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Tantrums!!!

blueyblueyblueybluey
in My baby was born in Dec 07
Well I worked last week for the first time since Elijah was born & as you all know by now, Elijah was really ill with a throat infection for the whole week. Obviously I still had to go into work as it was only one week I had been offered. It went great for me, i really enjoyed getting out, but have never left Elijah when ill, not even with hubby. My Mum was fine with him but she's not me image

Anyway, since ive been home this week, he has started being a right scamp! I cant work out whether it is because he's annoyed & confused that I left him, or whether the tantrums have just started properly now! (Or a mix of the two.)
He has started shouting at me "I dont want it!" "I dont like it!" Really loud & yesterday he pinched me and shouted at me, so I put him straight down and said "no, thats naughty, you musnt pinch" and i walked out. Well this started him screaming & crying. When I went into his bedroom a few minutes later to ask if he wanted a cuddle, he shouted "I dont want it! I dont want a cuddle." So i said "Mummy will be in the other room when you want a cuddle." He was still crying after about 15mins so i went back in and said "its ok you dont need to be upset" after that he let me cuddle him, but hes never been like this before! I think I handled it as best as i could but it upsets me he feels so angry! Any tips or ideas why hes suddenly doing this? Also, if it is just the 'terrible twos' how long is it meant to last?!!! :roll: xxx

Replies

  • mamapinkmamapink
    It could be related to last week but then again Brendan has started being like this too so I think it is generally an age thing! I try and ignore Brendan if he has a paddy, and if I have no idea why he is having a paddy I kneel down to his level and tell him to calm down and tell me what he is feeling sad and angry. If he is naughty and hits out or throws something then I tell him to calm down or he will go to his room. If he continues then again I kneel down to his level and tell him he needs to calm down, he is being naughty, and that if he doesn't stop he will go to his room. If he carries on I take him straight to his room, tell him why he is there and that he will stay there for 5 mins to think about what he has done, and that when I get back I want him to say sorry. Usually when I go back in he has calmed down and gives me a kiss and a cuddle so he can come back into the living room. If he hasn't calmed down and won't say sorry I tell him he has to wait another 5 minutes.

    I'm not sure that is the right thing to do but it seems to work reasonably well at the moment. It is worse when you are out somewhere as there isn't much you can do about it but thankfully Brendan isn't so bad when there is plenty going on around him. xxx
  • blueyblueyblueybluey
    Ahh! Ive had a terrible day today, am so stressed. Its anything & everything he is getting upset at. Even getting in his bath which he loved before image Have tried to make it fun like blowing his bubbles in there but it all just turned out miserable and a struggle image xx
  • alioli123alioli123
    I may be the bearer of bad news...!?! Charlie hit the terribles at 18m and they lasted til about 4yr. And he still paddies now at 7yr!!!
    Alfie hit them when he was 4yr old!
    I would say he may be reacting to you being away, but that also he's a typical boy. You're doing a great job doing what you did and the key is to be consistent.
    Gracie can have a temper, but is not like Charlie was hurting me or others (touchwood!).
    Hope he gets back to normal soon for you, it really does make you feel rubbish doesn't it? x
  • IFindHopeIFindHope
    god it does make ya feel rubbish! terrible 2s are in the air!
    ryan started his about 18 months but with his speech being quite good we now talk him out of his paddys. he can tell me he is happy, sad or cross which just makes me smile as its cute! it has taken time but i think they just dont understand their feelings at this age and with the week at work he might be confused. he knows mummy loves him and that he has lots of new feelings, and physical strength to exert! now elijah be nice to mummy tomorrow! ( i did a lot of bribery with santa.. still do... and now the easter bunny is a good one... the easter bunny is going to phone mummy to see if you have been a good boy!)
    xxxxx
  • xxxElxxxxxxElxxx
    Lo can be like this and most of the times the naughty corner works brilliantly but sometimes not!

