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Major Dilemma - Gonna be long sorry!

Feel free not to reply I just think getting this all down on 'paper' somewhere it might help me make a decision!

OK, well as you all know I am an SEN teacher. Well, I qualified in 2004 and went straight into SEN teaching in a school for pupils with moderate learning difficulties - it was a nice school - I wasn't ecstatically happy there but then I am sure everyone has some complaints about anywhere they work. However when hubbie and I bought our first house my commute became mental and so I started to look for somewhere else. I was at my first school for a year and a term and then I moved to where I am now as a teacher of Autism in a school for pupils with severe learning difficulties and profound and multiple learnign difficulties. The first 2 terms I was here I was finding my feet in a class of 6 mixed aged pupils from Year 2 to Year 6 (6-11) the 6 year old was functioning at the aged of a 3 year old (approx) but the others were functioning at about 8-20months (other than physically ie they could walk run etc etc) with no language and a couple with difficult behaviours. However in that first couple of terms I also had 3 support assistants one of whom was a total battleaxe 3 years off retirement who basically thought her way was the ONLY way and no one stood up to her event he head told me to just go along with what this support assistant said or did image so I didn't really get to settle in or take charge of the class or even set up the room as I wanted to and started off my time there feeling very uncomfortable and undermined. Then in my next year there I had the same class with the same pupils but a change of staff, however, one of the pupils hit puberty and became EXTREMELY difficult and very violent without warning and as he was preverbal there was a lot of difficulties. Me and my (by then 5) staff were getting hit kicked and goodness only knows what else every day time and again. There was NO support from the senior management team and it was totally depressing and stressful. I was in tears everyday before work and had to FORCE myself to leave the house and go, was often in tears at work and always in tears at home again. I lost all my confidence as a teacher and even as a lead person in the classroom as we were not teaching at all just protecting the other pupils from getting injured and trying to keep ourselves safe too. Without going into further details, it was a total nightmare and I should have got myself signed off with stress as I evidently was but I didn't.

In the end me and hubbie decided it was either get pregnant or get a new job - we would have ttc sooner or later but this made us do it sooner. In the end the DAY AFTER I found out I was pregnant I was offered a job at a school I had been previously interviewed by - sods law hey - if I had moved I would have lost all my extra maternity rights so there was no way. Even when I was pregnant the school did NOT move me to a different class I was left with the highly violent pupil and it was awful - when he left at the end of the year it was a bitter end with his paretns who had always been supportive as they turned and gave us a right sting.

Anyway confidence was NON EXISTANT for my final term before going off on maternity leave but I was moved out of an Autism classroom into a main school classroom of 7 pupils with moderate, severe and some profound and multiple learnign difficulties. It was a totally different class very calm and steady with 2 fabulous support assistants and I enjoyed my wind down to maternity leave but after my lack of support I didn't feel happy/comfortable/confident/welcome or anything else int he school.

So I went off on my maternity leave and as the time to go back to work got closer I just knew I could nto go back there full time - I actually felt physically sick about it all and very anxious - so I asked for 3 days but could only have 2 or full time so 2 it was and we are now really struggling financially. I still have no confidence and don't want to be there even though the head has changed the feel about the place is still the same and I just don't ever want to be in a similar situation again. I have been applying for other jobs and as you know I have an interview in a couple of weeks.

However, the interview is not for a class based teaching job it is for a central SEN team of a council to work with preschool aged children with severe and profound learning difficulties in their homes and with their families and in trying to get the appropriate nursery placements and then working with the nurseries too. It sounds like a really interesting role and I don't see my whole career future int he classroom, a role like this would be ideal. However, it is a fixed term contract till Oct 2010 and it is only2.5 days a week although it is on a higher payscale than me now so I would get a bit more money.

