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breast Feeding and weight loss

Another ramble about feeding!! Wilfy was breech so i had a planned C section. He weighed 6lb 15oz From day one we had problems breast feeding, at first he would get very frustrated as he was having problems latching on, once he latched on i thought he was feeding fine. Sometimes it would take up to an hour of screaming first!! We were discharged from hospital after 3 days and i still thought things were going reasonably well, although i would have to express a little milk off first before he could feed. On the second day home the midwife weighed him and to my horror he lost 13% of his body weight and only weighed 6lb. The mw was also a bit shocked and referred me to a feeding specialist straight away. To cut a long story short after 3weeks he wasnt gaining weight just staying the same. This was both stressfull and frustrating. What i am angry about is that not once was i advised the choice of top up feeds with formula. The specialist MW wanted me to take some medication that would be prescribed for a stomach upset (which i didnt have) one of the side effects of this medicine was to produce more milk. She also suggested feeding him expressed milk through a tube fed into his mouth whilst at the same time breast feeding!! This was 3 weeks after he was born and i already felt under imense pressure. It was me that had to suggest formula feeds and breast feeding, which i was told in a non supportive way that this could be an option. So for a week now that is what i have been doing and its the best thing i have done. He is now 6lb9oz and the relief is huge. He is more content as before he was obviously not getting enough food. It turns out that i am only producing 50% of his needs. So i ask what is the problem with topping the other 50% up with formula? It is about time the government and ultimately the NHS stop pressurising us women into breast feeding, surely if i had continued with just breast feeding it would have been detremental to my baby. In my opinion he is now getting the best of both. You hear of breast feeding support groups all the time, what about feeding support groups or dare i say it bottle feeding support groups!!
Anyway sorry to rant but i am so angry about the pressure we feel under. Mums know best and dont i now know it!!!

Replies

  • I think this needs to be addressed, look at all ofus with our different stories and this one is appauling. your baby obviously needed something more substantial and i think with todays lifestyles being so different to ten or a hundred years ago breast milk may not always be enough for baby for many reasons.
    my health visitor annoyed me actually as i expected more advice to help more persevere with ryans breast feeding but instead shesaid oh everyone gives up around 4-6 weeks cos of the growth spurt. i was quite annoyed as i didnt really want to give up but thought seeing as there is so much pressure to bf from EVERYWHERE she might have some tips for settling him and more successful feeding while he goes through this stage. but no. she just said if i want to give him a bottle then go for it. which is lovely to hear aswell but im so confused. all the hype and pressure but little support when i needed it.
    everyone's experiences are different and im now at the point where i will scream at anyone who tells me they bf successfully!
    ryan is getting better again but ihave a box of aptimel and some cartons for going out.

    i think we are all in the same boat here from the replies on my topic about bf and we need to just do what we think is best. that is what they should be telling us from the start...do whatu think is best for ur baby!

    i do hope your lo is piling on weight for you, and i dont know about u but sometimes i enjoy bottle feeding more than bf! xxxxsorry for going on!
  • Hi Anna, I totally sympathise with you. I am sick of people asking me how the bf is going and the look of surprise when I say we are supplementing him with formula because I can't keep up with his demands. At the end of the day I would rather have a happy healthy baby who has a bit of both formula and breast milk then a screaming hungry baby. We shouldn't be made to feel like a failure for choosing this option when we just want the best for our babies. I would love to be one of the lucky ladies who has plenty of breast milk to give to their lo but I tried everything in the first few days to get my milk to come in and at the end of it couldn't leave my baby hungry just because of my personal preference to bf.

    Thank god for sites like this so we can share our stories and realise how common this problem is.