    His favourite thing to do is to repeatedly shout NO at me. When he is in a paddy and I give him 2 choices I just get NO back at me.

    Think it's the age and they will react to changes in routinue and act out more.
  • Star11Star11
    oh yes finlay has def hit terrible twos and gets soooooooooooo distraute over what seems like nothing! i try to distract but sometimes he is a horror!!!! finlay speak very well - too well if they can as he will say full sentences and shout and argue with us and tell us he is sad and annoyed - etc.... if he doesnt like something we have given him say food now he shout discusting - little mokey and then if we stay firm he seriously kicks off!!!

    its def tantrums as he can be an angel and usually the tantrums are over the silliest thing and he gets so upset he even forgets what he is crying about....

    anyway sorry ramble - just think we are going to not give in, distract if can and use the 'naughty courner or similar and see what happens!!!

  • blueyblueyblueybluey
    Thankyou all for replies.
    Well the last 2 days havent been as bad as the beginning of the week. He is still having tantrums so obviously its the age, but theyre not as bad as they were to start with.

    Me & hubby figured out that as well as me working last week & Elijah being really ill, hubby hasnt spent alot of time with Elijah at all lately due to working late & getting in when hes in bed. Elijah loves his time with daddy, so we think that perhaps everything together was too much.

    Today with his tantrums I either diverted by distraction or a different choice from what he asked for, and once i warned him if he hurt me he would go in his cot. When he then did, i put him in his cot alone for 2 mins. Think he will get the idea the more i do this. So dont feel as stressed & although its still tough, i think he was worse at beginning of week due to all those factors. Hope all the lo's behave for their mummies this week! xxx
  • mamapinkmamapink
    One warning about putting him in his cot if he is naughty Bluey, we did this with Bren at one stage and then started having awful problems getting him to go to bed as he associated it with being naughty! So now I don't say I'm putting you to bed I just say you will have to go to your room if you keep being naughty. We have a safety gate on his bedroom door so I can shut him in. I know friends who use other rooms such as a dining room if you have one separate to your living room.
    Fingers crossed some time with daddy helps sort his tantrums out xxx
  • blueyblueyblueybluey
    Thanks Liz, yes i did click about that today & thought it may become negative for him, so will just remove him from the room from now on image x
  • Pootle_OBPootle_OB
    Have been relatively lucky so far and not too many major tantrums! We are also usually able to talk him out of tantrums by explaining why he can't have ... and then giving him a choice of what he can have - usually related to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, "I WANT IT ON"! he did have a full blown lying on the floor kcicking and screaming the other day so we all ignored him, when he stopped kicking i asked him if he had finished "yes" he said so i asked if he knew why he was upset "no" he said! Never did get to the bottom of what it was!

    He does go on the stairs if he is naughty, wouldn't dare send him to his room, he'd be up on the top bunk if he was in there unsupervised!

    Hope time with Daddy helps him x

  • Pootle_OBPootle_OB
    Have been relatively lucky so far and not too many major tantrums! We are also usually able to talk him out of tantrums by explaining why he can't have ... and then giving him a choice of what he can have - usually related to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, "I WANT IT ON"! he did have a full blown lying on the floor kcicking and screaming the other day so we all ignored him, when he stopped kicking i asked him if he had finished "yes" he said so i asked if he knew why he was upset "no" he said! Never did get to the bottom of what it was!

    He does go on the stairs if he is naughty, wouldn't dare send him to his room, he'd be up on the top bunk if he was in there unsupervised!

    Hope time with Daddy helps him x

  • d1ydivad1ydiva
    I'm with you all on finding this a VERY testing time!! If I was sure I didn't want to have another Lo before, I am now absolutely positive!! They can just be downright evil sometimes, can't they?? I always say 'Do you want me to send your trampoline back?' which usually does the trick. I told her I would smack her bum the other day (I wouldn't really) and she ran off, picked up a gift bag, thrust it at me and shouted 'Happy Mother's Day!!!'
    I couldn't help but laugh!!
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