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Decisions out of my hands

Hey my lovely BIDdies!

I know I have always said that we would probably only have one child, but I have always had a niggling type feeling in the back of my head that one day there might have been a change of heart, mainly by my hubby I suppose, or that fate may one day have intervened...

I had totally got my head round the idea that Skye would be an only child after about a year of possibly wanting another baby. Everywhere I looked lots of my Mummy friends were expecting their second, lots of you on here were also well on your way to number two, or with baby no 2 already here! ;\) Now I know that age is not on my side at 38 either, but it didn't stop my thinking ???????what if??????? though from time to time!

Now I don't think I've ever mentioned on here that I suffer from a skin condition called psoriasis, and during the course of my pg it got much worse as I couldn't use any steroids to control it, and since Skye arrived it has continued to escalate in it's severity. It has got to the point that I have had to seek treatment stronger than steroid creams, and I have recently started a course of light therapy to try and clear it, even if only for the short term. I am currently half way through my course and it has thankfully abated slightly, but I still have some patches that are not responding.

Basically the long and short of it is that if it does not clear with this light therapy then my next step is tablets that are a mild form of chemotherapy. :\( They will quiet likely make me sick, I will need weekly blood tests to check liver function, and I have to undertake not to get pregnant during the course, and for at least 2 years afterwards!!!! image

So this would really be the final nail in the coffin of any thoughts of a sibling for Skye, and although I know this decision had sort of been made, it has really brought it home to me that she really will be our one and only. :cry:

So slightly sad times I guess, and fate quite possibly making any decisions for us.

Sorry to unload, but just needed to get it all off my chest.

Iz & Skye x


  • Oh Iz, if it happens then it will be a real shame. I hope it doesn't come to that and there's still hope the light therapy will work.
    Have you ever sought advice over your diet? My friend has an immune system problem which means she's now started her second course of chemo that sounds similar to yours. She has a real good dietician who has given her lots of advice about foods as it sounds daft but some foods can help aggrivate conditions, and even interfer with how steriods work (e.g. melon apparently makes steriods less effective!). It could be worth asking some questions or finding someone to help, as they may be able to recommend some options to try and at least support your treatments, rather than potentially working against them.

  • hey iz, im sorry to hear about your health probs, psoriasis is in my family and i sometimes get bad patches that take ages to clear and normally theyre on my face so i can sympathize a little.
    I'm sorry to hear that yours has interefered with having a second child tho, even though you say you always thought you probably wouldnt have another it must be hard for the decision to actually be taken out of your hands as before you could think it might happen one day.
    Who knows, you may have the treatment wait 2 years and then there may be a happy accident baby!
    Like kristin says it is worth looking into diet and alternative medicines aswell, my dad has stopped eating dairy and wheat and his skin has improved a lot.
    I hope the light therapy works for you and you dont need to take further action.
  • Oh I'm so sorry Iz. I know you always worried about having a second baby after the problems with Skye but I wondered whether you wanted another or not. Skye has come through all her various issues and is a beautiful, intelligent little girl - you have been a wonderful mum to her and I'm sorry that you might not be able to have another.

    I hope the chemo works for you. I hadn't realised that it could be a treatment but I suppose it makes sense. Psoriasis is the production of extra skin cells so a treatment that reduces cell production should work. It's a shame that it causes so many other side effects. The other treatment that you could try is phototherapy - you have probably tried this already but if not ask about it. I think it works by uv light killing the reproducing cells but not 100% on that.

    Anyway give Skye a great big mummy cuddle,
    H xx
  • Sorry just reread your post and realised you're on phototherapy. Good to know I can read properly isn't it? Whoops.
  • Sorry to read this- I've no knowledge of the condition so no advice to add sorry. I do feel for you and hubby though even if you decided not to have another child, it is so much different to having that choice made for you I understand.
    On the plus side, you have the beautiful Skye and you will feel a lot better after treatment- anything else is a bonus x
  • Hi Iz, sorry to hear about your skin condition. Really hope it responds to your current treatment and you don't need anything further.

    It must be tough feeling that the choice could be taken out of your hands. Hoping it doesn't come to that for you. On the plus side sometimes it can be easier when a definite decision has been made so that you can move on and enjoy what you have. Hope Skye keeps you smiling. Keep us updated about your therapy. Hugs xx
  • Hugs for you, Iz. I can't truly empathise but I can imagine that heavy feeling in your tummy. xx
  • oh no, big hugs from us too. remember we are always here for you
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