he's a bit constipated and so was my nephew and sil/bil had lots of trouble with him until he was found to be milk protein intolerant and he's now on a formula called neocate (its dairy free but not soya either -apparenlty they don't like to put lo's on soya formula any more) and he's doing really well.
Dunno if that helps or not as a random suggestion but thought it worth mentioning.
The photos on fb are gorgeous - think I forgot to comment lol! Can't believe fin's gorgeous hair.. so cute.
Hope you get Mason sorted out soon
xxx
The pictures are gorgeous, you have two fantastic boys xx
i feel so bad not getting on as much as used to - and i need to get reading your posts rather than ranting on about me all the time!!!!
anyway - mason is much better we have tried basically everything now and for a while have stuck with Aptimal Comfort which is designed for babies with colic and the gaviscon.
im trying to get him in cot when looking tired for nap - doesnt always work as out a lot and then gets overtired etc... but getting there! also awake most evenings but seems to give in and nap either straight after bath then awake till next feed or awake till 8.30/9 then naps till next feed! also i have noticed he is having 7oz bottle at 10.30 then when he wakes in night its bottom wind - it seems to hurt him and he trumps these massive powerful farts... but it goes on and on and he gets all upset and obviously has tummy ache... this can happen anytime from 1.30am till 3.30ish - last night he kept waking and going through this but drifting off again but by 3 had woken.. i kept him going with dummy and then at 4.30 he was at it still so got him bottle he only took 1oz so obviously wasnt actually hungry or needed feed it was more to help get back off and stop him from trying to push wind out... so the annoying thing is he may well go through night iof only i could sort of wind!
none of the remedies work although friend said perhaps try giving him gripe water or sumit when he first wakes with it as may ease it!
hubby also building him a bedroom in part of our lounge.................I know that sounds soooo weird but our lounge has 2 bits and one bit is only used for fin to play in and the stairs up to our rooms are there so the courner where there is a window and little cupboards we are plasterboarding and making him his very own box.... it will only be until we do extention (whenever that will be) and it really will be a box only fitting cot end to end and the rocking chair thats it but that way out of our room and me feeding in bed etc and hubby can come back to bed!
hubby much better although wouldnt say doing much but he is working like mad at mo and shattered when he finally sits down at 10pm... but my friends having girlie night next fri so im going round when fin in bed for takeaway and will get back for 10/10.30 feed but he will have him for evening - he is very willing now but think worried as last time was when he was tiny and screaming for hours on end... the other prob is he isnt exactly in good mood in evening and sometimes naps other doesnt but he knows he has to have him!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Glad to hear things are getting better, did you ever pluck up courage to try the pick up put down method with him?
Really good that hubby is getting better too and that you are getting a night out on Friday. Hubby and I are hoping for our first night out together for nearly a year when we got back to the UK at the end of Feb as my lovely Mum has offered to babysit! I can't wait, just hoping our friends can get a babysitter for their kids so they can join us.
Hopefully the days will start to get lighter soon too which I think always helps if you have to get up early with los!
We have all just had the dreaded noro virus and been really poorly with it, the boys weren't too bad but hubby and I felt like death. I even passed out on my way out of the bathroom but luckily hubby managed to catch me before I hit the floor! On a plus side despite his naps and food being all over the place while we were ill Jacob slept through for two nights in a row! He slept from 9pm until 6:30am the first night and then 7pm until 7am the next night! So nice to have a full nights sleep for the first time in about 10 months! On the down side the past two nights have been rubbish as Brendan has his back teeth coming through and has been waking in the night with that, and Jacob has been distrubed as a result so last night I was up from 3am until 6am trying to settle them! In the end hubby got up and took over so I could get an hours sleep before he had to go to work *yawn*.
Is there a test they can give Mason to see if he is lactose intolerant? I watched that 'embarrassing bodies' on tv the other night and they were talking about it and said you produce a huge amount more wind if you are lactose intolerant and drink milk. Would it be worth asking your hv if he could be switched to a totally lactose free one like soya or something to see if that makes even more improvement?
Other thing is if he wakes in the night for a bottle give him really dilute formula or just cooled boiled water so he loses the habit of wanting food. The cooled boiled water may help his wind too.
Take care xxx
Really glad hubby's better too, babies can be really straining on a relationship when you've had very little sleep. Oh and enjoy your night out! x
Try keeping notes of his eating/behaviour to back up stuff if yo do go to the gp for a dietician referral.
Ali - wonky willies?! glad i missed it lol
just trying to catch up on everyones posts!
were plodding along this end!
mason still awake evening may nod off napping in basket in lounge but thats it - hubby built him a bedroom in end of lounge - sounds strange i know but looks good and done it all nice so just gotta finish plastering and paint it then move him in! im semi dreading it as will prob be up and down all night but it needs to be done... also want to try tackle getting him down in evening - not sure the best thing to do as he doesnt nap really and if he does its rubbish naps so usually overtired but then still wont go off! its nearly lunch and he is still wide awake but wingy and will not go off in cot tried for hour, now he is in swing but having none of it!