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Its all too much :'( :'(

Okay ladies im not going to lie here i need this off my chest!

Everything is just getting too much atm.....
Everything was fine a few days ago and now i feel like my life is falling apart! =/

Me and Sam are going through a bad patch at the moment but im not sure why! I think his mother has a lot to do with it he went to the caravan this week and wanted me and the girls to go but my Grandad is really heart failure! He is on palliative care plus i had a bad turn last week and the midwife was worried about my blood pressure and saids if i got worse i had to go to the hospital!
Plus i want to let the girls relax at home before they start nursery there really isnt a lot of room at the caravan for them. So i suggested that he go up and see his family (who he hasnt seen for the 6 weeks with them being at the caravan the whole time) and he would come and get me and the girls on tuesday (TODAY)
Then on saturday out of the blue he rings me saying that MY family is doing his head in my mum is expecting too much of me helping with my grandad but were his main carers and i want to help he doesnt see that! He doesnt agree that my brother gets away with things he does and then we end up picking up the pieces he has stayed with us a few times and has pinched off me money jewellery etc and when ive told my mum she has done lil to nothing about it and he gets mad because i dont tell my mum that im not hapy with the way she is dealoing with him but she has tried in the past and he has ADHD so its not ALL his fault! I know parenting is REALLY hard and if the girls turned out like my brother then i don't know how i would cope with it so feel i cant criticize i havenjt always been right with the girls you know there are no instructions. I told him this so he said that if i wasnt prepared to help myself then why should he be bothered! He said he hadnt seen his family in 6 weeks and i wouldnt let him go the van for one week (because i wouldnt go with him thats what i meant) and he hadnt seen them because he was looking after me and MY kids (that hurt considering i am carrying HIS baby and hes wanting to adopt my two) i never made him stay here or stopped him seeing his famly i always try to be involved with his family but his parents have 5 kids and 4 are at home 2 are under 14 so theres not loads of room! I take the kids out with the twins to give him time with his mum so i was mad at him for that comment! His mum text me saying the kids were missing him and i wanted t say then why dont you come home for a weekend hes working a lot too not just with me ya know image
I see Sam's point about my brother and that but what am i meant to do ive told him he is not to come to my house anymore i cant trust him and i told my mum he needs dealing with i had a massive arguement with her and we wernt speaking yday but she did come round and forgive me but despite me saying all this to her what sam wanted me to do it wasnt enough and he says i think we should go on a break until you grow a back bone with your mum imageimage =/ Like he couldnt of picked a worse 21 weeks pregnant my twins are coming up 2 im working and my grandad is dying and im helping take care of him at home no wonder my blood pressure is up poor bambino :'(
So he didnt come to take us to the caravan as you can see because apparently my mum didnt want us to go so he didnt want to upset my mother image
I told him i couldnt be hanging around being on a break it was rediculous i had done everything i was supposed to do i cant control how my mum controls my brother! He said he needs some time so hes staying at the van for a week i got a text off his mum saying he was emotionally drained im now starting to worry if he is going to be able to cope with being a dad to 3 =/ This always happens to me the girls dad ran off when i was pregnant with them and now sam am i that repulsive when im oregnant i dont think im crazy hormonal and i dont make demands of anyone!
Then to top the whole bloody lot Ella fell of a chair 2 days ago and she made little fuss about it but she seems to be carrying it funny and not fully using it if Ruby ctaches it she cries n if i hold her hand or pick her up and knock her arm so i think shes sprained it so i think a trip to A&E will be in order tomorrow :'( I REALLY cant take much more what do i do about Sam i LOVE him the TWINS love him and im having his BABY in 19 weeks =/ probly less as the midwife did say she thinks im high risk for a prem birth i had it with the twins and my blood pressure is high i feel like locking myself in a dark cupboard and not coming out! Feel bad like im not doing enough for the btwins with all this stress my mum and dad and bessie mate have had them a lot the last cpl weeks :'( HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • First of all - breathe! Being pregnant with all this on top is not good for you.

    Secondly - Sam is a good man. He has said all this to you because he is being honest and wants to work things out. Sometimes you would prefer not to face it but you need to sit down and discuss all this and get it off both of your chests. Then you can both have a good cry about it. Don't do this over the phone - sit down and be honest with him. Start with the positives (how good a father he is, how much you love him, how much you appreciate him looking out for you etc).
    However I don't agree with him throwing the twins being "your" kids in your face. That's not on and you need to let him know that this comment really hurt, they are human beings, not possessions!

    I have to say that although it's difficult you do need to separate yourself a bit from your brother at this time. His behaviour may not be helped by his ADHD but you mustn't make excuses for it, he needs to grow up. If he is stealing from his pregnant sister then what else might he do? Don't make a huge issue about it, just make excuses that you are trying to settle the twins or aren't feeling up to him staying with you. Don't worry about the girls having the same problems, first of all ADHD is much rarer in girls and secondly there is a lot more help for parents nowadays.

    It sounds like you are being pulled in different directions but remember that Sam just wants to look after you. He is worried about your blood pressure and stress levels. He probably just thought that a few days away from your grandfather would give you a break. You need to explain to him how worried you are.

    Anyway I hope Ella is ok. Phone Sam and tell him you love him and can't wait for him to come home. Relationships are never easy, especially when with the stresses of toddlers, pregnancy, moving house and money but the right man is worth the hassle. :\)

    H xx
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