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What the .....? Not baby related

I will try to keep this short as I can as this will be the second time I wrote this - it disappeared last night. And thank you in advance for any replies I just need to get it all out as I can't vent with friends....

An old college friend of mine got engaged to her boyfriend of 10 yrs, they are a lovely couple and I'm so pleased for them. A lot of our college group went to uni in different parts of the country and then stayed there afterwards. We all have a big meet up at Christmas and at other times if possible (this is harder for me with having a family). I had an email through in May with as a save the date, it had details of the wedding, the venue and hotel details as well, it is on a Friday which is a bit of a pain but having planned a biggish wedding myself I know it can be hard to get A Saturday. My hubby booked the day off work, I braced myself for asking my head for the a day of unpaid leave, my MIL looks after Oakley on a Friday but I asked her to have DD1 when she got back from school and have the dog and for them all to sleep there. I have had emails through about the hen weekend which unfortunately is the weekend my hubby is working but have made arrangements for my Mum to have kids. I have seen her this summer she came round with another college friend for dinner and drinks and we were chatting about my wedding and her upcoming wedding and the other friend's wedding next summer. Well I had the invite through yesterday and it's an evening invite!!!! What the.....!?! And not only that it says children are welcome, well I wondered whether she would invite children as her brother has children but I didn't want to presume or ask and as she didn't mention it I presumed that she would do what most do and say no children.

I DO completely understand that when organising a wedding numbers are tricky, but she has not said to me that it will be a small wedding just for families and close friends and the venue is big. And why would you send out a save the date with details of hotels to an evening guest especially as it is a Friday and it means time off work? As I'm typing this I'm getting more and more upset, I wish she had told me that due to numbers we would be evening guests. Now I don't know what to do? Go back to my head and say sorry for mucking you around, cancel the supply we are only evening guests of the wedding I told you about where I said it was a dear old friend. Don't know whether to take the children now, but we have booked the hotel (And had to pay upfront) and it's only a small double room (normal doubles were from ??180 but we booked a small for ??120 as we knew we wouldn't be spending much time in it, so it's not like they can put in another bed and cot). I thought writing it all down would help but actually it's just got me more upset.:cry:

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    oh sweetie what a nightmare!

    for whatever reason they have obviously had to cut back - weddings are a nightmare and unfortunatly someone gets hurt or left out! its wrong that they sent save the date and also was round talking about it and didnt say anything - naughty but not much you can say now!

    i would just leave it as day off (pain i know) and go for evening and have a good night away from kiddies and use the hotel - you may as well now! also make the day of it and find something to do in the afternoon so not wasting day! leave kids as arranged and enjoy it as a couple and have a drink!!

    xxx
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    Oh what a pain! It is very unusual to get a save the date card for just an evening do, so I know where you're coming from.
    This is what I'd do....
    Tell my boss the whole tale and ask him/her to cancel the supply and that you'll work that day (even if wedding was only a week off, that'd be more than enough time).
    Then, still get mil to have Oakley and dd1, go to the evening do and stay overnight still. That way, you get a fab night together with hubby, minus the kids and haven't lost any pay or room cancellation fees! And you can get ratted!;\)
    Hope it works out for you whatever you do x
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    I totally understand you feeling upset, you have gone to a lot of hassle to make sure you can be there on your friends big day. As the others have said though it sounds like maybe she has had to make last minute changes to numbers to save on money maybe? Do you have any other friends that have been sent an evening invite too?

    I agree with Ali, that way you at least don't waste a days pay and I am sure your head will understand. After all you did expect it to be a day invite and really wanted to be there.
    Try not to feel too upset about it, I bet your friend is really embarressed to be cutting back on numbers and feels awful about it too. xxx
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    I agree. I would feel the same though, and feel hurt about it, but im sure it was just a practical decision and not personal. Hope you have a nice night out anyway xxx
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    Oh I dont blame you for feeling upset - why on earth couldn't they have said it was evening only.

    I'd go with what everyone else has said - work the day and go and have a good time at night, stay in the hotel as you've paid for it and have a nice lie in

    xx
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