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Think I'm showing signs of pnd again

I was really worried all the way through this pregnancy that I'd suffer again but I think I might be. I've not been coping well at all and spend most of each day in tears. I've become really short tempered and feel awful and guilty as I keep shouting at Rhys over nothing. By the time Jay's home from work I honestly feel like I could just walk out to get away from it all. I spoke to the hv about it and she thinks I need to see my gp as I scored 16 on that test thing and she said the normal range is btw 6 & 8. Jay feels horrible as he just sees me so upset all the time and he just doesn't know how he can help me (neither do I lol)
Being second time round I should feel confident doing what I'm doing, but I question myself over everything and feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I don't think this was helped by the doc at the hospital making me feel like such a bad mummy by saying \i was overfeeding him and that's why he was being so sick (he was having 4-5 oz every 4-5hrs at 6 weeks) ordinarily I would have taken it with a pinch of salt but I really took it to heart.

I just want to be happy and enjoy being with my boys as having Alfie has really made me realise how fast it all goes as it doesn't seem 2 minutes ago that Rhys was this small.

Sorry for moaning on I just thought it might help to get it all out x


  • Hey chick, we are all here to listen to you and feel free to come and have a rant or a moan any time. I think the last few weeks have been really hard for you with Alfie not well and not trying to potty train you havent had a chance to sit back relax and enjoy the boys iykwim. Its no wonder you feel stressed and can't wait for Jay to come home, anyone would feel the same in your situation and looking after your neighbours kids the other day you sound like super mum!
    I think maybe when things calm down a bit you will feel better, it sounds to me like you havent stopped and need a bit of a rest and some sleep! Is there any way Jay or someone you trust can take the boys for a few hours to let you rest? If there is then why dont you see how you feel this time next week and if you dont feel any better then make an appointment to see the doctor?
  • I have to say I'd agree with hollys mum, looking after one child is hard enough, you've been looking after 2, and one has not been well. It's no wonder you're struggling and you can't expect to be supermum because you may have 'done it all before'but you did it with being able to devote all your attention onto 1 child. You probably are needing a break and just a little bit of you time. I would imagine worrying you might get pnd probably isn't helping you as you'll be jumping on every symptom too. Definitely listen to hv and see your dr but please try to take a deep breath, know you're doing a fantastic job and Boone said it would be easy, take care x
  • How you feeling today Becci?
    It does sound like you may be getting PND although it could just be that you are doing too much. It seems to me you are doing a great job with the two boys. Perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed as youre expecting too much from yourself?
    Liek the others said, if you can, try and take some time to chill, even if you cant get time on your own, have a duvet day with Rhys and just watch dvds.
    Ive been feeling overwhelmed with just one child recently & I often end up shouting when i cant cope, which i hate doing! Try not to be too hard on yourself and go to docs if it carries on hun xx
  • HI Becci - so sorry to hear you're having such a crap time. Did you manage to see your GP? I hope they are able to help and glad your hv was able to spot it. I really struggled after Noah was born because I felt like such a good mum after Zach - what I've now realised is was he was a good baby and I had it easy! Noah was hard work and Zach, not being an only child any longer, became more demanding. I thought it would be just as easy having a second as I already had a child and the baby would just fit in. I have to honestly say it was far harder adjusting to having a second child than it was to having a first.
    It was a real shock to the system and it sounds like you've had lots more to cope with and its understandable that you are feeling the way you are. Take any offers of help while the opportunity is there and if you can have a day watching tv or listening to music and having cuddles - then it sounds like a good idea to me!
    Moan to us any time you like and let us know how you're getting on!! big hugs xxx
  • Becci sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish I felt over whelemed (sp?) and teary when both mine hit 8 - 11 weeks. Couldn't work out why, I could put some reasons to it, tired, stressed, bit unwell or baba unwell but it really was just hormones going hay wire and you really feel you have no right to feel that way because you are so lucky and blessed. But you just can't reason your way out or shake it. See your GP and see what s/he thinks. Meanwhile keep moaning to us!

