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please tell me it gets better UPDATE

DD had her first settling session in nursery yesterday. i stayed for just over half an hour then she stayed for an hour and half on her own. she was ok while i was there but when i was gone she cried on and off for the whole time, she would stop crying then look around and start again. at one point she was so upset that she was sick.

she is going again in the morning for 3 hours on her own and she is going to have lunch there too. then she will be there for full days on mondays and thursdays from the 6th sept. really worried about it.

for those that are in nursery how long did it take for them to settle? did they cry all day? how were they in themselves while they were settling?

trouble is DD is so much older than most lo's when they start nursery that she is more aware of what is happening if that makes sense?


  • sorry no real advice as have not been through it myself (and it'll prob be the hell you are going through when i do as theo will be nearly 3 as don't think he'll be starting til next sept) but i'm sure it will get better as she's a very clever and adaptable little girl. big hugs as i can imagine how hard it is for you, k x
  • thanks,

    she had 3 hours today and luckily she was ok when i left until see noticed i had gone. she was unsettled today but they said she wasnt as bad as last time. she was ok then she would remember i was gone then cry again. thankfully they were able to distract her so she wasnt sick this time. she didnt touch any of her lunch.

    when i picked her up last time she was crying so was relieved today when she was walking around with iggle piggle and her drink with no tears. she came straight over when she saw me showed me iggle piggle then wandered off, she then came back for a cuddle and kiss.

    thank the lord. i know it will take her a while to settle as she has never been to nursery before she settles properly but it looks like it will happen. was really worried that she would struggle and be unhappy all the time.
  • Oh, I do feel for you, Gabriel and Gideon have been going to nursery since they were about 1. I was lucky in the fact I knew the nursery as Saul goes there too, and of course they had each other...

    It will get better for her, as soon as she gets to know the staff and other children and of course the structure, she will be loads better.

    Gabriel still cries occassionally when I leave but I know he'll stop pretty much straight away...

    Good luck...

    Sara x
  • TBH it sounds like she's settling in 100x better than Abby did. Abby cried solidly for about a fortnight and refused to eat. She then did the same when she moved from the baby room to the boddler room.
    Now she and her 2 boyfriends rule the roost! She absolutely loves it, I rarely get a kiss goodbye, she's just off. The 3 of them run around making sure everyone knows who the boss is. She then spends the weekend shouting for Albie and Dylon at the top of her voice.

    Don't worry she will soon love it as much as Abby.

    H xx

  • The girls loved nursery i must say but became unsettled when the nursery was taken over thats why i pulled them out but i do think it was different for them as they were much younger and they had each other....however it sounds like she will love it eventually its just a change to adapt to and i guess it gets her used too it for pre school and eventually scary as that seems! xxx

  • thanks girls, we had a bad day on saturday she spent all morning being really angry at me and i could do nothing right, mind you daddy could do no wrong. think it was because i was the one who left her in the strange place not daddy image

    she has a full day tomorrow so i am really panicking and worrying. i know she will settle eventually but doesnt make me feel any better in the short term if that makes sense.
  • I'm sure she will get used to it, but it wont make you feel any better i bet! Milly has just started big school and i hate leaving her there and she is 4!! Her little face as she goes in the door is enough to make me cry so i know how you feel- at least she can't say "mummy, can't you just teach me at home?" which is what Milly said last Friday.
    good luck tomorrow x

  • Good luck with it all tomorrow Karen. I'll be thinking of you both xxx
  • thanks everyone
  • well where do i start? DD seemed to have good time today for her first full day she didnt eat or sleep but hey cant have everything :roll: .

    drop off was horrific this morning, she knew what was going to happen as we were getting out of the car so wouldnt walk in had to be carried clinging on to me for dear life, almost lost feeling in my left arm. she would look at anyone kept her eyes tightly shut, all questions about playing were greeted with a stern 'no' then as her key worker came over she started to scream and cry, full on snot and tears so not an act. there was no way was i going to be able to put her down to leave so they took her off me which made her scream even louder. im blubbing as i leave the room, such a sad sac :cry:

    spent about 15 mins of my 30 min journey with tears running down my face, got to work, started to talk to a pregnant friend and blubbed again, rang dh about 9.45 which upset me but i was hanging on to dignity, then my other friend came in and that was it i was off again. she made me call nursery (i was scared to incase they told me was still crying/upset) and all was well, she was in the roleplay area playing with the kitchen, she had been playing with the musical instruments and had one a dinosaur painting, so all was well.

    she didnt want to sleep with the other kids, and refused her breakfast, had some grapes for snack, refused lunch but had some more grapes and refused her dinner. so the next concern is the eating issue.

    i gave her dinner when we got in her favourite, mince beef, mash and onion gravy and pudding which was woofed down in record time. not sure if i did the right thing giving her food when she came home incase she thinks its ok not eat there cos i will feed her when she gets home, if that makes sense but didnt want to leave her going to bed hungry.

    any ideas about the food issue? should i give her breakfast before she goes then dinner when she comes home? or just leave to learn to eat there? dh says not to give her breakfast as then she will definately not eat all day, so to leave her go hungry to make her eat. what do you think?

    BF i know you said that abby refused to eat for 2 weeks how did you get her to eat? did you feed her before and after?

    sorry for whittering on

  • I gave her breakfast before and sent her in with some favourite snacks in a box. I even sent her with extra milk (but she was a lot younger). TBH at this age I don't think they're deliberately trying to be obtuse when they don't eat and being hungry just makes them even more uncomfortable and unhappy. It sounds like she's already starting to settle down a bit, she'll eat their food when she's ready, at my nursery they all sit down together to eat so they feel left out very quickly. Abby will eat things for them that she never eats for me.

    H xx
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