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All over....again :,(

Had my scan this morning, I should have been 13+4 min and baby measured 11+ weeks, no heart beat. Can't believe it I feel like the world is against me. They said they think it was a boy and there was something wrong so would never have made it to full term. Cystic hygroma- but I've looked that upband all that meant was swelling around neck/head, which angel had and they said was purely down to having been dead a while inside me. Am now feeling like something really important is being missed as far as me and having babies go. ESP as despite me thinking my 2yr old is perfect, on paper he isnt as visually impaired but ALL his tests come back normal too!!!!!! I have to go in on thursday for a mc induction thing. They'd given me 3 options, wait and it could take weeks, have a pill and force mc on thurs or a d&c but several week waiting list!!!! Great choices really! I'm not hanging around so forcing mc on Thursday, no idea what to expect but don't believe it can be as bad as giving birth- hope to god it's not anyway!
I am a wreck, I'm well aware this wasn't a fully developed baby yet but I also know that my husband was adamant we'd not ttc again if anything were to go wrong so I feel like I'm crying for losing the chance of more children and my son being alone forever aswell! Also what I'd something is wrong with me and I'm just asking for it!????
I'm hoping my husband will come around but I know my body couldn't cope anytime soon anyway so I'm going to have to concentrate on what I have instead. Perhaps getting down to sI haven't even told my husband yet, I don't know how and am scared of his reaction. It seems so unfair but size 0 or something! Tsk
????I guess I have to be grateful it happened now not later but really peed off my pains were a mmc not a uti and were brushed off! I'm also glad that although I was already daydreaming I hadn't got so attatched! I did everything by the book this time and as stated before hadnt even had sex jic!!! Aaaarrrggh!
Upset I can't do anything with this ones remains but it's probably for the best, they're not doing any tests as not 3months yet but I do wonder whether I should try forcing the issue because of my concerns!!!
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Replies

  • I am SO SO sorry to hear this, I cant begin to imagine what you are going through. I just want to say you are all in my thoughts and I hope everything goes as well as it can on Thursday. Huge hugs to you all xxx
  • Oh hunny I'm so so so very sorry for you. You don't deserve this.

    I really hope someone can give you some answers and you get looked after - personally I think youmight want to force the issue about the tests but thats just my opinion.

    I think you know I had a mmc, but I ended up m/c naturally a couple of days after the scan but if it helps I can give you some info of what I went through. Its definately not as bad as giving birth though.

    Really wish you lived nearer to at least one of us - I really hope you and your husband can be there for each other and you have some support