    BIG hugs x
  • Thanks for letting me moan. I've had a much better week this week. Think it helped that I properly spoke to Jay about it all and he's been makingsure I get a bit of time to relax on my own to chill out. I've not had chance to see the gp yet for me (been up there 3 times last week for Alfie's jabs, assesment, my post natal check etc). Going to try and go this week but my hv coming to see me again on wed to see how I am again.
  • Glad to hear you're feeling better, this motherhood job is bloody hard! I feel stressed most days at some point or other!
    Keep gettin your chill time and share on here if you're not coping too well, we all understand. x
  • How you doing Becci? Hope all is well - big hugs x
  • Oh hun, you are doing a fab job. It does sound like the PND creeping back so go and see your GP asap!
    I've had a lot of days where I have just wanted to scream and it is usually when I have had little sleep (due to Jacob normally!) and Bren is being a little monkey and I feel like everything is getting on top of me. I don't know the meaning of 'me' time anymore as any spare time I have is spent doing jobs to keep on top of everything. My 'luxury' thing to do is bake or do some more self stufy to learn Norwegian! It is hard work being a mummy to two, although very rewarding as well, and I imagine with the very slightest amount of pnd the whole thing can seem like too much.

    I'm really glad you managed to talk to Jay about it and things have improved, fingers crossed they continue to do so but come and talk on here whenever you need to. xxxx
  • well reading your post sweetie was like just reading about me - so perhaps i did have PND although my hv was lovely and said that she thinks it was more extreme baby blues and slight pnd - she said she thinks it was more the fact that mason was a nightmare baby and i was getting as little as an hour sleep and then looking after both boys all day with snow outside - hubby back at work day after i came home, i was only in hospital for about 3 hours after giving birth and had a birthday party for fin the next day.........ALL FAR TOO MUCH!

    me to feel like doing everything wrong - question everything - im forever txting friends that have only just had first asking them questions and i feel so daft as they must think shes had one already!!!

    i analise everything my mum says far too much and dont just enjoy the time - every morning i then go over the night before and what could i do different that day to try get it better....

    the constant winging from mason - to be fare is a hppy little boy now but wants attention and with fin and house etc just dont fell have got the time to give properly!!!

    i started snapping at finlay - i never ever usedto shout etc so then he would look sooo scared and sob is heart out and then i got more stressed as maon would start!

    anyway sorry for ramble just wanted to say i have been there not so long ago and i was honest with hv which was actually a good thing rather than pretending - they did noithing apart from keep in contact with me! i scored 11 first time round then 14 at about 10 weeks!

    did you have medication with rhys??? if so do get to docs and see what they say as the sooner you can get on top of it the better!!!

    but my god it is hard work with 2...........................!!!

    is alfie good? do you get much sleep?

  • Alfie is really good and I'm only up once in the night so can't even blame not sleeping. It's rhys I'm finding hard work at the minute as he's very demanding and I feel really guilty that I'm not giving him the attention he needs but then I also feel guilty that I'm not giving alfie much attention as I'm trying to occupy rhys and keep the flat in some sort of reasonably tidy state I feel like I'm just plonking him in his chair or moses basket all the time.

    I was on medication for a few months after having rhys.I've decided to go on tuesday to speak to the doc. I'd been doing really well, hv came back and said I seemed like a different person etc and then out of nowhere I just felt like I went really down again and had a bad few days. Alfie was off the other day and pretty whingy all evening and I just couldn't cope with it and ended up sat outside in the garden in the rain for about an hour bawling my eyes out (jay was home I didn't just abandon the boys)

    I'm just really thankful that I have a lot of support both on here and in real life x

  • Hi Becci - Sorry you've been having such a rubbish time - I remember how it feels. Having 2 small children isn't easy and you are doing a fab job and don't forget that. Take care sweetie - thinking of you and really hope you get plenty of help and understanding. xx
  • Sorry you are having a bad time of it, I struggle with Philip and the 2 step kids, and feel that i am always shouting and have no patience, it is soo bloody hard being a mum, if Rhys is as active, energetic and demanding as Philip i'm not surprised you are struggling. Hope the GP has been on some help and is looking after you.

    Hugs x
  • hope you get on ok at docs!!!

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