Then my head called me into the office on Wed and told me that a mainstream school nearby (which has an autism base attatched - kids with autism attend the school but need support for certain subjects or times of the day so attend the base then) need someone full time on a secondment as their base teacher is going off on Maternity leave at Easter and would I be interested (hea dknows I need more hours for the money hence offering it to me)

So I just don't know what to do. I have only taught 3 years in the classroom and think maybe it is too soon to go for a job out of the classroom esp something so specialised as the one I have an interview for as if I decided I wanted to go back to class teaching it would be tricky. I also don't know if I am just applying for jobs away from the classroom as my confidence is still so low and maybe I just need a change of scene to boost my confidence and give me new ideas! Also I have NO mainstream experience at all and so the secondment would give me a chance to get a little more of a mainstream perspective. Apparently the school are very keen so I might push it to trya nd get 4 days instead of full time but either way MAx is settled at nursery and for a couple of terms or at most a year the extra money would be REALLY good -plus maybe the current post holder might only want to come back part time when she has had the baby so maybe a foot in for me but that is just a possibility. Then at least with the secondment i have a 2 day contract still at the end of it especially as by then we may have or be expecting no 2 where as with the new job at the end of the contract I am left with nothing and have to find something new. But then also I know that my last few interviews have been unsuccessful and maybe the secondement is attractive cos there is likely to be no interview so I won't have to contend with that.

Basically I don't know what to do!!! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH and it is pickling my brain! I am going to arrange to visit the possible secondment school next week to help but any ideas????

Any comments welcome!!!!!

The bonus was that today my head (who was the deputy when all the shite was going on) admitted that their lack of support was hugely influential in making my whole team feel totally useless and shit - first time anyone has admitted that - shame it took until now and caused a teacher early in their career to be basically broken I still sometimes cry now about how crappy that year made me feel - how pants is that!

ANYWAY ADVICE ME ON MY BRIGHT NEW FUTURE PLEASE LADIES!!! :\? :lol: SORRY IT WAS SO LONG!


[Modified by: Craftycharli on 23 January 2009 22:17:30 ]

Replies

  • Tried to read this, but been pestered by Gracie wanting my toast, Alfie wanting more toast and putting his fingers all over the screen and Charlie wanting me to show him how to play Power Rangers on his new laptop! So forgive me if I've not digested all...!

    First of all, have your school heard of risk assessments?! Keeping you in that class for so long is ridiculous and should not have happened. My hubby works in a class of 6 autistic (but mentally older than yours) kids and he's done 20+ restraints this week alone, with all his team getting hit between them. It's dangerous stuff and not a position for a pregnant lady at any stage to be left in.
    Then about the jobs....I would bite the bullet for a chance to get into mainstream. Not only for the chance of change, but also to guarantee you still have a 2 day week at the end of it. Then if you still didn't want to go back there, you could look for other posts in the meantime. I don't think you're contractually obliged to go back to a school after a secondment...our deputy didn't. Which is what you may end up doing, you never know. You may love the new school and be offered a place there more suiting your needs. I think the change will do you good and you'll feel better about yourself for the extra money you are earning and it will boost your confidence as you're not feeling down about being in your current school.
    The other job sounds good but if you want more money now, (like I know i do!) it doesn't offer ay prospects further than Oct '10 and then you'll have to start all over again looking for jobs. PLus, if you're thinking of ttc in the near ish future, how would changing jobs from education to council affect maternity rights etc? Something to look into...
    Hope this helps a bit....It is just my opinion though based on what you've put here and not necessarliy the right solution. I cannot talk...I'm now in my 10th year of teaching (give or take 3 mat leaves lol) and I've stopped at my first place, swapping year groups every few years. So I know nothing of the trauma of making such a decision...but I do know how different the jobs me and hubby have are. More marking versus being beaten up....hmmmm....pass me the red pen!
    Don't beat yourself up over this...the fact that you've been considered for a secondment must mean you're rated and wanted, so perhaps see that as a sign??!
    Good luck in making your decision and let us know what you decide x
  • Thanks Ali!!!!

    I am leaning that way too I think just I was so excited by the prospect of the one I have an interview for (it's still employed a teacher contract so normal mat rights etc applies- found that out already :lol: ) and now I wonder if I am edging the other way for ease but I don't think I am I think it is a sensible move.

    The head told me I should take the fact she had mentioned it to me first as a huge positive and a massive vote of confidence as she wouldn't want me representing the school elsewhere otherwise - had a big chat with her about all this yesterday too so she knows how I am feeling and hopefully can support me more.

    I will of course keep you updated on how it is all going etc etc etc.