    big hugs

    xxxx
  • Sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you hun take care. Big hugs xxx
  • oh hun - I replied elsewhere but just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear it and I hope you and your family get all the support you need HUGS!
  • Oh w4b, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this again. I hope your hubby can see your side of this painful story, and that you in time may try again if you want to. After all, it is your body and your desire to become a mother again, it is easy for him to say no, but women are much more emotional. It seems very despairing to give up, I know friends who have suffered 3+ mcs and have gone onto have healthy babies with the help of the drugs. I agree with kia, try to push for the tests, as at least they may find something to help you decide what to do in the future.
    Many hugs xxx
  • Oh darling.. I am so sorry. This is so unfair and I wish I could make things better for you. Big hugs XXX
  • Thank you everyone. I'm not doing too great, I felt once was More than enough personally but such is life!
    I'm going to leave a message with the consultant who dealt with Angel, unfortunately she doesn't work Tuesdays but I'm hoping she'll be able to sort out demanding tests before Thursday! I really feel there's something obvious that's being missed, and maybe that's a typical reaction but I don't care i don't want to have a 3rd loss and then be told there's something up!
    I'm going in tomorrow for the first tablet but I will make sure there's no way I could getbin earlier for d&c as tbh I don't really want to have to go through it all again, I know it will be different but all the same. I'm a bit weary of the risks involved with d&c though!
    KIA thank you I'd really appreciate an idea of what will happen as the ladies on mc say I will experience painful contractions. Are they as bad as labour contractions? Both times before, mine have been agony even with Angel they gave me additional pain relief as no concern for baby and I assume it did something but certainly didn't feel that way!
    I've spoken with hubby and he's been great we both agree I'm physically not capable of going through a pregnancy again this year and need time out. That we should be asking for genetic compatibility tests or something and ATM we won't rule out more children completely but not for now and not actively trying. I'm not sure what I'll do about contraception as I don't want to mess with any fertility issues I may have but have no intention of pregnancy right now so will have to talk with gp!
    I'm so fed up of being in the bad bit of a statistic when the odds are stacked towards good things! :,(
  • Thank you everyone. I'm not doing too great, I felt once was More than enough personally but such is life!
    I'm going to leave a message with the consultant who dealt with Angel, unfortunately she doesn't work Tuesdays but I'm hoping she'll be able to sort out demanding tests before Thursday! I really feel there's something obvious that's being missed, and maybe that's a typical reaction but I don't care i don't want to have a 3rd loss and then be told there's something up!
    I'm going in tomorrow for the first tablet but I will make sure there's no way I could getbin earlier for d&c as tbh I don't really want to have to go through it all again, I know it will be different but all the same. I'm a bit weary of the risks involved with d&c though!
    KIA thank you I'd really appreciate an idea of what will happen as the ladies on mc say I will experience painful contractions. Are they as bad as labour contractions? Both times before, mine have been agony even with Angel they gave me additional pain relief as no concern for baby and I assume it did something but certainly didn't feel that way!
    I've spoken with hubby and he's been great we both agree I'm physically not capable of going through a pregnancy again this year and need time out. That we should be asking for genetic compatibility tests or something and ATM we won't rule out more children completely but not for now and not actively trying. I'm not sure what I'll do about contraception as I don't want to mess with any fertility issues I may have but have no intention of pregnancy right now so will have to talk with gp!
    I'm so fed up of being in the bad bit of a statistic when the odds are stacked towards good things! :,(
  • Thank you everyone. I'm not doing too great, I felt once was More than enough personally but such is life!
    I'm going to leave a message with the consultant who dealt with Angel, unfortunately she doesn't work Tuesdays but I'm hoping she'll be able to sort out demanding tests before Thursday! I really feel there's something obvious that's being missed, and maybe that's a typical reaction but I don't care i don't want to have a 3rd loss and then be told there's something up!
    I'm going in tomorrow for the first tablet but I will make sure there's no way I could getbin earlier for d&c as tbh I don't really want to have to go through it all again, I know it will be different but all the same. I'm a bit weary of the risks involved with d&c though!
    KIA thank you I'd really appreciate an idea of what will happen as the ladies on mc say I will experience painful contractions. Are they as bad as labour contractions? Both times before, mine have been agony even with Angel they gave me additional pain relief as no concern for baby and I assume it did something but certainly didn't feel that way!
    I've spoken with hubby and he's been great we both agree I'm physically not capable of going through a pregnancy again this year and need time out. That we should be asking for genetic compatibility tests or something and ATM we won't rule out more children completely but not for now and not actively trying. I'm not sure what I'll do about contraception as I don't want to mess with any fertility issues I may have but have no intention of pregnancy right now so will have to talk with gp!
    I'm so fed up of being in the bad bit of a statistic when the odds are stacked towards good things! :,(
  • Thank you everyone. I'm not doing too great, I felt once was More than enough personally but such is life!
    I'm going to leave a message with the consultant who dealt with Angel, unfortunately she doesn't work Tuesdays but I'm hoping she'll be able to sort out demanding tests before Thursday! I really feel there's something obvious that's being missed, and maybe that's a typical reaction but I don't care i don't want to have a 3rd loss and then be told there's something up!
    I'm going in tomorrow for the first tablet but I will make sure there's no way I could getbin earlier for d&c as tbh I don't really want to have to go through it all again, I know it will be different but all the same. I'm a bit weary of the risks involved with d&c though!
    KIA thank you I'd really appreciate an idea of what will happen as the ladies on mc say I will experience painful contractions. Are they as bad as labour contractions? Both times before, mine have been agony even with Angel they gave me additional pain relief as no concern for baby and I assume it did something but certainly didn't feel that way!
    I've spoken with hubby and he's been great we both agree I'm physically not capable of going through a pregnancy again this year and need time out. That we should be asking for genetic compatibility tests or something and ATM we won't rule out more children completely but not for now and not actively trying. I'm not sure what I'll do about contraception as I don't want to mess with any fertility issues I may have but have no intention of pregnancy right now so will have to talk with gp!
    I'm so fed up of being in the bad bit of a statistic when the odds are stacked towards good things! :,(
  • Just read this post and wanted to say how sorry I was have been keeping my fingers crossed and just can't believe that this has happened to you again....words fail me it's just so unfair.

    I would want answer so would be knocking on every door I could, but remember theres no rush to do it right now if you need a few weeks take them.
  • Hope your consultant can get you some answers hun, I think you deserve someone looking after you. Glad your hubby is being great and he's agreeing with you about time out.

    I'll email you about my m/c - don't really feel like going into it too much on a public forum

    xx
  • I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is so unfair and I wish I could say something that would make the pain go away but I know I can't.

    You really need to push for answers. I can't believe they've said you'll have to wait for a d&c - I think you know that I had a mmc at 11.5 weeks and I had the op within 5 hours after I found out; I didn't realise it would be different elsewhere.

    My thoughts are with you. Huge hugs xxx

  • I am so so sorry to hear this w4b, i feel devastated for you. Cant imagine how much pain you and hubby are going through, its really so unfair. I wish there was something comforting i could say but there are no words. Lots of love and hugs to you all. Give yourself some breathing space and time to grieve before you start thinking about the future xxxxx
  • Oh hun, I am so so sorry. I just can't believe this has happened, as Bluey says I wish there was something I could do or say to take the pain away.I'm so glad your hubby is being so supportive, definately push for answers, you need them to be able to make a decision and move forward. Sending you a big hug xxxx
  • sweetie, im so sorry only just read this - i just wish there was something i could say or do to help - im so glad your hubby is being supportive and not dis0reguarded trying again like he had - i agree that you need some time out and let yourself and body recover!

    sending you massive cuddles xxx
  • I'm so, so sorry. This is just so devastating for you and I'm so upset for you. I don't know what to say, much love to you, jules x
  • Hi w4b. Just wanted to let you know Im thinking of you and i hope all went as well as can be expected. Lots of love xxxx
  • Hi, havent been on for ages and just read your post. Im so sorry for your loss. Im sure there are no words to ease the pain you and your family are going through. I just wanted to send you lots of hugs.

    Suz x
  • So sorry to read this w4b, not a lot i can say that hasn't already been said, my thoughts are with you, big hugs xxx
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