Forum home Archived Baby Clubs My baby was born in Dec 07

Would it be too weird to say nothing?

How weird would it be to not announce my pregnancy and just announce the birth?
Both sets of parents and siblings know but they're under strict instructions not to let aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents know.????
Originally I'd reckoned I'd feel calmer after getting beyond 20weeks and feeling lots of movement, but then after the scan I've continued to panic. Our parents knew early on but I'd kept holding it from siblings and tbh if it hadn't been for my brother telling me that I was pregnant (he'd made a guess and decided it was fact lol!) then I'd probably still be holding it a secret from them too. I just keep putting off telling people and I'm not entirely sure why, I think I'm scared if I say it out loud it won't happen, I'm scared to get carried away with conversations of baby, all in all I'm just scared.
I'm now thinking either 30weeks so not long to wait but they've at least had some warning, BUT to be perfectly honest I'd quite like to wait until she's here safe and sound and I am thinking that would be way more exciting news than I'm pregnant anyway?????
My mum thinks people will be offended, my brother thinks they'll understand, my husband doesn't really care either way and I just can't decide anything at the moment!
What do you think? Would you be hurt? Would it be exciting? Aaaarrrggh!????
Thanks image


  • I think it would be very cool and exciting myself but then I am pretty laid back about these things - I certainly wouldn't be offended especially knowing your circumstances!
  • Hmm tricky one and not sure at all.
    I know exactly what you are saying and understand it but knowing your circumstances I was so thrilled and excited for you and I'm sure your rellies would be too! If you re worried about them getting overly excited could you ask a family member to pass on the good news but ask them to keeptheirvexcitement indet wraps until after the birth? Not sure if that's a solution at all but if they know what you been through they can share your excitement and hopefully respect your wishes to back off a bit ?
  • sorry g/c (although used to be in born in nov 07).

    One of my close friends kept her 3rd pg from everyone except me! I live 400miles away from her, so I wouldn't see anyone to tell! Her fil guessed when she was 33 weeks! She is 6ft tall and at 40w just looked like she'd had a big dinner!

    Her family were shocked but at the same time thrilled and excited. You have to do what you want to do and what is best for your little family (I have followed your story sorry nosey!!).

    Good luck for rest of pg

  • Well I was a suprise baby and it's great lol. Completly different circumstances to yours but my parents were quite young when my Mum got pregnant. Not long after they found out my Grandad had a major heart attack and was in a bad way for awhile so they never said anything and then the just never found the right time. my Mum told her Mum as she was in labour with me. She never went to a doctor or had any antenatal care at all either. Everyone remembers the day I was born/ day they found out and it's great hearing everyones stories about it makes me feel all special ha ha.
    I certainly wouldn't be offended if a close family member kept it a secret I think it makes it really special but then again I love suprises lol x
  • G/C from DIN but I can say I understand how you feel, having had a mc myself. However, I would be concerned if there was anyway someone who was family found out on the grapevine they would be very upset. Things like fb etc, if there is anyway if could get back even maybe bumping in to a friend of a friend who knows someone who could mention they saw you blossoming, that could cause upset. Would think about it very carefully xx they may want to share the excitement xx
  • I think its totally up to you and what you feel confortable with, everyone who knows you will understand xxx
  • The problems you've had in the past obviously impact greatly on your feelings here. And that is very understandable.

    What is it that you fear if you do tell people? If it is the whole baby talk and, knitting and pressie then prehaps you could do what an earlier post said and get family to pass on the good news explaining how you'd like them to respond.

    If something god forbid did happen, would you not tell/want any of these people to know? If so then yes perhaps you do wait until 30 wks / or the birth. But if yes, then I would consider telling people now.

    How is LO speach now? Are you telling him? Is he likely to tell people?

    Do you have any big family occassions such as weddings where you will all be getting together? These are all points to consider.

    Ultimately it is up to you. I often find writing things down can help clarify what it is that Im thinking. x
  • Thanks everyone, there's no way they could find out as we don't live anywhere near each other for it to be grapevined back to them etc.
    I don't think I'll get another family member to say anything as that just sucks all the fun out of this pregnancy completely. I don't want to repeat second hand news!
    I think I've left it so long I really like the idea of telling people at the finish line- I think it would be exciting in the same way hearing someones pregnant is exciting- it's just there won't be any 'will she won't she' involved.
    I don't know I've still got way too much time left on my hands but for now I'll keep it to myself and just get through all this stress before I tell others.
    IF something were to go wrong again (and I hope to god it won't) it's my mum who I'd lean on the most and she knows so I'm not too worried about that. Aaaarrrggh!
  • W4B - that sounds like the right way for you then. Probably just writing it down helped you I know it does for me. Im really keeping my fingers so tightly crossed x
  • hey sweetie quick reply as mason attacking me and laptop........... i think you do what you feel right! i could understand both ways... i know what you mean about if you talk about and then you'll start getting excited (which you should be but you dont dare be) only think if it were to get out before

  • Like el said this definately sounds like the right way to go for you and it would be pretty amazing to find out that your niece/ granddaughter has just had a baby! Imagine being able to tell them that! And you're right getting a relative to tell them and then ask them to keep it under wraps would suck the fun out of it - for them as well as you. Lots of love to you x
  • I think it would be amazing just to announce the birth. And sod anyone who is offended after all youve both been through! That would just be stupid of them. And what a lovely suprise for them all xxx
  • I think it would be amazing just to announce the birth. And sod anyone who is offended after all youve both been through! That would just be stupid of them. And what a lovely suprise for them all xxx
Sign In or Register to comment.