    Also love the image of you being clambered all over and having toast ropped out of your hands etc etc but well done you for totally getting all of my ENORMOUS post with all that going on too!!! image
  • Hi thisll probably be short as zachariah is getting ready for a whinge. Sorry! But i think the teachers amongst us will be better at answering this but one thing I did want to mention is with the home one although it's fixed have you found out if this is standard as a lot of businesses nowadays seem to do fixed term and then extend them at the end for another fixed time etc I think it just makes it easier for them with redundancies etc. Sounds like you had an awful time and although you say your confidence has taken a knocking I think the fact your acknowledging it means you will be able to decide rationally. I find pro and con lists help too lol. Good luck
  • As always Ali is talking a lot of sense, you will probably feel happier once you have looked around the school but it sounds like a good opportunity.
    There is still no harm in going to the interview for the other one if you are in two minds.

    As w4b says though a fixed term contract would be a bit of a concern under the current climate so if you are looking for a bit more security the secondment sounds good!

    I know this sounds silly but I always find flipping a coin helps when I can't choose between two things. You know instantly in your heart what you want to do if the coin tells you to do the opposite lol!!!

    Good luck, I am sure it will all work out and hopefully your confidence levels can start getting back up to what they should be. xxx
  • As always Ali is talking a lot of sense
    Thanks liz, that made me laugh and I'm gonna show hubby someone thinks I have half a brain lol!

    Charli, glad the mat leave wouldn't be affected...I know a few friends stung by even changing areas...not fair at all.
    Like liz says, going thru with the other interview may be worthwhile if you are still unsure. And you'd prob get more of a feel for the job...?
    When does the secondment school have to know by? And it is right, you wouldn't have been asked had you not been favoured for the job....now I wonder why I've never been asked to do one....?!?! LOL
  • oh bless you sweetie!!!

    well it is a difficult decison but perhaps you should look more towards the secondment that way get your confidence back again and it may open up more better oportunities or worst case senario you still have 2 day post to go back too!! - much better especially if your going to have another baby!

    good luck with your decions!!

  • Tough decision hun. I guess i agree with the others, i think you should go to the interview as well as looking round the secondment school and see where that leaves you. I think once you have done this (thinking with your head) your heart will tell you the best option for you and your family. Good luck xxx
  • Not quite sure if i can say anything to help, think Ali has covered it well! Going straight into a SEN position upon qualification must have been hard going, especially with a battle axe as support!

    I went back as a SEN TA in december with a child who quite frankly within 3 weeks had me questionning whether i could really do the job after all! Since Christmas i've been with a different one and have managed to gain a little bit more confidence thanks to fantastic support from the other TA's, on Thursday the head asked for a quiet word and i thought, that's it, off you go but, she asked me to do more hours with another child who is one of the most challenging we have ever had in our school (and there have been some very challenging ones) and told me they were asking me as they think i'm the only one who will be able to get on with him, and able to get him on task and engaged in learning again and that really was a massive confidence boost!

    By asking you to do the secondment your head is showing you how much she values you and is willing to let you represent the school in another setting which is a fantastic, and you may end up being offered something there. It's such a shame that a not so good head has allowed someone so new into the profession to become so disillusioned and lose morale, i really hope that whatever you decide to do you are given the support that you need and should have.

    Good luck with working it out
  • Thanks for all the replies and advice - it really does help to hear other views!

    Had to laugh at you Ali wondering why you hadn't been considered for a secondment - I'm sure it means nothing image

    I had a big chat with my mum on the phone on Sat night too so have ahd advice from all fronts but I have to make the end decision. Will visit school and take it from there. My mum's main concern was that she and my dad are travelling 300 miles and staying 2 nights in order to be here to babysit for the mornign when I have the interview so she made me promis that even if I don't go to the interview I would go somewhere and let her have her mornign with Max :lol: bless she is so looking forward to it - I told her I would book into a travel lodge and sleep for the morning :lol: !
  • yey loving the travel lodge idea.................heaven! xxxx
  • I work as a speech and language therapist in a high school that has an ASD base. It sounds pretty similar to the secondment you talked about. The kids there are pretty high level, some managing good exam passes, but there is still a lot of aggressive behaviour that stems from their misunderstanding of situations or sensory issues. Thankfully when I was pregnant and something kicked off, I was herded away to a quiet place. Our teaching staff do some teaching in the base, and also go with the kids to support them in their classes. It works well and I think I'm in a happy team but I think that's largely dependant on a good senior management team (as is so often the case!!) Hope you make the decision that's best for you all. X
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