    L xx
  • oh liz what a gorg piccy image
  • Aww thanks Holly =) Looks like your lo enjoys bathtime too! x
  • I think like every aspect of pregnancy and childbirth it all depends on where we live and our own particular midwives/healthvisitors. Ive had loads of support with b/f because ive asked for it, some of the m/w in the hospital were a bit crap tho and i think they wouldve preferred me to bottlefeed so i didnt ask for help! I think its appalling for people to force the issue though, they should be giving good advice and information for all methods and alternatives. Every mum and baby is different so given the alternatives we should do what is best for us. I chose to b/f but if formula was in anyway bad- they wouldnt sell it so i deffo wont feel guilty if i have to use it.
  • I totally agree. I breast fed holly in hospital, i say breast fed. She screamed and screamed and eventually seemed to latch on but would be constantly hungry. The midwifes were constantly pressurising me to put her to the breast, i was shattered. We came home on day 3 and holly had been crying almost non stop all day. In the evening my parents came round and suggested we just give her one bottle to settle her. We did and it was the best thing we have ever done. She settled instantly as the poor little thing had been starving. My milk didnt come in until day 5 and even then i seemed to be empty very quickly despite her being at the breat almost all day and night (i though this was supposed to stimulate production). When my milk came in my boobs were so big it pulled my nipple back and made them inverted as the midwife put it. I tried nipple sheilds which were good but holly still struggled and most of the milk leaked out the bottom. Anyway, long story short my baby is having formula feeds over night and during the day she has expressed milk via a bottle. She is doing well. But i do feel if it hadnt been for my parents holly would also be loosing weight. She is 2 weeks old now, was 7lb 10z when born dropped a little in the first week but is now 7lb 5oz! As you said i believe she has the best of both worlds. Keep up the good work!
  • I hate this whole pressure thing just because some overpaid government assholes have decided that breastfeeding is what everyone sould do. Not that long ago it was all formula that was the thing to do. mw and hv should be helping you to do wht is right for you and lo not making you feel bad or trying to force unnecessary meds on you!!!

    If i let my lo go hungry cause i was trying to just bf him then i'd be doing neither of us any good - it is not a bad thing to want your lo to have a full tummy!

    feeding support groups sound like a much better idea than bf support!
  • Hi I have to admit that I am one of those mothers who has a lot of milk, but I assure you it hasn't been easy. Hannah cries quite alot because she gets very windy and seems to only take the foremilk then fall asleep exhausted. I have had support from midwife, health visitors and breastfeeding support groups, but they have all given conflicting advice. I'm persevering ,but have contemplated giving up and giving a bottle. I agree it is down to what you and your baby are happy with. I agree they should be called feeding support groups. Oh and has anyone been made to feel very guilty for giving baby a dummy when bf as I was last week and now i'm hiding it! which I shouldn't have to do.
  • Thanks for all your replies, its so reasuring to know you are not alone cause it certainly feels like it sometimes!! I have also introduced the dreaded dummy! my opinion of which has drastically changed and now feel it has been a god send. Wilfy goes through stages of wanting to breast feed all the time until i realised he was comforting himself. Looking back he could spend up to 2 hours latched on. Although now i realise he could have been starving! After about half an hour he appears to be sucking rather than feeding. The dummy has certainly helped with feeding and breaking this cycle, and lets face it, give the boobies a bit of a rest and let them re-fill with milk.
    Luckily i havent yet been critisised for introducing a dummy although i am yet to let my mother in law know!! I think they are wonderful things and more hygienic than sucking my finger and if it helps him and me get some sleep then bring it on!!
  • I didn't want to use a dummy but introduced one last week in the evenings as Philip was also sucking for comfort rather than food, it also helps settle him slightly better, he is very good though and spits it out as soon as he is asleep! And yep it is more hygienic than my finger, especially as my hands are dry, cracked & sore from washing them so often and if i forget after i've been playing with the dog, yuck!
  • We tried a dummy last week but Cole spits it out! He does like to suck fingers though so I'll maybe try the dummy again in a few days.

    Know what you mean about the dry hands Obi - I've finally found a use for al l the small tubs of body butter I've got lying around- keep them in every room for my hands... stops them being so dry and masks the smell of milton!!
  • Hi,
    Isobel is a great breast feeder and also has a dummy pretty much all the time when she is not feeding.
    So anyone who says you should not give them a dummy is wrong.
    Also i have read articles that a dummy can help prevent cot death too.. so what do they want us to do?
    I think we all know are babies best and should follow our instincts!
  • Hi,
    I tried Caed with a dummy the other night. He sleeps on average 6-8 hours a night and seems to do nothing but feed all during the day. Late afternoon/early evenings are the worst, he just wont let me put him down at all so i tried a dummy. He didnt like it at first but then he fell asleep sucking on it and spat it out afterwards, he slept for a couple of hours. I dont use it all the time but its good to know that its there and he will go to sleep sucking on it. My other two kids wouldn't have a dummy. I used to place a terry nappy under my arm when i was feeding them (and still do) so any milk drips go onto it, then when they were really tired i used to place it next to them and they could smell the milk and me on it and they slept for longer. My daughter (who is now 7) still likes to suck/sniff her clothes lol.
  • That's a bloody good idea Deborah! Now the sicky muslins have a use at last!!! Not sure about the clothes sucking tho....?!
    Dummies are brill if your baby loves to suck and have certainly reduced Gracie's feeds or rather, comfort sucks. My hv didn't say anything today...then again, she's young and childless so I sort of feel more qualified in an experienced way, and she's really nice too!
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